How do I get over this feeling?

Question

I feel bad when I look at my life compared to my two ex sister-in-laws. They both have good marriages, careers and children and are financially stable.

I look at my life. I am divorced. My ex-husband has custody of our 15year old daughter. He blames me for ruining or not making her life as it could have been. She does not have the talents or grades of her cousins.

I don't have too many friends either. They have a lot of family friends and are able to mix with other families.

I feel that I am a misfit in society because I am alone. I look at their pictures and good times and feel bad about my life.

I guess that life is not fair and we have to accept the lot that we are given. I also changed my own life due to the divorce.

Answer 1

1) Stop comparing your life to others'. This is the first thing you will have to do in order to stop feeling bad. The biggest step you will take is to feel that your life is in your own control.

2) Take charge of your life. Instead of complaining and looking at what could be, pull yourself out of the past and into the present. Remove all the if's and but's from your life. Ask yourself what can i do right now to better myself?

3) Go out and socialize. The easiest way to do this will be to go your local community center and sign up for some classes. They could be for anything from fitness to sports or the arts. This is a great way to meet new people and strike up friendships.

4) Take up a hobby, read books, keep your mind active. The best things in life come from knowing that you put hard work into them and reaped the rewards.

5) Talk to your daughter if you can. Do no confront her, do not be condescending, do not corner her and most of all show her that there have to be boundaries in life. Ask her why she is not doing well, be a friend for her. If she blames you for anything apologize and keep apologizing until it hurts, she will come around.

It is natural to say that life is unfair, to feel like misfit for someone who has or is going through trying time. However, the only thing you can do is to accept what has happened and that it is in the past. Self-pity is an internal destroyer. It makes you feel worse and the worse you feel the easier it is to feel self-pity for yourself. Pull yourself out of this self-destroying behavior.

And for questions like these, the best thing to do is to find someone to talk to, someone who will listen and offer "constructive" criticism about you and your life. Will give you a kick in the pants when you start to slow down. The only thing you can do is keep moving forward.

Answer 2

The only one responsible for your life is you. You can make it grand or pitiful. If you want to whine, do it alone. Take it one step at a time. Don't expect to see immediate results, nor praise for a job well done. Do it for you. Go back to school, get a second job and save money. Volunteer and help others less fortunate. There are a millions ways to improve your life, you just have to stop wallowing in self pity and move your butt~!! HUGS

Answer 3

dont feel too bad about yourself. look at the bright side. your a smart young women who earns a good living and has a good job and you have great health. everything will come in due time. also go out and start dating and build up your confidence. talk to co workers and make friends. god wont give you family and friends and happyness, he will give you plenty of opportunities to get all that but you have to take the chance so that you can end up living like your ex-sister in laws

Answer 4

Sounds like you are depressed by dwelling on what other's have. You need to find yourself by figuring out what you want to do with your life. Find something to make your life feel full, rewarding, and brings you happiness so you aren't filled with envy. If you can achieve this, I doubt you would be comparing yourself to others as those thoughts would disappear.