question for single moms?

Question

why do you always blame your kids dad, when you choosed to sleep with the jerk in the first place? Did you really think you were going to change him? Try to be honest and not defensive.

Yeah, it takes two to tango, but it's still your choice if you want to sleep with him if he has a condom or not. take some responsibility for choosing the jerks. All guys mainly want from girls is action, not relationships. They just stay with you so they can get it regularly. then get pressured to propose to you. I know it sounds harse, but thats what immature guys think. I still think it sucks for the kids who get caught in the middle and grow up with issues.

Answer 1

It is always the man's fault. Even when a woman kills her children it is a man's fault.

Answer 2

You and guys like you should not be allowed to speak. This opinion that guys just want to have sex so they don't have to take a moral look at what is said and done when these children are being made is one more male excuse. First of all I know alot of females that are single moms because they believed the big lies like, I want to have a family, I Willl take care of you and any child we have, I cant get you pregnant because if medical reasons, I wil be there for you, I want you to have my child etc.. You say women lay down with these jerks. I say the jerks will tell a woman whatever it takes to get what he wants. There is enough blame to go around. YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.

Answer 3

I think you are being a bit harsh directing this questions to all single moms. woman that blame the fathers ( unless it is rape ) must be very ignorant indeed. Woman have the choice of birth control and this is free in all countries they also have the power to say no to unprotected sex. But men also have a responsibility to make sure the woman is protected and if not to take the appropriate steps as they are all aware of the consequences. I believe it takes two to tango and if a child is concieved i believe both parties need to accept responsability. Throwing accusations does not solv the problem and it has a devestating effect on the kids. Moms who are openly dissing their fathers are causing untold damage to the kids minds and their sense of selfworth. Imagine a kid hearing that he comes from a father who is a loser and an idiot. I am a single mom and my kids father says that my son is my problem and refuses to take responsability ( i had to drag him through court to get maintenence) but when my son reaches the age where he would like to know about him , i would rather tell him about all his fathers good points then running his father down. My views on his father are mine and mine alone and my son has the right as an individual to make up his own mind as in how to view his father.

Answer 4

As mentioned, it takes two to tango but it is a d*** good parent who takes the time to build a bond between parent and child.

When a single mom is struggling trying to make ends meet and the father is out doing whatever he chooses, it does seem that single mothers are blaming the dad for the struggle. Most single mothers I know blame the father for not helping out financially but it's those same single mothers that raise strong men and women...

Answer 5

To answer your question.....

Lots of kids' dads put thier best foot forward and pour on the charm. They're literally the "perfect" boyfriend, and spouse. However, once they realize that they've "got" you and you're not going anywhere, then they slowly start to change into who they really are.

If you are smart, then you leave the jerk at that time when he lets his true self show and take him for all the child support you can get. If you are stupid, you try to change his jerky behavior and get disappointed and still leave him and take him for all the child support you can get.

So really, it's a win-win situation either way.

(Ask a question like that, you get an answer like that)

Answer 6

I don't understand, why some women think by spreading their legs to a guy,they think he will change his character into Prince Charming.A woman must have a self respect, she has to know what kind of person she is dealing with. I feel sorry for the children, they can not experience the family life of biological parents together. I asked one woman why her bf is only taking care of his youngest when he have 3 kids ,they woman said that the 2 is not his. I really feel sorry for these kids.

Answer 7

I blame him when he hurts my daughters feelings. I blame him for what he DOES or DOESN'T do. yes, I married him. I did not want him to change at all...I thought he was perfect the way he was. But he did change and it was not for the better. It seems like the older he gets the worse it gets. The man I married and had these children with never would have treated them the way he does. I can't explain any of it so I don't try.

Answer 8

It might be because he walked away and left wonderful children without a father. Or possibly it is because he doesn't call on their birthdays or help with the medical bills. Or it might be because I have to work two jobs to support my children while he does nothing and pays nothing.

No I didn't think I would change him but I also didn't know that he was a worthless liar who could think of no one but himself.

Oh and his mother thinks the same way, I also take care of her when she needs help--her son couldn't be bothered!

Answer 9

Nope, we married, dated for two yrs before marriage, he wanted and stressed marriage and wanted all that, i wanted to live together, anyway when the child arrived he freaked, and began to hit, beat, cheat, have a child with another woman, i dont blame him for giving me a wonderful child i blame him for feeding me bs promises, but hey people are people, i do however blame him for not calling, writing nothing to our lil girl that he wanted so badly and ive never asked him for anything, we stop sending him pictures and cards cause he never responded, i did initially resent that he was out having a good old time with friends and money and i was struggling to make ends meat when i left him but hey you think you date, you love, live, marry etc do things the "right way" that things are better but they are always subject to change. I do however have a problem with baby mama dramas and girls who get pregnant by dudes who they know have kids with different women and proudly serve it up and add themselves to a hareem! and i do have a problem with girls who trash the baby daddy name - let it go and take your piece of humble pie and shut up cause some of it was your fault take responsibility for your actions -

Answer 10

well, i was single for 5 years, me and my ex got along, no reason to fight, we don't hate each other. we have a mutual respect, he's the father, i'm the mother. i mean we argue but, the goal is the same, THE KIDS, come first no matter what. i'm remarried, the ex comes over whenever he wants to see the kids, my husband and the ex get along, pretty good, probably because, their are no big EGOS. i'm very lucky.

Answer 11

I am not a single mom anymore, but I was for awhile. I am not going to be defensive. I blame myself, for wasting so much of my life trying to help someone who didn't want to help themselves, much less take care of me and his daughter. It's my fault for believing him everytime he apologized for his physical or verbal abuse. The only thing I blame him for is not being a responsible adult and taking care of himself so he'd be worth a damn to anyone else. So now, four years after I told him to leave and not come back, he is still an a$$hole, but my daughter and myself, we have found happiness in ourselves, each other, and eventually in our new family.