People with disabilities... How do you overcome rejection?

Question

Who do you do best with as your best friends? Did you at one point have to give some of them up, because they did not understand what you are feeling, and could not relate to your situation or pain ? Is it too much to ask of people without disabilities, to be your friend, when they are not disabled themselves. I am talking about not being to walk very well, nor fast? Please share, as my sister is very depressed right now.

She is married to a man for a long time, and he is very supportive to a certain extent. She needs friends, and has never had any problem. However, as her scoliosis has gotten worse and her pain, she is becoming more disabled, and she herself if just now feeling what it is like to be disabled. She walks with the walking sticks, and was a beautiful girl, and still is, but her depression is bringing her down, and now that her friends are passing her up on outings, and trips. Thanks for all your help, and God bless you. This is the first time we have had this discussion, and the first time she has addressed her disability.

Her husband is very passive aggressive and rather a down personality not up at all. He used to be a big shot banker, so he does not do anything for himself much socially. She has to have friends she says, or she would go crazy with him all the time. Know what I mean. He does a lot arond the house, he does have lots of money and takes her on trips, so I told her to go on trips with him, ugggg....

She wanted a dangerous operation so she would not have to be a burden to her husband and friends. The doctors told her it was too dangerous. It is where they put metal cages all around you spine. She has history of shaph infections, and is 65. Disabled people I am convinced are alone in their pain, and not many people who understand.

Answer 1

Giving up your friends because they didn't understand what pain that your'e going through is very hard and diffcult task to do but, if your able to do that then let me tell you that your a person who's in the right mind...

If they don't like you for you and they don't want to get to know you and they don't care about your feelings and end up saying mean disruptive comments then you know what who needs them at all...?

You might as well just be friends with Jesus then...
I hear he's more understanding than most of the human population and indeed it is very true...
And if your sister is still depressed after some quite a while then give her this will you?

Here it's my aim: ohanianimeangel and here's my e-mail too [e-mail]
So yeah contact me anytime since I am, mostly bored anyhow. So yeah just give a little notice okay?
And I hope that your sister is feeling better...
God bless!!

Answer 2

Find new friends if the old ones do not work anymore.Yes,I am saying give some of them up,if that is what it takes.
I cannot walk very fast or very well.The long walks that I used to take are now out of the question.I can still make it a few miles,but it crushes me.
I bump into walls a lot and I cannot take the heat very well.I hurt like blazes sometimes and I am still going downhill at this point.
Find the ones that will go to Burger King and things like that.
If they are ashamed to be with you,they are dispensible.
My disabilities are not visible,so to some people they do not exist.
That really gets me to drop them pretty quick.

Answer 3

My true friends often forget the fact that I am disabled. I am able to laugh at my limitations and they along with me. It is with people who are not my friends and do not know me or my abilities that I find offensive. Everyone has special abilities and other things that they are not so capable of doing. So in reality we are all disables somewhat it's just that on some of us our disability is more visable to the world. So inform your sister that things could always be worse and that she should be grateful that she is able to use her legs at all to walk as there are a lot of people without limbs and/or are in a lot worse off condition then she is. When I get feeling bad or sometimes sorry for myself this is the method I use to be grateful for what I have.

Answer 4

We have a good friend with Spina Bifida. He is in a wheelchair. We don't even see the chair. People with disabilities typically have poorer social skills, due to not "mingling" or being able to mingle with their peers. Your sister needs to stay involved. Church, school, community clubs, etc are great ways to do this. She shouldn't have to "ask" someone without disabilities to be her friend. It's like anyone else...if they want to be her friend they will be. She may need counseling. (She could probably get this free.) The counselor can help her overcome her fear of not belonging and help her gain confidence to seek out friendships. Also, have her (which she may have already done) check with the local REHAB Services dept. for assistance. God Bless...you are a great sibling!

Answer 5

I know what you mean I use a forearm crutch or sometimes a walking stick.Many people reject me thats why most of my friends are disabled.However some young gals like me.In our world we refer to them as Dev's or Admirers & TAB's.
Tell your sister join one of our clubs and move on with the rest of her life she might meet a nice man which could change everything.I am still looking you never know!

Answer 6

You said your brother-in-law is supportive "to a certain extent". I think he should be supportive all the way!!!. Doesn't he have friends w/wives?. where are they?. That is one place your sister could look to for support. But with a sister like you she is doing pretty darn well. Its no crime to consider family members your friends as well.

I have a buddy whose best friend is his younger brother.

Good luck

Answer 7

good question.
definitely God can help u the most with this.

Answer 8

listen to music