What should i do... :(?

Question

my fiancee and i want to get married... but my parents dont want me to, i'm 23 and my mom says im too young... i dont know if i;m being immature or maybe she's acting like that because my mom and my dad got divorced... i dont know what to do, i dont want my fiancee to feel bad that my parents dont want me to marry him... am i really too young? i'm graduating this october and we were planning to get married next year... any advice... thank youuu

Answer 1

You are an adult and it is your decision. In my opinion you are a little young, but at least you will be finished with school and don't have that to worry about.

Answer 2

It sounds like its not the fiancee that your Mum objects to, its getting married too young. Since she's divorced herself, she might be thinking more in terms of what she feels, rather than what you do. Did she marry young? Maybe she's afraid that you will make the same mistakes as she did, and end up divorced too. She wants to look after you, but may be seeing things through biased eyes.
Since you intend to wait until you have finished your studies, I can't see a problem with it, however, have you and your fiancee talked about the Big Things?
Like whether or not you are having children straight away? Or at all? Do you both want kids? And when? Have you talked about what you will do if you do have them? Will you continue working, or stay at home? Can you afford to? What happens to your years of study if you don't? Where do you want to live? Who controls the money, pays bills etc? Do you two agree on religion, work, money matters, etc? If his job involves moving would you want to move? Would he move for your job opportunity too? Have you even talked about those things?
If you haven't done this, now is the time to get it sorted out. Approach this in a mature way, work through your differences, find the middle ground where both can have something of what you need, and TALK.
Start as you intend to go on, open and aware of each others needs and wants, then you stand a good chance of making it through.
If its too hard to do that now, then Mum is right, you need to wait. If you can, and are BOTH WILLING, then you are ready.

Answer 3

23 doesn't seem all that young... You also seem very calm about it and not rushing anything. If you rush things, it will all fall apart. My parents got married when they were 25 and had me at 27, and they ended up getting divorced. You can plan your wedding if you aren't already, and that can go for a year if it isn't rushed. Even for planning, maybe wait until you graduate. That way it won't interfere with school.
Do your parents not want you to marry him or do they think you're just too young? It might not be him himself, but the age you're at. Don't feel bad. If YOU love him, that's all that matters, right?
Definitely wait until you graduate to start planning anything. Next year sounds okay, but if your parents still think it's too young, ask how old isn't too young. If you feel you're ready, go ahead. You're an adult now, you don't need your parents' permission for everything :)

Answer 4

Honestly, I think by age 23 you are old enough to make your own decisions. Some people may be too young at this age to marry, but then again, there are others that are extremely mature and they make their marriages work. I say if you two are in love you just have to prove to your parents that you two are responsible enough to get married and show them that their being on board with it is really important to you. Eventually they'll come around.

I got married at 21 and am going on 2 years already and we are great. I can't say for sure that it'll last forever, though I know in my heart it will, but I know that I am happier now than I have ever been.

Good luck with the whole thing.

Answer 5

If you are planning on spending the rest of your life with him then what's the hurry to be married? Your mom just wants whats best for you. She may be trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes she may have made. Also, life changes after school... you may want to take some time to settle into your working lives together before getting married. What would it hurt to wait another year or two? You will only get to know each other better and be more sure about the life long commitment you will be making. I have seen enough people rush into marriage and then rush right into divorce. Take your time and do it right.

Answer 6

this is your life,your parents should be standing beside you on this,just because your parents are divorced,doesn't mean you will be,your mom just don't want to see you get hurt,but this is yours and your fiancee decision,not your moms or your dads,my parents are divorced and so aren't 4 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers,you would think the cards are stacked against me,but my husband and i just celebrated 25 years of marrage,i married him i was 18,and i love him even more then i did when i was 18,so you do what your heart tells you ,you and your fiancee can make your own dreams come true,don't worry your parents will come around,i wish you and your fiancee the best of luck

Answer 7

I don't think there's a right age to get married as long as your relationship is healthy and stable. It is better that you wait until after you finish school. From my mom's perspective you will always be her baby and no one will ever truly be good enough for you to marry. I'm 25 and was married at 19 for 3 years things didn't work out (due his issues), in a way though I'm glad a got "getting married and having a dream wedding" out of my system. Now I know what I want from a relationship and don't have to rush it. Do what makes you happy. Your relationship is you and him , not you, him and your mom. =)

Answer 8

your not too young your mom probably doesnt want you to make the same mistake she did and how long have you been together its a good idea to live together first I know I know the people are prob gonna give me crap for that one but you should see what it is like living with him because that is the main obstacle to get over you are 23 if you were like 18 I would understand but come on I am 25 and have 3 kids and going to college and she is not your boss just show her that you are serious about it and your going through with it no matter what and she should aventually accept it and be supportive just let her know that you need her moral support and blessing.Good luck and Congrats!!

Answer 9

This is your life, you are old enough to make your own decisions. If you know your fiance is the one, then get married. Your parents are just worried that the marriage will fail, of course reguardless of your age they are going to think you are not ready. Its because they don't want to see you going thrue a divorce just like they did.
I am 28 and my mother still says I am making a bad mistake, but this guy I am with completes me in every way possible, how could that be wrong.
Only you know if you are making a right decision, invite them to the wedding, and I am sure they will give in and support you.
Best of luck!

Answer 10

Honestly, as long as you're in love with your fiance and you feel like you have your life in order, no one should be claiming that you are too young.

You're obviously not rushing into this. You seem level-headed and mature.

You need to tell your mom exactly that. Let her know that her blessing means the world, but that you are an adult. You have been one for 5 long years now. You've been to school, you've met the man you want to marry, and the next natural step is to marry him. Hopefully she will respect that and come to her senses, most loving mothers would!

Good luck!

Answer 11

You're not too young, loads of people get married in their early 20's. Given the fact that you're planning to get married next year, that'll show your mum that the relationship is strong enough to last even after graduation. I agree that your mum is probably acting like that because of her own personal experience.