I want to tell my bf that iam not happy with the sex (he comes too fast ALWAYS) i havent said anything becuase i dont want to hurt his feelings...How should i tell him???
2007-07-23 09:35:15 · 36 answers · asked by Jennifer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Since both parties should be satisfied when it comes to sex, you need to have a gentle conversation. Don't necessarily say "You come too fast'. That would be offensive. When you are having sex and you notice he is speeding up, say something like "I know the orgasm is good, but let's spend some time enjoying the moment."
2007-07-23 09:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's really standard by gender as we've been led to believe. I've known guys who were very chaste and didn't get sexually involved unless they were in serious relationships and I've known girls who will leave a guy if the sex is bad or isn't frequent enough. I think most guys probably would turn down a sexless relationship, but I think that this is due more to social norms today that biological imperative. In previous times men had to court women and had no chance of getting laid at least until a proposal was made and they didn't explode from sexual tension. But we are more open today and men are used to sex being a normal part of an adult relationship. I really don't think that men "need" sex any more than we do, many of us have very high sex drives too, it's just that it's necessary for us to be more cautious about sex because we have more to lose. Don't feel bad about being a virgin. Those of us who aren't usually have at least a few regrets too. It's better to be a virgin that have an std, or an unwanted pregnancy, or a just a really negative experience. You'll find someone soon.
2016-05-21 03:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think no matter what there is never an easy way to say something like that. One thing for sure is that do not harrass him about it. Don't say something like "I have to tell you something, You suck at sex" something like that does not work well. I would rather used the suggestion method. Say I love having sex but it would be wonderful if it lasted a little bit longer. He will give you a dirty look but what else is there to do.
There is also the starit out approach. Say, "hun I want you to last longer in bed, so, I want to practice tonight some techniques I learned." Say it just like that. It will confuse the hell out of him because #1 he will realize that he doesn't last long enough but #2 he is getting some tonight and that always makes a guy happy.
If you take the above mention approached then you will have to research some techniques. There are various things he can try. The most important is to learn to know himself. If he feels he is on the edge then stop the act. Remember this is "training". Another trick is that whe he resumes the act chance to a different position. Some position makes a guy last longer or shorter. It will depend on the guy so you will just have to try different things. My favorite technique is the reverse situp. By this I mean is like doing a situp or crunch but it is the lower part of the body that comes to the upper part not the upper part to the legs. It will look just like your regular sex trust. The thing is that if you do the movement right it will feel like you are doing crunches. At some point his stomach wil tire and it will start to hurt a bit. It is not painful. Is the same feeling as doing a bunch of situps. The discomfort will distract him and will make him last longer.
Lastly another trick is to have you satisfy you first. For example, we can play with you like oral sex, the use of the hand and what not until you are happy. Then and only then is regular intercourse allow. It works pretty good because you will already be happy and the rest is a bonus. It will be good for him because after the first part you will be so sensitive that no matter what he does he will get god reactions from you which will boost his ego.
Lastly practice practice practice. Actually the more you practice the better not only because you get better at it but also because he will desensitise himself. So is not so much about when but how much time in between has passed.
Anyways, keep the communication lines open. Say what you like and what you don't like. Thats what my wife did with me. She pretty much told me how to operate the machinery and I took it from there.
2007-07-23 09:54:57 · answer #3 · answered by mr_gees100_peas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's probably because he's still young and too inexperienced (and not smart enough) to know that if you are going to keep having sex with him, he needs to please you and not just himself!!!!!!!
I know it's a learning process, trust me. My husband and I have been married 16 yrs. and the sex for me didn't get really good until about a year ago. After we got through the little kid stage and actually had time to be together more, I started telling him what I really wanted. Not just him getting off real fast, but lots of foreplay for me too and me getting pleasure too.
You just have to communicate with him and tell him what you want. That's the only way he will know what you want. You have to tell him when , where, how , why and how long to do what you like. You can also prolong his "finishing off" by YOU taking control and stopping each time before he cums and making him wait longer and longer. And in the meantime, you get what you want too!!!! Now sex lasts for several hours for us and it's awesome!!!! (Lots of prolonging him makes him nuts!!)
2007-07-23 09:43:43 · answer #4 · answered by veebeedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can get him to almost climax and then stop him from it then he'll be able to last a little longer. Every guy is different so foreplay may make him climax sooner, he can also work on you before the actual intercoarse and get you to that point so when you start on eachother you can climax together. You have to tell him what you like and don't like. Great sex takes effort sometimes. But don't forget it's just sex don't take it too seriously so have fun with it!
2007-07-23 09:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont tell him. When you and him are going at it, get off of him from time to time so that he cannot have an orgasm too quickly. Guys are eager to please a woman in bed. Just show him what you like and he will read your signals. You can take his hand and put it where you want it and tell him how good that feels. Teach him what you want. They always want to know. But do not flat out tell him that he comes too fast. You can tell him that you would like it nice and slow and it feels so good that you want it to last for a nice long time. Something like that would help as well. Have him tell you when he is about to climax. Then make him pull out. Simply tell him that you want him to wait before he does.
2007-07-23 09:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A selfish sex partner would be crushed. As would a male with size to be desired in the member. A lover or someone that loves you would take heed and attempt to approved. A man would analyze his capabilities and your wants and be big enough to admit he may have to let you go. A fling won't give a damn
2007-07-23 09:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by R W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take control. Do things your way. Make him understand what you want. ... how? easy...
Have him come over one night and tell him you have a suprise.
When he gets there have a nice meal waitting for him... BEEF is high in different chemcals that will help boost his... um.. ego lol yea thats it.
After dinner you leave and get changed into a semi erotic outfit... then call all the shots.. tell him what to do and how... make it last by making him wait.
2007-07-23 09:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by Texas Tiger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, for starters that could be a major blow to his ego. you've got to utilize a little tact in a situation like that. i've had problems with the "too fast thing" as well. let him know what works for me: slower deep thrusts, masturbating as little as possible(makes the penis less sensitive), climax control condoms(they give you all the sensation but delay orgasm). and this is going to sound crazy but i find that i can last much longer if i'm really tired. my peak performance times are like 3.a.m. or early in the morning when i wake up.
good luck to the both of you
2007-07-23 09:41:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't criticize but ask if he could hold out longer or what can you do, to help him hold out? Don't say "you climax too fast and I don't like it" as that'll put him on the defensive at the very least...
Make it something the two of you can work on together...along with any other suggestions either of you have for improving your "play" time.
2007-07-23 09:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋