I am 26, my ex is 32, he and I shared 4 years together. we broke up 7 years ago but we have remained close friends. We hardly see eachother since we now live about 400 miles away but we talk on the phone and every now and then he comes to my city to visit me. he has been dating this lady for about 1.5 years and ever since she heard about me she was totally jealous and doesnt like him to see me or talk to me ever. i dont like that he lies to her and sneaks me around her like im his dirty little secret. there is nothing going on between us. we love and care about each other but only as friends.
my question for all of you chickas out there is why is this lady still so jealous of me? and why does he still act as though he doesnt talk to me?
Actually my real question is.. if you ladies had a boyfriend and he still talked to his ex on a friendly basis would you act this way? and why? I need to see it in her point of view since ive never dated anyone who kept in contact with their ex
2007-07-23 10:23:12 · 6 answers · asked by SecretSquirrel 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
my opinion on why she doesn't like the two of you hanging: She is jealous because it's a part of his life that was very substantial to him, and she was not a part of it. She probably doesn't like the fact that she feels like she has to compete w/ you (doesn't make much sense I know). She may feel like she's being compared to you in the relationship. It could also be that she feels like you and him cannot be JUST friends because you were together for so long.
my opinion on him sneaking around behind her back... BOGUS... That will just lead to more suspicion on her part, if there is nothing going on then he should be able to be honest w/ her. I understand he probably doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but it will hurt her more in the long run. If she really loves him, she'll understand. He shouldn't do that to you either, why should he cause conflict between you and his new g/f. Not fair to anyone.
If I were you I would try to set up a time that you could go out w/ them so she can see that it's nothing more than a friendship. I know this is probably difficult seeing the distance, but I honestly think it would ward off her jealousy.
2007-07-23 10:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by chellybelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are sometimes jealous of "ex's" because at one point the ex was where they are now. Most of it comes from insecurities within themselves. Maybe because you both are still so close she feels left out. Have you ever thought about maybe meeting her or talking to her? That would let her know that you are a good person and your friendship with him is just that~friends. I know that I am still really good friends with my ex. His current wife was jealous of our relationship for a while and still has her moments, but we are all able to get along and we all sometimes hang out together. He is acting like he isn't speaking to you to keep peace in their relationship. Men don't handle confrontation well and will do whatever it takes to keep from arguing with a woman. Good Luck!!
2007-07-23 10:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by SweetSassa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would only get POed with my hubby if he was lieing to me. I think that ie's okay to have female friends, but when you lie about it, then you cross a line that to me, is as close to cheating as you can get without actually cheating.
You also need to understand that you don't know what he is actually telling this girl. Does he talk about you alot? Sing your praises (ie: My Best Friends Wedding....)
Could you speak to her? Expalin YOUR side of things.... I am willing to bet that the reason she is upset is because she KNOWS that she is being lied to, but he wont fess up.
2007-07-23 10:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, heres my opinion. honestly im not really a jelous person.. so if my guy went to talk to his ex.. thats fine as long as he told me because i wouldnt like him sneaking behind my back either. And if you notice like 76 percent of all girls are jelous and protective over their man..so another woman comes along, especially their ex..their going to put their shield up.. don't worry about her.. just tell him how you feel.. be like i loev and care abotu you AS FRIENDS and if she cant get that through her thick skull then too freakin bad.
2007-07-23 10:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by Very Very. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shes probably jealous because ur the ex and there was sex, so usually when exes talk or get together its for a good time, shes insecure.
2007-07-23 10:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by califababy25 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ussually someone who keeps in contact with an ex and says'We're just friends" is ussually more than just friends.
2007-07-23 10:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋