Is your CAREER getting in the way of your family life or is your FAMILY getting in the way of your career?

Question

...or have you found a way to juggle your time for BOTH fairly?

Which is more important to you?
Care to share?

Good, thoughtful answers, all of you. It was just the other day when I was surprised by my almost-3-year-old daughter counting to 18, and I only remembered teaching her to 10. It made me think; what else I have been missing out, in these important years of my child’s development? It is truly different for a mother, gentlemen. All the logic in this world could not override a mother’s instinct to nurture the child with what she instinctively knows as best, as a mother always would.

And on the other hand I am working the career of my dreams; architecture truly is my passion. As Mr. Sailcat here mentions, it is a difficult and demanding profession, as another one such as me would undoubtedly know. And I hope you all could see my dilemma.

So, as usual, I will address and thank each of you as I always have before:

The Phool (?): Thank you. What you mean is probably individual freedom. But this is the path that we all take as human beings, when the time comes to start a family. I believe we achieve a different kind of freedom when we have a family and career. One is the freedom to love in abandon, and another is the freedom to choose life as we make of it.

Rhonda: Yes, thank you. I am juggling for all that is worth in my life.

E.: Thank you. But nevertheless, I do believe against taking our families for granted; one must always make an effort to appreciate their understanding as well.

Cconsaul: Thank you, funny man! I laughed when imagining that. How I would love to see the life as you live it, singing and teaching whilst giving joy and light to others. I wish your family well, especially your wife.

Hulidoshi: I am living the same life you are. And somehow the priority seems to swing towards my family as well. Thank you and I wish you well.

Guru: As usual, you have always been pragmatic and astute in your answers. I agree that balance does not mean weighing the scales evenly on both sides. Nevertheless, it surely does not seem fair for a child to see the faces of their parents a mere one hour or two a day, as it is happening now with me. Thank you, I will definitely write that list.

Jach v: Thank you; I understand your frustration very well. It is not easy being at the beck and call of the company we store our honey in. If only we could split ourselves in two! I appreciate you sharing this with us. And would you send your “nephew?” my regards?

Shai Shammai: As always, it is a pleasure to have you on board. Our families are truly most important. Yet we spent hours away from them to be able to provide them a comfortable life, though one plagued by our absence. A difficult compromise indeed.

Joezen: Thank you. I will remember your advice to allow the body to rest. I agree that a well-rested mind will definitely help to get through another day.

Answer 1

Hi shahrizat:
I'm back to answer your good question.
My family and my career are my life. Remember that "Fair" can be a relative term. Your family and your career should be complementary to each other and not two forces acting in a separate way. Is normal that some conflicts occurs especially in our profession, but if they are ruining your family or your work sit down and reevaluate your priorities. When I was a student of architecture I dream to be famous architect as Aldo Rossi or Rob Krier this are my heroes. Time pass in and I ended with the conclusion that if you are making the best you can in your work and with your family you are your own heroe and probably the heroe of the persons around you. I have a recommendation about our profession: Your own office is your freedom, don't spend too many years working in a Firm just the time sufficient to practice and acquire experience. Is hard to start a office but you don't be disappointed. Remember that no project is small and you can make a great piece of art / architecture with each one. Take vacation to escape from you work and take vacations to enjoy your profession with your family. Both are important.
Be happy !

Answer 2

Modify your perception of fairness.

A career helps to pay for the future education of your children. Your absence may be noted, but the long term benefit for them is enormous.

Being happy means that you will be less stressed in dealing with your children. Your time with them will be more precious as it then becomes a commodity. time spent will be more meaningful.

Most of our families are in work or school for most of the day anyway. It shouldn't be an issue. Except when children are very young they are away from the home, and even this can accommodated.

Teaching children to care for themselves is bonus, not a sin. A child who learns responsibility will be a self-sufficient adult. In the world, we all have "chores" to do. Catering and pampering people only hurts them and sets up unrealistic expectations. No one else is going to do that for them. Why set them up for disappointment? Why train young women to be unhappy martyrs?

Your biggest obstacle is your own beliefs on the issue.

Balance does not mean 100% fair all of the time. Sometimes a career needs to take a backseat and other times, the family is doing fine and you can focus on your career.

Write a list of all the things that you should be doing. Then tear it up and never think about those shoulds again. They will rob you of happiness and make life a miserable existence.

Answer 3

I would say it is Both, but that I find a way to deflect the damage to both.

We all, when we choose to have a family rather than be workaholic hermits, choose to take certain risks both at home and the office. This is especially true in this current age, where it seems no families can afford to have a non-working, stay at home parent.

My family is most important, but that also why I work hard, to give them everything they need and some things they want.

There is no such thing as a true balance, only compromises we make to achieve our ultimate goals.

Answer 4

Good you asked that Sha.
I would say so...I mean my career is getting in the way of my family life,..and I feel so so sad thinking I couldn't spend as much valuable time with my family back home. I always needed to rush back from short annual vacations like it's so damned important to meet my company's requirements rather than enjoy more fun with the family. It's sooooo sickening! Many times I felt so ripped up inside like I wanted to quit this job and just go home. Yes convenience pays a high price!...So high that I know it's somehow getting unaffordable.

Answer 5

Family is always more important. Though it's easy to get trapped in a job, especially when you own the business.

I almost always spend time hanging out with family right after workday ends. Then if I have to work again I work when they go to bed. But sometimes you have to accept the defeat that sleep is better than endless work.

Answer 6

My family doesn't like when I juggle them. I tend to drop things. - Ow! -

I am on my third career (Folk Singer - Army Bandsman - Teacher) and the family is mostly grown up. My wife just finished getting her Masters so she will be beginning her career any time now. If anything, my career and my family are getting in the way of my sleepy time, but I don't mind. Next time I retire though, I am going back to folksinging. It might be too late to keep me young, but I'm sure it will keep me humble!

Answer 7

It's always a struggle. Sometimes work wins, sometimes life/family wins. And sometimes, work wins even when you need family to win, or family wins even when you need life to win.

Given a choice, I'd always pick family over work.

Answer 8

care, because a job may not last, but you should always be there for your family, so they'll be there for you in return.

Answer 9

it's hard to jugle but do really want to give up your family or do you really want to give up your career just try to juggle

Answer 10

both are getting in the way of your FREEDOM!