when he comes home from work he makes me bow down to him at his feet and i have to say "good evening Master" he then expects me to take his shoes off and bring him a glass of water..i then have to serve him dinner (a three course meal which i spent all day cooking) after dinner he watches t.v or does the paperwork he has me kneel at his feet until he tells me to go get something for him..e.g. beer / sandwich..i have to take leave of him to go run his bathwater..after he has his bath i dry him and help him put his robe on..then i give him a long massage..in bed (and out of bed) he makes me call him Master or Sir and im not really allowed to say no to anything he asks ..this is a typical day for us..sometimes i feel like he expects too much from me but then again he works so hard and takes good care of me..is it ok for me to do these things for him?
2007-07-23 14:11:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No that is not normal, I have been married 9 years and we have 3 kids and I would NEVER treat my wife like that I love her too much and respect her too much to treat her like a damn servant.
2007-07-23 14:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by Pete 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In some cultures this is normal. In the modern, western world this is not acceptable. This is a very dominate man that will most likely turn pysical if you were to "disobey" him. If you are truly comfortable with this and are sure that things won't turn for the worse, then stick with it. If not, then leave quick before he hurts you even worse than he already has.
It is one thing to take his shoes off at the end of the day, massage his feet, cook his dinner, grab him a beer, run his bath (not all - all the time), occasionally, but what does he do for you in the relationship? Money doesn't count - you ca do that yourself.
2007-07-23 14:21:40 · answer #2 · answered by annette 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you KIDDING? Please tell me that's NOT true. If you do these things you need therapy! Does he think he's "God" or something? He's not treating you with any respect or dignity...and you are letting him dominate and control your life like that? He doesn't love you. He wants a servant, not a wife. How can you put up with that? Do you really think it'll ever get any better? Don't you think you deserve to be treated like a human being? What about equality? You have needs, desires, feelings, dreams, goals....don't you? Do you think you deserve so much less? I don't know how long you've been with this creep, or why you thought it would be a good idea to marry him...but I can tell you this: he's not very likely going to change for the better, no matter how many "expressions" of love you try to show him by doing his every bidding. The more you "bow down" to him, the more demanding and controlling he's going to be. You are reinforcing his belief system. And you are robbing yourself of a happier life! I hope to God you don't bring children into this dysfunctional atmosphere. Do you want your kids to learn this kind of behavior? Does he beat you? Humilate you when you don't obey him? Do you fear not doing what he tells you to do? What kind of life is that? Have some respect for yourself! Get out of there while you still can! You're not a piece of property, a servant, a doormat! What is wrong with you? I guarantee that 99% of men won't treat you like that piece of s---- does. Kick him to the curb! Don't waste your life away! You deserve so much better. And there are men out there who would treat you with so much more kindness....this guy doesn't love you. He's a narcissist...he loves HIMSELF.
2007-07-23 14:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is 2007 honey. If you are calling him master, then you are implying that you are his slave. You dear are in an abusive relationship, and if you can't see that, you really need help. There are safe houses that you can run to. They will help you get away from him and they will help you get on your feet. If you are in the U.S. contact your local United Way. I'm curious, what does he do if you don't do exactly as he wishes? Does he berate you? Does he hit you? Nevertheless you are definitely being psychologically abused. When you have kids is that how you want your daughter to grow up? Do you want your daughter to be a slave to a man who makes her call him master? You do not need this man in your life. You can do better. Women don't have to put up with that crap! It's not the 1800's. You do not exist for the pleasure and use of men. You are an individual entity with qualities, talents, intelligence, and contributions to make to the world. GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE NOW!!!!! It is only going to get worse!!!
2007-07-23 14:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ilene W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I notice that you are new to Y/A. The question you ask, seems to be one that you asked just testing the water.
However I will give you a serious answer hoping it might help someone that finds themselves in a similar situation.
This is not new behavior, why did you allow this person in your life to begin with?
To demand this servile behavior from another, is abusive. and should never be tolerated.
Once again, if this really is occurring in your life, move out now! Their are many shelters for abused women. You will find safety, and guidance there.
2007-07-23 14:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by All-One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! Please tell me you are joking. That whole 'master' thing isn't cool in any context; even in relation to a dog and human. Give me a break... What would happen if you didn't do these things? Why are you so dependent on him that you would allow yourself to be disrespected in that way? If you're asking, you're obviously not comfortable in the situation.
2007-07-23 14:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by 07october 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... listen ..your relationship is not healthy at all.. he has no respect for you what so ever!!! If he truly loved you he wouldnt treat you as his servant. What you need is a man who shows you his love back .Him working thats not the way to show love to a person..If you respect and love yourself then you will leave him..You can take care of yourself you are not a baby find a job get your own place accomplish your dreams, and be free then youll trully be happy!
2007-07-23 14:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jamy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not, especially if you aren't comfortable doing it. You should ask someone professional about this really. It seems like he may feel good making you his own personal maid. You should definitely stop as it seems he is living out some sort of fantasy with you.
2007-07-23 15:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by Demongoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's insane!! I'd tell him to run his own bath water and dry his own self off! your his wife not his slave!! and as for calling him master and bow to his feet... I'd tell him to go f*ck himself!!!
i could see if this was in the bedroom you know a little roll playing or dominatrix but it's not... and no offense but your stupid for putting up with it!!
the next time he tells you that you can't say "no" to him or talk unless he tells you to.. tell him that it's our 1st amendment it's called freedom of speech!!!
don't you realize that your in a domestic violence relationship? he's mentally abusing you and emotionally.
get out and get out fast and don't look back!!
best of luck!!
2007-07-23 14:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're basically degrading yourself by being a slave to your "hubby". You should tell him that he cannot control you and treat you a piece of property, preferably in a room with many ways to escape in case he acts violently. Tell him this isn't the 1800s.
2007-07-23 14:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋