What makes a good wife?

Question

I was told today that I wasn't up to "wife standards". What is a wife and how is one justified?

Of course I cook and clean. I take care of the bills and make sure the family needs are met everyday. I'm not asking about wife duties but what makes a good wife.
My husband said this to me and when I asked him how I wasn't up to wife standards what he met and all he would tell me was that he had to write it down. I haven't seen the list yet.

Answer 1

Why do you have to justify yourself?

Answer 2

I just have to say that "household chores" does not make a "good wife" in my opinion. At one time I truely believed that it was a womans place to stay home, raise the children, cook the meals and clean the house. No longer do I believe that. What exactly are "wife standards" all the things previously mentioned. If that is the case with your husband perhaps you don't meet his standards as he may or may not meet yours. I get very upset with my husband at times. I work full-time go to Nursing school full time am a wife and a mother. It's just not fair that because I have a vagina I'm the one that gets the raised eyebrow when the house is messy. Why can't men take some of the responsibility for the messy house. Why is it always the womans job. Why are we now expected to do both bring home the bacon AND fry it in the pan. Why can't men and woman share those roles?

Answer 3

A wife is a companion to go through life with. You both have to sit down and figure out what you both want out of the marriage. Do you both work? If you do then figure out who will do what in the household.
For instance- I work part time, take care of the kids, and go to school full-time. He works a stressful job 10 hours a day 5 days a week. He does a lot of paper work daily. So I pay the bills and check in with him on how we are doing periodically.
I hate to do dishes, He doesn't so he does the dishes. He hates yardwork, I love it. So I do it. I hate to fold laundry, but don't mind doing it. I wash he folds.I cook most of the times, because quite frankly we would eat burritos and spaghetti every single night, but on the nights I go to school he will make dinner for the kids and himself and leave some for me.
See what I mean?
If I didn't work or go to school I would probably do more, but being up to wife standards is all in the eye of the beholder. For my husband it is having someone who is looking out for his best interests. He does the same for me. We are partners.
Some men do expect women to do all the housework, take care of the kids, have dinner always waiting and so on...but if you don't want to be that and he won't budge you aren't going to be happy in the long run.

Answer 4

If your husband told you this, you both need to sit down and discuss what being a wife (and being a husband) means to the both of you. Find out what each of you expects from the other and try to find a middle ground (don't try to take on too much, your only human and remember- the idea of the "Supermom" died in the 60's). If it was a mother-in-law, or friend, pay NO attention- its NONE of their business.

Good luck

Answer 5

I think being a good spouse, husband or wife, is being able to put the other persons needs or dreams before your own. If someone is too self absorbed, then they are not going to be a good spouse. I don't think "wife standards" is what it used to be; cook, clean and sew. And what everyone wants in a spouse is different. Whom ever said that to you, is ignorant.

Answer 6

Being a wife involves being your husbands lover, friend, and confidant. In my relationship, I consider myself a good wife.
I am open to his needs, fullfil his happynesses, make him dinner, make sure the house is clean, this is my job. He has other jobs, he cooks on occasion, but for the most part I am the better cook, he does all the outside cleaning, and finances, and I do all the shopping.
Now what it is in your life that causes the other person to think you arent a good wife?
Maybe they want you to be able to do house hold things, cooking cleaning, ect, are you good at those?

Answer 7

Here is a general rule of thumb to follow -
People are not worth a spit -
Don't take any kind of advise from the rif raf that post here (male and female alike)
Use this type of forum to take a virtual leak on somebody else...because really.. they just don't care about anything other than stomping on you.
And for what you are going through - "wife standards" - Blow it off and move on. If you are married - I am sorry.

Answer 8

He sounds like an ***. Maybe you should tell him that he isn't the ideal husband! My husband expected me to basically dress him and wipe his *** when we got married. Now, he is more realistic. I do go out of my way to make sure he has what he needs though. Do something special for each other everyday. Eventually he will see you for what you are. If he doesn't, he's a jerk and you are better off without him. Good luck.

Answer 9

I don't know the standards but a wife is someone who loves their husband dearly and is willing to go thru what ever life throws at them but you get to do that with the person you chose to spend your life with. It also says in the bible. that whosoever findth a wife findth a GOOD THANG. :-)

Answer 10

Do you cook? Do you keep a nice house? Do you take care of business in the bedroom?

Answer 11

what everyone looks for in a wife, can differ.
can't say what you were "missing" that he wants.
don't worry about it, he's not that important then.