thanks for your answers but i have a job but i will not make my kids live in the same standard he provided to us , i ll move my child to a cheaper school.but i am so afraid i feel lonely and unsecure concerning our financial position without him,i ve passed the feeling of anger i s this right to feel afraid?? what about what shall i say to my kids?i know that he will mainipulate them and accuse me of our divorce.Ithink he should pay for what he did and that leaving him not supporting my kids and even court in my country gives the children quarter what the father earn and as what he earns can not be proven he will leave my children with nearly no money. does anyone have a plan??
2007-07-23 22:06:06 · 6 answers · asked by mony y 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best thing you can do is cut your losses and do the best you can for you and your child. Keep your job, set up a financial plan to help you make ends meet and forget about the jerk who is so greedy with money that he'll let his child suffer hardships just so he can hold on to his cash.
I'm a mom of three girls that I've raised by myself. No one pays me any money even though my 3 year old's dad is rich. He's just a greedy jerk who doesn't think he should sacrifice anything for a child he helped make.
Anyway, the point is, I don't need him. Yes, it is harder paying the bills by yourself, but it also gives you time to enjoy raising your child more. It gives you the freedom to raise your kid the way YOU think is best, with no man interfering in your life. It also gives you more peace of mind and less work to do because now you don't have to cook or clean up after a selfish jerk.
Yes, I know it's lonely. It will get to you sometimes, make things seem harder, but you can work around this. What you need to do is find things that you like to do, things that will keep your mind off of things. You can also pick one night a week when you get to go out by yourself. Hire a babysitter and go to the movies. Go dancing. Shop. Do whatever makes you happy, but just get out and do it. You can also try finding things at home you like to do to fill your time. I love to write stories, listen to music, read books and answer these questions and play games. You might like something different. Find something you like and just do it. It'll make it better. It will also make you a stronger person, give you time to figure your life out and find out who you are and a lot of things that you are capable of that you didn't realize before. Being alone isn't always great, but even though I'm engaged now, I have found that I still need a lot of hours in the day all by myself so I can focus and recharge my mind, so I love it. My fiance has to go in another room and do his own thing while I do mine. So being alone is not so bad once you learn how to deal with it. You just have to figure out what works best for you.
As for your child's welfare, get a lawyer. If there is any hope of finding this jerk and getting him to help with the bills of raising your child, a lawyer will be best at it. You might be able to find one that will work for a small fee in exchange for a percentage of the proceeds of an initial settlement. Call around and ask, find out what you have in your area. If you can't afford a lawyer, the Child Support Resource Center is a free service you can learn more about by calling your local welfare office. Visit the welfare office and get some advice on how to proceed. You can also find more out about benefits you can get such as help with food, utilities, essential items, etc. If you are in need of one, they can help you find a suitable counselor as well.
Hang in there hon. Nothing is as bad as it seems and you can make it. Just have faith.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 22:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and think this through. Think about whats best for you and your kids. Do what you can to make him pay child support. If he lies and tells your kids bad stuff about you just ignore it. As long as you are a good Mom your kids will know the truth. In the long run, if the situation now is bad then moving out is the best thing for the children. It will give them a chance to live in a stress free environment.
2007-07-24 05:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by zerospacegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a good lawyer frst he will help u in getting good compensation amount so that initially u could start nicely and later on also the father had to pay compenations for the kids educations.....fear of getting alone is very natural cuz in our society single mother has too much of responsibilitis rather than other women/mother....but now that u had decided so then just go for it.....
2007-07-24 05:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by sonalirawal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know what? i'm a single parent. i decide for us, without the help of my ex. i don't even know where he is. the point i'm trying to make is, it is okey to be afraid but you have a job so i think you can make a go of your life and your kids without your husband's support. i did.
2007-07-24 05:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney.
2007-07-24 05:08:33 · answer #5 · answered by sweetangelgreeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the hell is the question?
2007-07-24 05:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by trudy b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋