Aren't You Missing Something?:
My hands slide down your back
In an expecting manner.
Confusion falls upon me and I ask:
"Aren't angels supposed to have wings?"
2007-07-23 10:12:26 · 5 answers · asked by The "Shady" Boyfriend 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
That was cute. Kind of sounds like bad pick-up line. But it was really cute.
2007-07-23 10:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by I ♥ Caydence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Others have noted the cheesy pick-up line element to the poem, but what really weakens the poem is the rush to expectation between the speaker and the speaker's cause for confusion. Pick-up lines are short and compact due to the fact that you need to make a 'fast' impression. Good poems don't usually work that way.
In seduction, its about enlongation, extension, a prolonging of the tension, so that the denoument (the moment where the climax of the emotion is reached.) If she truly is an 'angel' in disguise, why be in rush to let the suprise of it out so early? Don't just let the speaker's hands slide down the back, let the hands explore, let the reader feel their seeking, both as a device of conveying closeness within the moment between the two and as a payoff later when the 'seeking' is revealed for what it is.
When you rush the experience, it feels false and flattering, instead of sincere and complementing.
2007-07-23 12:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda cheezy but cute nontheless.
2007-07-23 10:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by lily_evans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww....that's so sweet! Say it to her in person, preferably alone, it'll mean so much more to her. You sound like a great dude. Keep doing you!!!
2007-07-23 10:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you saw "Dogma" you would know that angels don't have genitalia, so be careful what you wish for.
2007-07-23 10:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋