Need Marriage Advice?

Question

I have been married for 2 years and my husband and I love each other very much. I have a job that requires I am social a few days of the week. This used to not bother him but recently he has become upset that I go out without him a few times a week. He has also become suspicious that I am doing something bad (ie. cheating on him). I am not cheating on him and I am making new friends and like having more to my life than just work and home. I love being with my husband too so I am confused why he is starting to be upset with me and sneak around looking into my phone at my txt msgs..I have nothing to hide. What do you think I should do? I ask what is wrong and he wont talk to me.

Answer 1

the main thing might be since you are going to do the social thing are you paying him enough attention? ie. sex? men are simple give them sex and they are happy. when you were dating did you? and when you first got married did you? so now it is not as important as it once was huh?

let him come home to you in something sexy and go from there or meet him at the door naked.... act like you did before you got married.

Answer 2

Hun, sometimes you have to just open up and let your spouse know what is up. Invite and let him see what your routine is to provide some comfortability. If you have nothing to hide let him look in the phone. It will not kill you. It just shows him how confident you are in your relationship. The other thing is that talk to him. Just address the issue calmly ask him why he feels the way he feels, when he used to be okay? You can also approach the situation by letting him know that you do not feel uncomfortable about him going out without you because your love is so strong. You do not have a reason to look in his phone. Ask him if he feels like your relationship is lacking something? The other thing is that when you address this issue be very calm and understanding as not to escalte the talk. Ask him if he has found anything that leads him to believe that you are cheating? Ask him why does he think you are cheating? This allows him to direct the conversation and still keep his manhood. Talk, arguing gets you no where. Offer a solution. When you are out then he can go out and yall can meet up have a meal together. Do not make the place you go to off limits, matter of fact invite him and his crew. It may even spice up the sex life a little bit, you know to meet up, unknown guy meets unknown girl and yall hook it up. Sometimes you have to ease your hand out the lions mouth or find a way to sooth his ego trip almost like kids. Be truthful and tell him how you feel. Let him know that sometimes you feel a need to do something other than work and then home. It just allows you to breath and miss him a little so when you come home to him you are not frustrated all the time and bitchy about the day. He is your something special and your are not trying to overwhelm him either. You want him to be free to do things too. Then there is nothing like bragging to the girls that your man is comfortable with the idea of you going out and coming home and you all counsel each other about woman things like pretty panties or a new massage oil or a new perfume.Let him know this. It is just he does not understand. Sometimes you have to just open their eyes by making it seem like it is about them, when you are actually trying to just keep the peace so you can do you .

Answer 3

If you want your marriage to work , I really believe that you and your hubby have to sit down and work something out here. Whether is is for you to take him with you or maybe cut back on socializing - I do not know. He sounds very insecure about it though. If he won't talk about it - you have to make him understand how important it is to talk to you. I understand that this is your job but you are married now and his feelings have to come first. Did you have this job before you were married? Also - put yourself in his place - wouldn't it make you feel uneasy if he was staying out 2 or 3 nites a week? You may have nothing to hide but still - it is making him uncomfortable. In a marriage it is not good if someone is uncomfortable with something their spouse is doing. You said you love him very much - well if you do you have to come to some kind of a compromise. Good luck.

Answer 4

it might just be that your being gone is hard for him.

If he is not ok with your job then you may want to talk it over with your husband, and consider doing something else. A job isn't worth fighting over. Nothing is. Really. Allow him to lead at his own pace. If you ask him something give him time to answer. It normally takes men a good 10 minutes sometimes before they can figure out how to respond. It's obvious that things are bothering him, if you ask him and then give him time - it should come out - but you have to be patient with him. MEn aren't women and women need to quit interacting with men like they are women and expecting men to act like women - and just because you feel something doesnt' mean it's true. It's obvious his attitude stinks but you have to find out what the real reason is and don't just make assumptions. Maybe he just feels left out and lonely - I think that's how I'd feel, and maybe that's all it is. Don't read more into things than is being said.
He's obvious insecure, so find out what the deal might be. patiently.

If he's not talking to you - that's a bad sign.
real bad.

You need to show respect for your husband at all times - not just when you think he deserves it. There should never be a time that you don't show your husband respect, or show respect for his authority. If you have even one time failed to show respect for him then you need to confess that to him and ask his forgiveness. He has his faults but that's a separate thing.

If he expressed that he didn't want you to do this job and you did it anyway then he probably feels that you don't respect what he thinks about things. I have no idea. I'm not there, I don't know you.

Answer 5

Well i guess I can say I am that way with my husband, but he is not at work he is out with the boys 4 days a week all of a sudden, I feel that he doesn't want to come home. Maybe he feels that way? But you just need to tell him that it involves work, and also you need time to have fun, but there is also a limit to how much fun. Call him when your out ALWAYS!! And try to come home early when you can!!

Answer 6

Start asking him to go with you. Sounds like he is feeling left out and there is nothing wrong with taking him with you to dinner or drinks. Not only will he see you are doing nothing but, is not being left out also he will be making new friends too. You can also make the nights you go out special in some way to let him know you missed him and wanted him there.....good luck

Answer 7

Once or twice every other week or so is no big deal anything more than that can be a problem.
However, sounds like he may be the one who may be doing something behind your back, with his posessive behavior.
This is really a very open ended post with a lack of detail, who the hell knows.

Answer 8

He has become insecure for some reason, and the only solution is to get him to talk with you about how he's feeling and why. You could let him know how much his behaviour is upsetting you, and suggest marriage counselling since he seems to be unwilling to open up to you on his own.

Answer 9

I have never heard of a job requiring you to be social a few times a week! He is upset cause you go with out him and maybe just maybe he wants more of your time! Stop being so selfish of your own needs you married him! You need to think of your husband as well!

Answer 10

Perhaps he feels left out because you still have social life outside of the relationship. Does he have friends he goes out with? I suggest you to schedule "date nights" for you both to spend more quality time together.