What do I do about my husband?

Question

Everything is wonderful and great. We are both so in love, and I can easily say our marriage is almost perfect...EXCEPT for one thing....He's so impatient with me!! Almost to the point where it kinda hurts my feelings. Like today, for example- he went to the gym, and I asked him how it went. He replied, "It was great!" Then he started talking about how he ran into one of his old friends and they were talking for a while. And I said, "Oh, you ran into him at the gym? What a small world!" And then it began-

He said, "Did I SAY I ran into him at the gym? Don't you ever listen to a thing I say? What are you, dumb?"

So I kept quiet- trying to think back if I had heard him mention exactly where he had ran into him, and I couldn't remember. I felt so stupid, and I didn't know what to say- except "sorry, I must've misunderstood you."
How do I ask him to be more patient? To not talk to me like that? I've tried to talk to him seriously- and he does try- but then it starts all over again!

I don't want a divorce- I just want the best way to handle the situation. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

Just the next time he says something like that you just say I am sorry for that but I misunderstood. You know I am listening to you and when you say things like that it hurts my feelings. That will probably make him feel bad because he hurt your feeling and you told him about it again, in a nice way. You just have to call his hand each time he does it for a little while and that's it. He will get it, you know that he is not meaning to be mean to you. He just thinks you are not listening or have something else on your mind. That's OK we all do that from time to time. Just make sure he knows that you are listening to him and that you feel bad when he does stuff like that, he will stop, you just have to keep on it for a little or he is likely to forget.

Answer 2

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.... you are obviously early in your marriage, and don't understand what's happening yet.

To love someone, you have to respect them first. And you have to be able to love yourself. You have neither.

No man who respects a woman would belittle her, or even intimate that she's "dumb". My IQ is about 158. I have 4 college degrees, including a Doctorate. My wife graduated from high school. I've never told her she's dumb, or even let her feel that way about herself. I constantly reassure her that I value her ideas and trust her judgement. I follow that with actions that prove it.

Your husband does not respect you, or he would not treat you that way. Period. A man who goes to the gym to buff up, then comes home to belittle his wife, has serious self esteem issues. He has to make himself seem "big". He does that by making you feel little. He does not love himself, or respect you. By definition, his attitude toward you is not love.

You also have low self esteem, or you would not tolerate being treated this way. You'd see emotional abuse for what it is, and refuse to accept it. You would never, ever call it love.

You are in the early stages of an abusive relationship. He's mostly charming right now, and many things are good. That's the con... the hook he's using to lure you in. It's "only" emotional abuse so far. It will follow with him making ever-increasing demands in order for you to retain his affection and approval. He will continue to make you feel "less" than him, and therefore whatever he demands you owe, and whatever he gives should be accepted by one who is "unworthy". He will make you more and more dependant over time; separating you from friends and family. He will make himself your only support system and make you pay a price for being such a burden.
Eventually, he will suck you dry. By then, without amazing courage or intervention from others, you will not have the resources; emotional, physical or financial, to leave.

Answer 3

mmmmmm, it sounds like your marriage is far from perfect. I mean if you think that your husband calling you dumb is something that is okay now and then. You have problems. Maybe you need to speak to someone about maybe improving your self esteem. It sounds like you have allowed your husband to talk to you like this for a long time and he is use to it.

It is not that he is impatient with you, he does not respect you. Until you are ready to stop this, he will continue to be little you. You two need some professional counseling and soon!

Answer 4

Careful of being sloppily in love and marriage. I love you sooooooo much crap. That shows being needy. I believe that people that get married, for the most part are needy anyway. Start being more independent and don't even inquire about his whereabouts if you can handle it. Do you want to be questioned about where you go and what you do? Love, but don't try and control, or you end up alone.

Answer 5

You teach people how to treat you and he is getting away with it so he continues to do it. Talk to him about it and inform him the next time he talks to you with out respect you will get up and leave the room, house, or what ever. Once you return, you will see if he can talk with respect to you. Show him that you are not going to allow him to talk to you in this way.

Answer 6

He's a typical male pig. The best thing for you is to get out of that prison your trapped in, and GET A DIVORCE!!

Sweetie, I know its hard for you to realize but he is abusing you. This happens to all married women and you need to get out. I'm an independent woman and it is the best thing for a woman. It empowers me, not degrades me like it would if I was married to a pig (man). APA studies prove that all married women recieve abuse from their husband.

Sweetie, PLEASE for your life ... get away from him. You don't need a man. You are a woman and we are better than pigs. Move on and live your life as an independent woman. Maybe this isn't what you wanted to hear ... but its the truth.

Answer 7

sounds to me like you are wrong about things going great. he has a short fuse and i have a feeling things are going to come to a head.

Answer 8

that's not love.. If someone loves you they should not speak to you in a disrespectful way... Love is patient and kind.. not rude and crude...

Answer 9

Hi! only God can change people, pray. prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives.....Jesus loves you

Answer 10

This is the first step for emotional and verbal abuse.