So the other night I was at a party with my friend, he had about 2 beers and it takes a lot for him to get drunk, so I know he wasn't drunk. What happened was out of the blue he said to me "I don't think being gay is natural and I don't condone what you do in your free time and I never will, but we'll still be friends forever." That really hurt my feelings and I couldn't believe one of my best friends of 3 years had said that to me. I told him later how bad it hurt me two times, but he still refused to apologize and said he had a right to his opinion. I understand this but to think/say that about your best friend? I don't think i can forgive him or think of him the same way again. I'm not even sure I can even be his friend anymore... Am I a bad person for that? I think that's what I get for hanging with a republican :(
2007-07-23 19:44:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
wow, that remark truly sucks....coming from your "friend". unfortunately, you should walk away from that "friendship". how comfortable are you with the your friend's commitment to you, would he side with the "enemy" if confronted and not back you? don't put yourself in that situation. care more about you.
2007-07-23 19:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do two things:
Work with him, hoping he'll change (and he probably will)
Or ditch him as a friend, because you don't want to spend all that time and energy in option a.
Either way, feel confident about that decision. It's not right that he'd abuse you, but I've met some of the most conservative Republicans ever who have come around on gay rights. Heck, I remember having a discussion with a super-religious catholic friend of mine a while back on the issue and said something like "one day I'm going to get you to come around on the issue." Less than six months later, he now supports civil marriage equality a la Massachusetts. But not everyone has my patience and tolerance in dealing with those kinds of people.
2007-07-24 13:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by ryeguy123a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does have a right to his opinions, and you have a right to your feelings - sometimes it is best to keep your opinions to yourself, especially when you know they can be hard to accept.
BUT, so what if he thinks it's wrong and does not approve - - does he need to agree with it? Do you NEED his approval?
Why did his DIFFERENCE in beliefs hurt you? He seemed willing to accept YOU even though you are different than him!! YOU seem to think it's perfectly OK to put him down for being Republican - seemed that was fine for the last three years, NOW you say this - what, out of spite?? That makes YOUR opinions better or more valid??
One of my friends drinks too much and hangs around with minors - she knows I disagree, so she stays back when she's drunk - - another friend has a bf I can't stand so we hang out without him - NO DOUBT they find things disagreeable about ME!!! SO WHAT!! That is what is so interesting about people - we are ALL different - -
Accept who you are, and accept that there will ALWAYS be those who do not approve of everything you do. TRY not to be so DEFENSIVE when you are not totally accepted - getting emotional over comments about your sexual preference is silly. Calling HIM names and putting him down is hypocritical - -
He has the right not to approve, you have the right to be gay.
Don't try and change him - he wasn't trying to change you!!
2007-07-24 04:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. Your not a bad person. I would react the same. Real friends wouldn't say nasty things to you or about you. I'm sorry to say this but I think you shouldn't be friends with him anymore. I had a friend like that who said that type of stuff and it made me feel like ****, untill I minimized the time I had with him. You deserve a better friend.
2007-07-24 03:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well, I think your friend just kinda wanted to talk to you, and tell you how he feels about your life style.Maybe it wasn't a very nice thing to say, but it might just be how he feels, you know?I think that what he said was a bit stupid, and rude, so don't let that bring you down!I don't know if you should stop being his friend because of how he feels, but try to keep that subject away from him.Than again, if he can't except you for who you are, than maybe you SHOULD continue to not being his friend.I'm sorry that happened to you!
2007-07-24 03:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that you don't appreciate his comments, and he should keep them to himself in your presence. If you still feel inclined to hang out with him, see how he does with this for a little while. If he can't contain himself, maybe he's not a worthy friend. If he does, you just need to love him for who he is, and accept that while he may be a great person in some respects, he can be very closed-minded in others.
Good luck; I hope you and him can rebuild your friendship, and that he can become more open-minded some day
2007-07-24 02:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by neogeoloco@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to your feelings, he doesn't care about yours, time to go friend shopping, who needs someone like that in your life?!
He ment to hurt you, call him out on it, tell him he is full of crap when he says "but we will still be friends forever"
There are a lot of great tolerant understanding people out there, go find some and have a new friend!
2007-07-24 03:12:26 · answer #7 · answered by bfspeck 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha at the last line.
I personally take stands very personal to me as vital to be in compliance in a frienship. But that's just me. I would reevaluate how important your friendship is to you.
Or you could confront him and give him a lecture on being gay and the scientific evidence behind it. I find it's not very hard to leave a Republican tongue tied.
2007-07-24 02:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should base his answer on him being a republican. base it on the person he is alone. i'm not sure if you should stop being friends with him, but everyone has a right to their opinion. obviously he was stating his truths and it was better that he did so than lie about it. as long as he doesn't say anything blatantly insulting or something that truly hurts you i don't think you should question this friendship just yet. everyone has opinions its how he reacts with it that's to question. hope that helps.
2007-07-24 02:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by junkster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your friend just expressed his opinion. If he did it in a respectful way, then I can't find fault in what he said (I don't necessarily agree with him).
If he condemns your lifestyle and you are hurt by what he said, maybe you shouldn't remain friends.
.
2007-07-24 02:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Wise@ss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋