My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. We had a very serious realtionship and dated for about 2 years. Everything was perfect in our relationship except for the fact that I worried and questioned him about everything. I was always paranoid that he was going to do something to hurt me even though he never actually gave me a reason to worry. He was always mad at me because I was either questioning him or he was thinking about me questioning him.
He broke up with me three weeks before this last breakup but gave me one last chance to show him I could change. I tried very hard, but I got jealous when a girl started working with him. He broke up with because he thinks I can't change and he wants to get away from drama.
I'm not sure if this is what he really wants because he told his family that he was taking time away from the relationship and he needed space. He told me there was no hope and it was over. He did tell me he still loves me though. I'm not sure what he really wants.
2007-07-24 04:05:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
nobody like s nag....t.
2007-07-28 01:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he really loves you, he'll give you another chance, but you have to accept responsibility and realize that he already gave you a second chance and you blew it. If I were him, no I wouldn't give you another chance unless I was seriously in love with you. Also, if it's a high school romance, then no. At my age (20's), yes, because relationships are more serious.
But you need to change. When you get jealous, bite your tongue and just let it out when you're alone. Don't bring up your anger and jealousy- ever. Talk to a therapist if necessary.
If he doesn't take you back, you will move on. Even though you think you won't, you will. It will be rough, but you'll get through it- every one does.
2007-07-24 04:13:16 · answer #2 · answered by :-) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me answer your very last sentence for you 1st.
He wants the madness, & the jealousy (drama) to STOP!
Your problem with your boyfriend isn't about HIM, it's about YOU. Now I'm not trying to make you out to be the bad guy here, I am sure you were well intentioned.
What I am trying to say is that it isn't about your relationship with your boyfriend as much as it is about your relationship with YOURSELF.
It would be very simple to prove this to you. All we need is for you to move on & start a new relationship with someone else, & I can guarantee you that if you haven't gotten to the root of your jealousy you will start the same thing with the next guy. This is something that is written in your "manual of operations", & you need to find a way to change that.
Start by taking your focus off of him, & turn to yourself. Work on what it is about yourself that makes you react in a jealous manner in the relationship you are in.
As yourself "what is my pay-off here?" What is it about your constantly asking him for reassurance that he isn't going to leave you that brought you a momentary sense of relief from your anxiety? Isn't it ironic that the one thing you thought you were trying to prevent ACTUALLY HAPPENED!? And isn't it even more ironic, that the probable cause of the break-up was the very thing you were doing that you hoped against hope WOULD be the salvation of your troubled relationship.
The fact is; you were trying to do the impossible. You took on yourself COMPLETE responsibility for the success of the relationship, because you never trusted him. So you tried to CONTROL him, by constantly keeping tabs on everything he did.
I learned a while back that the only person I have any control over is myself. I hope that one day you will learn that as well, & will also learn how to put that into practice.
Until you do, I am afraid that you really aren't ready for a relationship with him, or anybody else.
So here's the good news. Once you have a better relationship with yourself, I'll bet your boyfriend WILL want to give you another chance. ;-)
2007-07-24 04:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go. Trust me, i have been through the exact same thing and six months later my man came back to me. But i left him alone, i did not call, text or hang with his friends. I completely immersed myself in school and bettering myself to figure out why i was so un-trusting and why i let such a great guy go. I did see other men, but i did not get serious with any of them, i was too heart broken. But the thought that it was really over was enough for me to finally move on and as soon as i did he called me and said he missed me. I gave him a chance to see that there was no one on this planet like me and how miserable he was without me. So when we got back together i had my head straight. We have now been married 2 years and have one child and our second on the way. I do not get jealous anymore,i went to therapy because i had other issues as well, but jealousy has not been an issue in our marriage. Trust me, let him go, work on you and let him come back to you. It will be 8million times better when he does. If he doesn't, oh well, you made yourself a better person in the process. You will not be as long as you stay with him, you need that time away to get your head straight.
GOOD LUCK
2007-07-25 02:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by micah z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u trust him, and i mean really trust him, u shouldn't be asking him questions all the time. i mean it's obvious he's sick of it. so it's okay 2 feel insecure about him sometimes, but it's ok. just don't over do it.i mean he loves so he'll probably give u another chance just be careful with what u say. if he doesn't come after u again, then baby this is when u chase him and tell him, u're not gonna be the same nagging person as u were be4. he's sure 2 take u back. well anyways good luck!
2007-07-24 04:13:20 · answer #5 · answered by izzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but if your ex told you that you're too jealous and clingy then he must know what he's saying.
Read here https://tr.im/yJuWL
Anyone that goes out clubbing just to see what their ex is doing or drive by his place at 7:00 a.m. to see who's there tell me that you need to work on something. I don't think that you are only jealous but also possessive. And if you don't change that then you will never get your ex back. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to mean to you. I only want you to see what you are doing is so wrong. You have to admit that you are jealous and clingy. If you can't admit that then you'll never be able to fix the problem.
I understand that you don't like it if he dances and flirts in front of you. But guys are guys. And many guys don't see anything wrong with this. I know you feel hurt if he does that in front of your face. And it is disrespectful. But there are ways you can talk to your boyfriend if he's flirting while he's with you. You only have to tell him that it hurts you and that it's disrespectful and then ask him to stop doing it when he’s with you.
I don't know if getting back with your ex is going to last because now you have two problems. You were having problems with him because of his flirting and now you will have another problem because of this girl that he's going out with. It is eating you alive that he's involved with this girl and you know he's probably sleeping with her. How are you going to handle that if you get back together? Because of your jealousy and your insecurities are you going to be able to forget that he was ever involved with this girl? You really need to work on this and make sure if you try to get him back that you never again mention about his flirting or this girl. You can mention one more time how his flirting affects you but it has to stop there.
You asked how do you compete with the girl he's involved with. I looked at the picture and I can tell that your ex knows how to go for beautiful girls. So that give me a clear picture about how you look. I have a feeling that you are also very beautiful but for some reason I don't think you see yourself that way. The only thing I can tell you is that your boyfriend did not leave you because he didn't love you. He left you because of your jealousy and because you were clinging to him. If you love his as much as you say you do then fight for him and get him back. And if you do get him back then make sure that you can promise him that you will no longer be jealous, clingy or insecure about your relationship with him. If you can't promise him that then you may as well forget about him because it won't work if you don't change,
2016-07-19 22:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he won't give you a chance, show him that you've changed. and if he does give you a chance, dont take for granted what you're given. actually try to change. if your relationship with him went on for two years, you should be able to trust him enough to go to work even though there's a girl there. when you get jealous or paranoid, think of what options you have. you could smother him, or trust him. what did you want him to do, quit his job?
2007-07-24 04:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by yromie742 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like you need to find what you really want.
Can't blame the guy, you sound like you don't trust him and that is no way to be in a relationship.
Give him the space, maybe good for you to take it as well and find out what you may be doing wrong and to fix it for good.
2007-07-24 04:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/2hOwa
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-26 01:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you have trust issues! You need to chill out and start trusting him. It doesn't matter who he works with if he loves you. Give him some space and when he's ready and if it's truly meant to be, he'll come back!
2007-07-24 04:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants you to ease up. u need to stop asking so many questions and leave him alone!! its possible that he really loves you...but your insecurities make it impossible for him to be with you. NO ONE wants to be questioned everyday abt every little thing, you need to concentrate on yourself and figure out why you are insecure and take care of those issues before getting into serious relationships or you are just setting yourself to fail n you will only sink deeper into the hole of self pity
2007-07-24 04:32:40 · answer #11 · answered by hesluvinme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋