4 thumbs down? what chance will that baby have to grow up with a dead beat father and a 14 year old girl who barely got her period 1 to 2 years earlier? I don't think how heart wrenching it would be for her to give it up to a stable home, all I think about is that baby's future.
2007-07-23 10:35:15 · 17 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
For the same reason you see the "congrats" at the end of all the "Could I be pregnant" questions.
Congratulations just *might not* be what the person is thinking they need to hear. In many cases it's probably more like "OH CRAP! Now what do I do?!?"
Hard fact of life: not everyone who gets pregnant wants to experience the "miracle" of giving birth & motherhood, particularly if she's 14, 15, 16 years old.
2007-07-23 10:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by Dingus M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretty obviously, one need not be married to have children; and perhaps "old fashioned morals" are just that? Beyond that thought however; the statistics about divorce seem to be an exponential trend. Apparently too, there are no disclaimers strong enough, written or otherwise, in a "Contract"....even Marriage Vows, that guarantee anything.
Somewhere in the history of this; also exists some NON parental involvement with the 14 year old. Part of the issue however deals with how WE as a society JUDGE others and their ability to care for, or at the very least be supported by family or loved ones, in caring for a child. Certainly that young lady is barely away from childhood herself, and hopefully there is a support structure in place. An even more disheartening statistic is that by the time she is 30, she may have 6 children, and perhaps be state, and Federally supported,,,and Guess What... That too seems to be an acceptable trend in this day and age.
I'm a parent of 3 adopted children; all from the same biological mother and different fathers. I can't imagine, as a male, the fear involved in being a 14 year old, pregnant female; nor can I know her peripheral situation. I have no idea or belief that at 14, SHE has any intent to marry, and certainly in the USA any assumed Father would be/could be, charged with statutory rape IF he isn't a minor. No offense to you, but to say Dead Beat assumes more than you might strictly know. Obviously if the male in question is an "adult" there are issues. Also obvious is, that the OOOPS factor is evident here. Therefore I can't strictly judge it. Without going anywhere near any religious or morality issues It may be that your opinion wasn't shared because of the general thinking of society on the planet, in 2007? Certainly people begin engaging in sexual activity earlier in life than they may have 50 years ago...OR... Is it that we just HEAR about it more often?
From the standpoint of an adopted child...no matter how loving their adoptive family is; the trauma, once learned; of being GIVEN UP' is a life long situation; even if no guilt is applied. Beyond that, WE can't truly know anything about the future stability of any adoptive/// or Keeper situation. STUFF happens on negative levels in biological families too.
With no offense to you at all,,, I wonder something. Did you happen to check other answers? Might you have been able to determine some age group who did answer? Some gender? I wonder too why someone would come to yahoo Q&A to ask "What should I do?" Especially in a case like that.
You aren't alone by the way, in your thinking; and whether or not many others share your empathy; it might be a better course of action to avoid those questions.
Just one old Dad's opinion.
2007-07-23 11:08:02 · answer #2 · answered by DIY Doc 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because people are romantics, they think there should be a happily ever after for every situation. You were right, that baby would probably be a welfare baby and that's not shameful, what is shameful is denying that child a chance at college and a life where she's not perpetuating the welfare fate for her children. That baby would have better chances with adults who can give her everything it needs to follow it's dreams. Yes there are rare occasions where teen moms actually do great...it's called Television. This isn't The Gilmore Girls it's real life.
2007-07-23 15:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by puddlejumper66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrg! It's the anti-adoption theme that going around. The fact that you are suggesting separating the mother from the child would be the main reason for the thumbs down. Don't get me wrong, she should be doing what's best for the child and in this case it giving it up, but that's not what people think of when you say adoption. (forgive the Arrg! my three year old son wants me to be a pirate for the rest of the day matey!)
2007-07-23 10:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by idahoarchmage 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
SHAME on you for advising her to give it up. This unplanned child has enough to overcome. Yes, the father may well be a "dead beat" but if this pregnant, 14 yr. old child has a loving and accepting family then the unborn baby has something many 2 parent families are lacking. It takes a loving and understanding family and relatives to raise any child. How can you say that the grandparents won't provide the love and stability needed. If my teen daughter came home and announced she was pregnant and the father was out of the picture, there would be no questions asked, that baby would receive all the love I could possibly give, why penalize an unborn child for a mistake, instead say a prayer for the baby and then Thank God for his gift.
2007-07-23 10:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by canuck1950 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I understand where you're coming from with your response to give the child up for adoption. But I know several people who became mothers when they were teenagers and actually ended up being good parents. It may have been a bumpy start and it might have been an accident, but these kids from teen mothers can still have a chance at a good life.
2007-07-23 10:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by Sonya 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is but this girl has to deal with what she did and take care of the baby. Everyone thinks differently. A lot of kids grow up with dead beat parents, and the baby still survives in this rough world.
2007-07-23 10:39:09 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
are you adopted? I was
were you in the foster care system? I was
do you have any idea the agony of not knowing why they were unwanted most adopted children go through? I do
You assume that adopted children are exempt from abuse and terror....you are wrong
by assuming that everyone who would adopt(or foster) would LOVE the child like their own, you make an a$$ out of your self.
You claim to be concerned for the Baby's future....cool so am I.
how many foster children started out as available for adoption but were never adopted?
how many children in the foster system get abused every year?
And as far as a deadbeat father....so what there are lots of those around age doesn't matter.
that's why you may have received thumbs down...adoption is the answer pro lifers throw out because it is easy for them.....but not the child
in my experience
2007-07-23 10:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I completely agree with you. I suggest pregnant women that age to give the baby up for adoption. It would be very difficult for every one involved if she kept the baby and attempted to raise it. Sometimes they just don't see the bigger picture and are selfish.
2007-07-23 10:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you haven't any longer incredibly clarify why you do no longer want to offer it beside the super obtrusive it will be the toughest element you will ever ought to do because it will be a piece of you. the stable element now a days you have a gamble at an open adoption visits even. i might have want to have a youthful birthmom such as you. I continuously imagined my birthmom may be a youthful youngster who knew she had to greater of her newborn 2 parnets, superb domicile, stable possibilities, good environment, and so on. Please, Please are not getting me incorrect i think of while you're making up your concepts somebody can do what they set their minds too it is going to easily be greater durable. anyhow I envision her coming over for holiday journeys, birthdays, and so on. incredibly the youngster understanding the birthmom and it wouldnt be a super deal. For me no longer what I have been given yet i'm chuffed and he or she is chuffed. because of unusual issues we bypass to as quickly as a twelve months I deliver her letters and %. and communicate via e mail. Birthfather is likewise in touch even with the undeniable fact that no longer inclusive of birthmom anymore. He bypass to as quickly as a twelve months and get in touch with on birthdays and holiday journeys. the better section is you get to go with what you go with and choose by retaining the toddler or giving it up for adoption. desire that helped a sprint. you're in simple terms so youthful and you're giving up distinctive your destiny, aims, and issues you will possibly miss by retaining a newborn. stable success
2016-09-30 13:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋