any ideas for my little sister i dont know what to do ??

Question

my younger sister is 13 and recently we have had lots of trouble with her. my mum has tried punishing her by all the usual ways like groundings and no computer etc but none seems to work. she has been put on report at school because of her attitude and yesterday my mum borrowed her computer for work and found pictures of her on there that were not good for a 13 yr old to have, the pics were of her and friends up the centre trying to act sexy, also in her bedroom. my dad went mad and called her a **** etc but she still doesent care she just says sorry and does it again sayin it was just for a laugh. its hurting all the family as we are scared we are going to have to go to the police station and identify her body or something. we try to talk to her about peadophiles and people like that but she thinks she is above it all. shes a very pretty girl and thinks that she can act like this because shes good looking (if that makes sence!) how can we get her to understand that this is not a good

thing to do and that bad things will happen to her?? my mum has also grounded her and ban her from seeing all her friends that were in the pics but she goes to school with them so cnat be stopped realy. please help

she is grounded for the holidays! we are also threatening boarding school and she does not care about tv etc.

Answer 1

you cant really stop her, i know its harsh to say but she needs to learn the hard way. You just be there to pick her up every time she gets into trouble its all you can do. It will calm down as she gets older.

Answer 2

Before you can solve the problem you need to dig deeper.
She is acting this way for a reason. This is the behavior of someone who doesn't feel loved or good about herself and seeking attention in any way she can get it. Negative attention is better than none. She can still see someone loves her when she misbehaves because they react. Better to react to her positive behavior and give positive feedback on her positive actions and qualities. Talk to her find out how she's feeling, how does she feel about how she was raised?Even if you don't agree with what she says give her some validation. Such as I hear you saying you feel________ that must be tough. It's not agreeing but it shows you hear and sympathize. You must be genuine when you respond though.

In the meantime, you may want to consider enrolling her in a martial arts class(or another sport) She can learn to defend herself and build self confidence. Take some classes with her so she can see someone is interested in her well being. If she's creative an make it an arts related thing writing, art or dance. Keep taking classes until she give a clear indication she is into it and independent. Actions speak louder than words.

Answer 3

I think she has to 'think' she is being left to get on with it. You and your parents should obviously try and keep an eye on her whereabouts etc but give her a little bit of independence and to learn from her own mistakes.

Usually when kids are like this at such a young age the chances of them growing out of it in a few years is more likely.

Try and con her into doing things as a family for example say to her ' we have a good DVD and some sweets etc so if you get in a bit earlier tonight we will all watch it together, if you want'. But you have to make her feel it's her choice. Chances are she will feel you all want her there and will come home early.

You have to remember she isn't doing this to get at you all. This is simply what she is having to do to fit in with the people she chooses to hang around with.

Let her know she can trust you as a sister, as she may want advice sometime and it would be good if she knew she could turn to you rather that someone else.

Answer 4

My little sister is now 17 yrs old,when she was 15 yrs old she was doing the exact same thing..and even worse stuff. They talked to the police department,and they already knew of her because she had gotten a few fines for fighting and smoking. My parents had them put her in a juvenile detention center for 3 weeks,she then learned that she wasnt as tough as she thought she was..after some big girl punched her in the face. She was being yelled at and bossed around and wasnt able to get away with her cocky mouth while she was in there. She changed a lot after that. Sometimes the more parents nag,the worse they act out. Even when she was acting the way she was before they put in a detention center..she seemed to act better when she stayed by me. It got her away from my nagging parents and I live an hour away from them,so she wasnt able to be with her trouble making friends. Are you an adult? Is there a way she can stay with you for the summer? I'm a lot more strict than my parents..and I'm only 25 yrs old,so she still listens to me.

Answer 5

Seems to me your sister is just in the teenager phase of rebellion. If I was her parent, I would try to get a mental health worker. I am sorry I am not saying that she is nuts or so. But her behavior is coming from somewhere. Something in her immediate environment has caused the troubles that she is in. Her sexual permiscinous, If I spell that word right, means something. Punishing her will not help solving the difficulties that she is experiencing. As a Social Worker, I recommend that your parents go to some counseling with her. She needs to explain her self, and realize that her behavior is not right. Than she needs with professional help to be rewired so that she won't be acting out. Hope your parents read this message. As it seem's to me she is a handful. Good luck.

Answer 6

totally sounds like how i used to be... my best bet is that she's rebelling. the more rules you set down for her, or the more punishments she gets, the more she will rebel. in this case, i don't think there really is anything you can do. she's gonna have to learn the hard way. that's how i learned. i was doing whatever i wanted, not caring bout how it hurt my family etc, then one day i really screwed up and got in huge trouble with my school...one week suspension, banned from school dances, and not being allowed to go on the one week field trip that my grade went on, etc. after that, i pretty much stopped. it was a big wake up call for me.
also, a problem with a lot of teens today is that they all think they're untouchable (i'm a teen myself, so i know what i'm talking about). they don't realize or think that what they're doing is that bad, so they don't think anything bad will happen to them. and, they think they can handle it all.
so basically, she's gonna have to learn the hard way that when she screws up, she won't always get the easy way out.

Answer 7

Yep sounds like me at 13,in the end mum was at the end of her tether and left me to get on with acting like this.I did learn the hard way and had to do alot of growing up very quickly.

But I am now the most responsible of all 3 of my sisters and I was supposed to be the eldest ,setting a good example.However I am now married with a child on the way with a good job a secure future ,I feel this is mainly because my mum let me learn my own lessons.

I

Answer 8

This is a hard situation.if you give a punishment you have to see it thro.my mum told me to never give a punishment or decide on a yes or no until you've thought it through,as if you dont follow it up, the child then knows you dont and the punishment is worthless.sadly,i have found it hard to follow that advice and its easier to let the punishment drop, just for an easy life.dont know whether this is happening to you?if it is maybe,be firm and as hard as it is be cruel to be kind and dont break the grounding or give the computer back.often its the people they go round with too.hope you can get through to her.

Answer 9

This is called "Teenager" It's a phase, unfortunately, it's a phase that you hope you can get through with your family entact and everyone still breathing!! Unfortunatley, the only thing you can do, is what your doing, DISIPLINE!! Do not send her away though, it'll be the biggest mistake that you'll make! It tells her that you gave up, you don't care enough to try and help her through this! I guarantee that even though it seems like she doesn't care, she does! She is just as confused inside as you all are outside! Her hormones are all jacked up, she's in an awkward stage of her life, she's going through alot of changes!! I'm not saying that what she's doing is o.k., because it's not! There's only so much you can do, we guide our kids, we try and help them make the right decisions, raise them with morals, values, and hope that they utilize these lessons and end up becoming the adult we'd hope they'd become! Thats all we can do, disipline, love, support, and more love!! Unless they are actually hurting themselves, all we can do is make it through this stage one day at a time!! God Bless and Good luck!! Remember awareness of their actions is very important, know what their doing, who their with, at all times try and do it without them knowing(she'll just become angry if she knows). Your parents knowledge of their daughters lifestyle and friends will be their biggest defense in helping her get through this, sometimes we need to let our kids make mistakes so that they may learn and grow from them!

Answer 10

shes acting up for a reason which you need to find out what it is maybe she started her period or a boy told her she was ugly or somthing if not then tell her shes putting the family in hell and you cant handle it no more . you have to do more than ground her maybe take her electronics away, pick her up from school so she doesnt go no where else take away her nice shoes, clothes etc..
if she still acts up and doesnt telll you why she is then threaten her, tell her you are going to take her to see a pherapists or tell her you are going to send her to a bording shcool etc....
there has to be a reason for what she does so break it out of her(if that makes sense)
good luck

Answer 11

I suggest homeschool? Try finding a local homeschool if your parents don't want to. Make sure you speak to the teacher about not letting her away with a camera, etc.
Otherwise, let her learn. If you put her in a boarding school, she'll be AWAY and with all girls(most likely) so that would prob. be worse.