okay before I start please only serious replies !! I have a 5 month old baby and I love him like no other but I keep having bad thoughts like when I'm giving him a bath I imagine me just letting him slip into the water until he's dead. or when we went camping I imagined drowning him in the stream. I also have thought about holding a pillow over him head till he stops breathing. I don't know what wrong with me Im so scared I might really do it I've never thought about stuff like this with my other so. I'm scared to get help because I think they will take my boys away from me. please help me someone please! I dont want my kids taken away but I dont want to go thru with these morbid thoughts .
2007-07-23 12:26:55 · 20 answers · asked by blank 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Do you a have a trusted friend that you can talk to? I think you have some insecurities about being a parent, that are starting to come to the surface. I believe if you look in the telephone book, there are hotlines that you can call that are annoymous and confidential. You need to get these "demons" out before you hurt your precious little son.
2007-07-23 12:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a very scary time for you and the last thing you would want to do is panic. These thoughts can come from a variety of triggers. I personally don't believe you would hurt your baby purposely. Here are some things to do.
1. Look at why you are having these thoughts. Is something depressing happening in your life or has it happened?
2. Are there struggles in your life right now? I know everyone struggles but not everyone reacts the same way.
3. Did you want to have another child? I know that is an insensitive thing to say but honey a lot of people have no clue what they really feel.
4. Is there someone who can help you with day to day functions?
5. Are you spending unrequired quality time with them. This is doing stuff with them that you enjoy aswell.
6. How far apart in age are the children? Maybe you feel like you lost something and having another baby wont make it better.
Whatever it is honey I strongly suggest relaxing. When you are paniced and desperate you do the very thing you are trying so hard not to do. Get a journal. I know it sounds juvenile but it works. When there is no one there to talk to the pages actually do listen and care. That sounds strange but honey believe it. Think of the joy that your babies bring in your world. Just thinking of that smile and the little hands and feet. It will all get better. You should also get atleast 30 minutes of exercise per day. They boost positive hormones in your body and give more oxygen to your brain which is a healthy way to thinking clearly. My email address is Cheniora58@yahoo.com. I've been told I listen very well.
2007-07-23 12:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by Alexandria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your suffering from an illness. this illness is a result of the fact that you had a baby. a medical doctor can help you feel much better and put a stop to the thoughts you have been having.
you must go to a medical doctor and tell him or her all about your thoughts and feelings regarding the child. the doctor will not be shocked and will treat you with care and respect.
please do this today make an appointment and inform the office that this is a matter of great importance and that you must see the doctor either that day or the next at the very latest. you may see your family doctor or the obgyn for the intiail discussion regarding this matter . you will not loose your child you will at the most be sent to hospitail for an evalutaion and a short term stay to start you on some medications. your not alone doctors themselfs have had children and suffered from the same thoughts you are having now. i know that with medical care you can be put on the road to full health quickly and feel better very soon.
2007-07-23 12:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are suffering from an anxiety disorder. Many people with anxiety disorders have very disturbing thoughts that they can't seem to get rid of, just like you describe. Don't worry - no one will take your baby away and you won't hurt them. The best thing for you to do is get in touch with a good psychiatrist who will understand what you're going through. This is a very common disorder and they will know you aren't actually hurting your kids.
Also, in the meantime, one good thing you can do is stop letting the thoughts bother you so much. Say to yourself "I love my kids and I would never do that" and then let it go. The more you worry about the thoughts and let them bother you, the more they will come most likely.
Really, this seems a lot scarier than it is. Don't let the responses you get here make you panic - no one can take your kids away unless you are actually hurting them. Most people with this kind of disorder respond very well to treatment and recover quickly.
Good luck! My heart goes out to you.
2007-07-23 12:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by Katie W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet these thoughts just pop into your head and you feel like they weren't your idea and yet you know that they didn't come from some evil spirits or something. You know you wouldn't hurt your baby but they scare you and you wish they'd go away. They are called "intrusive thoughts" and it's a sign of post-partum mood disorder. Most women who have this don't end up hurting their babies or themselves but it's a very scary feeling.
You have done a very courageous thing to write this post. The next step is to call your dr first thing in the morning. Tell him/her you need to be seen the same day. You may want to fill out these quizzes and bring them w/ you as a starting point (http://www.postpartumstress.com/could_i_have_ppd.html). Or even just print out your original post and bring it. That will help you get the conversation started.
If you have someone you can trust, please tell them what's going on as well. You may want to start w/ having them read this wonderful article about it: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/06/AR2006030601145.html. See if he/she can come to your dr appt. w/ you, too.
Don't worry, your baby will not be taken away from you. You are not the first woman to have these thoughts and admitting them is the first step to getting help. This is a real thing that happens to women and it's not your fault. And the good news is, as awful as things seem right now, it WILL get better, if you get help. Some options may include counseling, getting connected w/ a support group, and/or meds. If you're breastfeeding, don't worry, there are meds that are safe to take.
If your dr doesn't take you seriously, find another one. You can and will feel better but please talk to someone right away.
2007-07-23 19:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by V. S.C. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, stop and breathe, when he starts crying just stop take a 10 second break then go see what he needs and when you are with him just talk to him let know that daddy will never hurt you and you also tell yourself that too and when you say it believe it and say it with proud and passion. I know because sometimes when I'm around my baby cousins sometimes I feel that way and I STOP and take a step back and I think about then I apply all of these steps and it makes you feel better.
2007-07-24 05:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Jalissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're really brave for asking for help, first of all. Secondly, I think you probably have postpartum depression after this child that you probably didn't have with the first.
My suggestion is to go see a therapist or doctor. Yes, they may take your children from you temporarily. But if you are having serious thoughts like this, it may be best. See if you can have them stay with a friend or relative until you get some help. It may just be bad postpartum depression, but you don't want to take that chance. Get some help and keep your kids safe. Good luck!
2007-07-23 12:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by still waiting 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should definitely get help. You need to find a therapist.. I don't know what they would do about your children because it depends where you live but I think that if you get help and they know you aren't thinking bad thoughts anymore then they would give you your kids back. I don't know but I think the well being of your children is the most important thing.
2007-07-23 12:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw a special about this once on 20/20. Talk to your Doctor or a psychiatrist. Tell them that you LOVE your son, and would never want to hurt him, but these thought just flash into your head, and although you would NEVER act on them you wanted to talk to a doctor. They will be able to help you and no one will take your baby away.
2007-07-23 12:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing relax and get in touch with a counsellor or a therapist, i know in Australia where i live they would not take your children, because you are addressing the problem before anything happens and for that you need to be applauded, it is very brave for you to speak out and i hope you get someone you can talk to it does sound like you have post natal depression, best of luck to you and your family.
2007-07-23 13:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by desiree g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋