Seriously there are so many posts here about cheating spouses - nearly everyone has a story to tell. Is it part of our make up to want to cheat on our spouse - some feel that just the thought is enough to classify as cheating, wow , but it does seem that an intimate relationship with one person does lose its excitiement over time and then one party decides that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If this is the norm it would explain why the saying " you have to work hard at your marriage/relationship " arose - maybe this is the real struggle in relationships - how to keep them interesting and new to resist the "natural " urge to stray onto new ground. Why is marriage still so popular if 50% fail because of a cheating spouse? Would alowing a relaxation of the strict monogamy rule in marriage make them last longer - speaking for myself I would not leave my wife and kids for a brief affair or one night stand either myself or if she did it.
Any ideas?
2007-07-23 23:22:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I believe that monogamy is possible. However, I know what you mean about people cheating and that being one of the leading causes of divorce. I don't think that having an open marriage would be a solution because that would bring many more problems in the marriage. You might not leave your family in this situation. However, what would you do if you became emotionally attached to the other woman? Would you expect your wife to deal with the neglect that would ultimately happen or would you want to deal with it if it was the other way around? I think that keeping things interesting in the sex life of you and your spouse would be a better option.
2007-07-23 23:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes monogamy is VERY possible. I find it really sad that some people get so selfish and think only of themselves and cheat. I heard this a while ago, and I think it really suits.
If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to start watering your lawn at home. Meaning, start cultivating your own marriage, and go back to those things that made you fall in love with your spouse and do those things.
It's worked for my wife and I, and now we are happier than we have ever been in our marriage.
2007-07-24 00:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The natural genetic make up of humans does not promote monogamy. The propagation of the species was built on the mating of the strongest male with the most fertile female.
However now that we as a species have progressed to a more intellectual and enlightened time, we promote monagamy. The way to keep a marriage going is through honesty, loyalty and mutual respect.
It also doesn't hurt to keep our physical attributes in a state of decency. That makes it less likely that the spouse will look elsewhere.
2007-07-23 23:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is my view...if it's that easy for someone to cheat...even if brief or one night affair...it's that easy to leave! It is not natural to stray onto new ground...and some of the time it's an ex that is involved. Allowing a relaxation on the monogamy rule is a bad, bad thing...you have STD's...and I believe God allows STD's as a punishment for sexual promescuity! You have children...what kind of example is that to them to have someone on the side, even if one night? Then, you have the feelings of your significant other, plus the person you are messing around with significant other. Then, of course, there is your family...your parents...who most likely have been faithful for 20 or 30 or 40 years! They have most likely taught you right and wrong. I saw a comment from someone recently on here..."we have been married 19 years, and neither of us cheated, what's everyone's problem???". My hubby's parents have been married 30 plus years, neither of them cheated...my dad and mom have been married 40 plus years, neither of them cheated...and my mom is in the nursing home and my dad is still faithful! This generation follows hollywood and music and the internet instead of the old fashioned values. I hope you don't decide to stray. How would your wife feel if you strayed? Did you think of that? Would she ever stray? Did you think of that? Oh, because many others are doing it, it's ok? No, it's not ok. It all comes down to morals, standards, values, principles...I would be much more proud of myself of being totally faithful to my husband...that's a life to be proud of...!
2007-07-24 00:18:47 · answer #4 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that alot of people have this problem because they either don't get to know their partner very well before marriage, or they don't know themselves very well. My hubby and I dated for 4 years, lived together for 1 year before we finally got married 8 years ago. I can see how marriage is work, but not in the sense that we have to work at staying faithful to each other. Staying faithful is very easy for us...we have no desire to be with other people. We've discussed what it would be like if we ventured out into 3sums, but after some talk, we realized that we make each other happier than anyone else possibly could. I guess maybe we're soul mates, huh?
2007-07-23 23:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right,its in our nature to "want more" in life.
Personally I donot know if monogamy exists or ever will unless people start fearing God,it never shall.
I donot feel the urge to graze on greener pastures cause I am very satisfied where I am.But most people have some mental or emotional problem and think what they have is not good enough;Thats where polygamy comes in.
2007-07-23 23:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by sanam 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have just gone through and read all of your posts, I truly understand what you are going through I am female. I understand every popst you have put up, but please trust me its not worth it.
Stop it all now before its too late, I hope you can see and read this, its not too late for your marriage it just needs more work and to approach it from another angle.
I am still working hard at mine and every day is different I was able to say NO and so can you.They way I thought of it was I want to see my daughter get married I want to be there with my husband not with another man and he with another woman. I want to hold my grandchildren not another woman or man doing this.
Good Luck .
2007-07-24 22:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Monogamy is possible but because of the way western civilization is sweeping all over the world and disregard for culture and norms of the people, we usually find ourself does things that are not permitted by the society.
2007-07-23 23:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by freeall_freeme 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's just become so easy to sleep around these days that some people don't seem to think before they jump into bed with somone. Couples should try spicing up their sex life before looking elsewhere....and finish the current relationship they are in.
2007-07-23 23:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by Jo 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you obviously have morals my ex didnt he cheated and hes thrown 3 years down the tube, hes a idiot.
2007-07-24 01:57:33 · answer #10 · answered by ♥**•.¸¸verbalkint♥**•.¸¸ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋