why cant i drive normally with my hubby?

Question

im having lessons and im doing really well with my instructor but it seems everytime i get in the car with my husband i go to peices im like a nervous wreck honest ive tried to stay calm and not make mistakes but i just cant seem to do right by him when it comes to driving

does everyone have this problem when learning to drive with a relative or is it just me

should i stop having lessons with him b4 i ruin my confidence or just grin and bear it and think of the experience im getting even if it is like driving in a war zone lol

i love my hubby to bits but he cant seem to grasp the fact that im not a child and he doesnt need to shout i swear he makes my heart pound when were driving along i have to remind him that im trying my best and im not a formula one driver and think that sticking to a safe speed is ok

i think hes scared a little and i understand that but he gets so arsy about it its unreal its like he loves the car more than me if that make sense

Answer 1

He's a man and all men think they're superior drivers to women (statistics prove otherwise)
Stick with your lessons until you're a confident enough driver to tell him where to go, next time he yells at you, the idiot!

Answer 2

I understand exactly what you mean. I had the same problems with my husband. I was having driving lessons in a powerstiring car and our car was not, so I asked him if it would be ok if I can practice with him in the car. he was happy but as soon as I get on the wheel my heart start pounding because i know he's watching each and every details. Once he started shouting at me at the wheel and I start trembling and not even thinking staight and when we arrived at our destination, I got out of the driver seat and ask him to take over. He asked me why and I just showed him my trembling hands. he was shocked but I still was having some lessons with him. No change in his behaviour. Once I told him it's good if you have some comments at least I can take that on board but all he was doing was criticising me and this was not doing me any good, especially for my morale. Then once we had an argument and I started to have driving lessons again which I had stopped months ago. I booked myself for the test and book lessons 3 times a week as I had only 2 weeks to learn. I was doing this behind his back. Once he was so worried as he was calling me all the time and I was not picking up the phone, I tried to lie but he did not take it in and I had to tell him the truth. Finally the day of my test I told him that I had lesson. I passed, came back home and told him the news, he was thrilled and even bought me a P plate on the same day. As I was working night I drove to my workplace that day. Since then I have been driving all the time.
I forgot to mention on top that I failed my First test but passed the second.

This will pass when you pass your test. just practice everything will be fine. If that is not helping your morale don't drive with him. He would be more appreciative when you come and tell him you have passed.

A survey said that most of divorce happens on the wheels, as couples argue on driving techniques.Like I have done and like you are doing now.

All the very best in your lessons. Trust you capabilities and you will be fine.

Answer 3

I had to smile when I saw this post! I have had a drivers license for years and years now. I have always considered myself a decent (if not good) driver. Yet, every time I am driving with my boyfriend in the car, I become a nervous wreck and start making stupid mistakes! :) I know that he thinks that I am a pretty lousy driver and he likes to tell me what to do when I am driving. This causes me not to be able to focus on driving, and therefore I get flustered! I have told him a million times to keep his instructions to himself and allow me to drive! Since that doesn't seem to be a possibility, I just let him drive 99% of the time when we are together. It is much less stressful that way.:)

I would suggest that you tell your husband how his comments are affecting your driving confidence and ask him to stop. If he is not able or willing to keep his advice to himself, perhaps you can find a friend or family member that is willing to help you learn to drive without the added stress. Good luck!

Answer 4

My husband still makes me nervous now when i drive with him in the car. I never had lessons with him cos of this, and i passed my test 3 1/2 years ago now. I usually only drive on my own or with the kids, and he drives if we are together, but sometimes he needs a lift after a hospital or dentist appt and he is a nightmare. Stay clear of driving with your hubby cos it will turn you into a wreck, and i reckon it could cause an accident!!

Answer 5

Driving with your husband is probably going to make you crack in one of two ways

1. You lose all confidence and won't be able to drive unless he's with you and then just stop driving.

2. You become stronger and then all of a sudden become a darn good driver (that's what happened to me when I was learning how to drive a stick)

Either way for the sake of your marriage end the lessons with him. I have friends that side seat drive and before I punch them in the face I just tell them to get out and make them walk or they could just shut up and don't break my concentration.

Answer 6

Lol no offence meant but my husband keeps on at me about taking lessons and he said he`ll teach me we tried a couple of times It doesn't work.Don't cross your hands,check the mirror,don't do this don't do that but it`s only by watching what he does that i picked up those bad habits it got that bad that i stopped the car in the middle of the road and walked off haven`t been back behind a wheel since lol. Good luck mate.I`d stick to a payed instructor .

Answer 7

his nervousness rubs off on you and makes you more nevrous than you already are. You want to please him and do well for him so badly you just try too hard.

When I learned to drive I could not go with my mother because she was too much of a nervous wreck, which made me a nervous wreck. I used mainly driving instructors and drove with my dad only once (he drives large cars and I didnt feel right the only time I drove one.)

Answer 8

We're all more critical of loved ones.
You're nervous driving with him because he is making you nervous.
You need to explain this to him at a time when you are both calm and not driving. Like at dinner sometime.
Otherwise he will keep making you nervous.

Answer 9

Stick with the lessons with your instructor, don't go with your husband anymore. Let him do what he is good at.

Good teachers will tell you that they are not able to motivate their students by yelling at them. Remember, learning is supposed to be fun.

I'm sure your husband is a good man but it doesn't sound like his talents lie in teaching.

Answer 10

i think you should just stick to lessons with your instructor then once you have passed your test hopefully your husband will have enough confidence to be in the car with you and stay quiet

good luck :-)