i found back one of my friend when i was living oversea ...we never had anything betwen us.now i am married .... and he comes for work or to see his daugher in the city where i am living. and we would like to see each other after 5 years .i would like to tell my husband if he would like to meet him with me but knowing how my huby is ,so jalouse .he will say no or maybe he will say yes but gonna have an attitude the whole time we all be 2gether. so my friend is coming to bring back his daugther pretty soon and ..i think for that week my husband will be out of town i not sure.so i was wondering should i meet my friend without telling my husband? but then i would like to feel free to tell my husband ,cuz the guy is just a friend nothing else and he knows i love my huby and my kids. now i dont know what i should do. do you think if i dont tell my husband its like i am cheating on him.... i am not the type that likes to do things secretly. if there is nothing wrong why not tell.
2007-07-23 09:47:57 · 24 answers · asked by carmel d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
long time ago my husband had a coworker that used to hand around us quite often.i saw her like just a friend as he told me.but by playing th eman that is honest and let his wife meet his femal efriend,he played me ,,,i found out that he was messing around with her...but she did not want to have sex with him for my respect cause she said i was a nice cool person i did not deserve that. NOW THE THING IS ,I AM NOT LIKE HIM... THE GUY IS JUST A FRIEND I WANT TO TELL MY HUSBAND TO MEET HIM WITH ME BUT IN MY HEARTH KNOWING MY HUBY HE PROBLY WILL SAY NO! AND I WILL NEVER SEE MY FRIEND AGAIN. THEN I DONT WANT TO TROW THE PAST AT MY HUBY ABOUT THAT GIRL CAUSE I TRUSTED HIM AND NOW THE PERSONS THAT REALLY NEED TO BE TRUSTED HERE ITS ME. BUT GOD ONLY KNOW IF HE SAYS NO I WILL MEET HIM SOON OR LATER. BY MY SELF ,HEY I TRYED TO BE HONEST WITH BUT HE FORBIDED ME TO SEE HIM AND HE NEAITHER WANTED TO GO WITH ME.
2007-07-23 10:26:03 · update #1
If you have no feelings for this man than you shouldnt worry about telling your husband. It's kind of like running into an old friend in the store and having a bite to eat with them. Its better to avoid conflict in a marriage in order for it to work. If you feel guilty about meeting him than there is obviously some feelings in this meeting. If he is just a friend, than dont worry about it.
2007-07-23 09:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well i can tell you this: If you tell/ask your husband about meeting this guy it is going to cause soooooo many problems! WHY? Because your husband has cheated on you and he is secretly waiting for you to pay him back by cheating on him. He is not going to trust you telling him "hes just a friend" because hes already used that lie. The worst part is that even if you sit down with him and try to talk to him about it calmly and ASK what he thinks it will still be a disaster and you wont go meet your friend and it will all be for nothing!!! So...you either do it secretly or dont do it at all. That decision is up to you.
2007-07-23 10:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The conditions in which your daughter in law grew up, seems she doesn't have the social skills to know what to tell, what not to tell, to who and when and how. Most couples tell each other a lot. I tell my husband most everything. But the one out of line here is your son really, and I think you being the mom should have told your son directly that he is looking greedy by asking people for too much for HIS baby. Even if people offer....
2016-05-21 03:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a recipe for disaster. I think it would be wrong of you to see this friend without your husband knowing. Even if theres nothing going on between the two of you, by hiding it you're giving off a sneaky feeling which is not good at all.
Your husband may disagree but you need to let him know that its important to you to see your friend after so long. I just think that if you dont tell him and he finds out down the road, its not going to be nice.
2007-07-23 09:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
In the words of Dr. Phil, "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing." There's nothing wrong with having a friend who happens to be a male. Tell your husband just what you've told us. Think about what would happen if your husband caught you with this guy and you had lied about it. It would look very suspicious and could really hurt your relationship for no reason. It's not worth it. Tell the truth and it won't come back to haunt you.
2007-07-23 09:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by Kathryn 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Go and see your friend. You aren't doing anything wrong by doing that and don't tell your husband. He does not need to know every damn thing you do.
However, make sure this is the last time you see your friend without your husband not knowing, do not make a practice out of this.
If you get intimate with your friend at all you just changed the whole complexity of this situation and for the future.
You're a big girl, act like one.
2007-07-23 09:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like your looking for trouble. You yourself said your husband is the jealous type. Unless your looking to give him reasons to argue. I say no way. And if your going to do this tell him first. If he finds out you have been seeing a male friend secretly behind his back. While he has been away. Well whatever comes next you sort of asked for.
2007-07-23 09:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
if there is nothing wrong why tell...because by sneaking to see a guy that right there is something wrong. Bottom line is, if you want to see your old friend..invite your hubby along..if hubby says you can go alone, fine. If not, thre is no reason why you cant talk to your friend on the phone or through email.
2007-07-23 09:55:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Don't listen to the prudes!!! If he is just a friend and nothing is going on you need not tell hubby anything he has the problem not you by being so jealous so you can't trust to tell him he evidently don't trust himself and takes it out on you... I bet you would be surprised what your hubby does not tell you..married couples do not!! tell their partners everything and any one who says different is in denial and full of ****.
2007-07-23 10:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You do not need to tell your husband everything all the time but with this circumstance I would tell him before he gets the wrong idea and it causes harm to you marriage.
2007-07-23 09:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by wkemrer 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋