ever since i got pregnant and my man would touch my breast i hated it b/c he was too rough and they where so sensiive so now after 8 months evr since my baby was born i hate when he even gets close to them i mean he'll touch them slowly and i would still hate him touching them (i wsant like that before my baby) (i dont breast feed) i just hate the fact that he touches them wether its soft or rough,why????
i also have no sex drive (im very atracted to him he is so cute) and im tired of it. i never intitial sex or love makeing he's always the one that does that and i want to be able to be the 1 that makes the move. what can i do so i can make the move when i have NO SEX DRIVE at all. (sex is nothing to me anymore) (we used to do it more than 2 times a day for over 3 years than when i got pregnant and had my baby its like i see no point of it) please tell me what can i do to get my sex drive going
2007-07-23 09:10:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your hormones go crazy when you are pregnant. You should see a doctor but there are a few things you can do to increase your drive.
1. Have more sex... don't wait to feel it, just do it once a day. It's a proven fact that actions create feelings not the other way around.
2. Masturbate... You know what feels best and how to create a great orgasm. Do this as often as you have time and you will recreate the pattern of pleasure.
3. Exercise... This will increase the testosterone levels in your body and you will become more aroused.
4. Fantasize... Spend some time thinking about how great it used to be... how the orgasms felt. How your warm bodies felt...
5. Try to find a sex trigger. Something that instantly turns you on.
6. Dress and feel sexy. you may have lost the self confidence to feel sexy after carrying that baby for 9 months and let';s face it, pregnancy is not kind to the body. Realize he is proud of your body and can't wait to press it against himself. Be confident anyway, even if you don't think confident thoughts!
2007-07-23 09:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful, men associate your sexual desire with love and the rejection will send him into a tailspin. Almost every guy I know that cheats wouldn't cheat if thier wife put out more. We don't especially like our sex drive so high, either, but imagine if you will, being really hungry and you get home after a long days work and your hubby says he is pissed that you are hungry. He insists that you can only eat when HE is hungry. For the next few days your hunger increases and all you can think about is the hunger. You sneak a snack but it doesn't satisfy you(masturbate)... Your body needs to eat(meaning his physiology needs to make love to you and his emotional state needs it too). Now someone comes along and tells you they will prepare for you a feast... your starved and not thinking right... get the picture??? Men cannot make thier sex drive slow down anymore than women can 'decide' not to have a period. What if he was suddenly deaf or had a different physical condition? would you do your best to adjust, or just get upset and demand that he not have that condition??? Women forget that they TEACH men that sex isn't special and that other forms of release are more rewarding than joining with thier wife. Without sexual satisfaction he will become bitter(I'm not talking about wierd stuff, normal sex with in marriage) Do you really want to take the ONE BINDING ACT that seperates you from the girl in the cubical down the hall from him and ruin it? Perhaps you should do things to increase your labido instead of pushing your man away. Maybe he's tired of working to pay the bills and he should insist since his mood has changed you be ok with him working 1/6th of the time. I and men in my position get a disgusting feeling now when our wifes touch us, because we had to fight so hard for sex. What was once special is now repulsive. We still have sex drives, just not for our wives.
2016-05-21 03:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by juanita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your baby! I totally understand your question. My drive was really high before the baby, nonexistent after she was born, and now that she is 6 months old it is starting to slowly come back. Give yourself time. Having a baby is a BIG adjustment. Especially your first. So be patient with yourself and take it slow.
As for touching your breasts. It seems like something you have never liked. I HATE people touching my feet, for others it's a fetish. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. When your sex drive was good what did you like?? Not that you have to share or be explicit. Just instead of worrying about likeing something you have never liked try to get him to focus on something you do like. As your drive comes back and as you get used to your post-baby body you may be able to work back in breast play.
Right now just focus on really enjoying it. Make mental notes of what works and what doesn't. And share with your partner! I am sure he will do whatever he can to help! Tell him what's working and what's not. The more success you have the more you will want it! Good luck and take care!
2007-07-23 09:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by the Family Lighthouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, see a doctor...there might be something to no drive at all....
Second, there are a number of books out there that discuss this same thing with women who gave birth....lots of suggestions....
Third, just go thru the motions of what you used to do.... but try to romance him alittle during the day...hold his hand, kiss him around the neck, etc....and by early evening, start thinking of what it was like between both of you, then think how sexy everything was back then....and do the same.....
Without getting into details, by which you probably know what to do and where....lol
But it might take you a few times before you really get into it...then after those few times, he will respond more and more....and so will you...
but the breast thing is tricky....communication is the key..tell him what level of touch is ok....if it's just a lite touch for now, that will have to be good enough...but make sure he knows not to get too rough....Remind him they are attached.....lol
Good Luck! but I don't think you will be needing that.............
2007-07-23 09:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by lodger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to show you that you are still a woman. Some times women have this problem after having children. Go on a date with him both of you spend a few hour grooming and prepping for this. Drink a little wine while you are out. Light the candles when you get home (the kids should be somewhere else) and hold each other till dawn
2007-07-23 09:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way....my girl is almost 5 months now...and my sex drive isn't what it was and I hate it. I am breast feeding and can be very protective of them. I feel like yelling, DON'T TOUCH MY BABY'S MILK! But I refrain and let him get his. But it does take a while to get the hormones flowing right again so I've heard.
2007-07-23 09:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I starred this because my son is 8 months old and I am the same way. We are not depressed, I take or well took Celexin, and that is not the problem. Then you are not lesbian, and there is not hate toward husband, and you are not going to get anything back by cuddling by a fire. It is gone, and I am there with you and I have no idea how to get it back. I wish that I did.
2007-07-23 09:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by Nally25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. That same thing happened to me, with the hormones AND the first thing you mentioned. You lost your drive due to your hormones changing from having a baby, and I think it would be a good idea to go to you obgyn for it. As for your breasts being tender like that all of your life, you have to continually tell him each time, and eventually he will know EXACTLY what to do. Thats how I did it.
2007-07-23 09:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by cindy h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I love my husband as well, and he is still attractive to me, even tho he says he feels like I dont think he is attractive, because I never seem to want sex.
I think it is chemicals in our bodies have changed after having babies. Mine is 1 and 1/2 year old, and I RARELY ever feel like sex.
I am sorry to say I dont know much about it, if you have a doctor I would talk to them. Hopefully it is a phase.
Good luck sweetie!
2007-07-23 09:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, sometimes this is very natural after a baby. Like the other poster said, Are you depressed? Depression comes with pregnancy and childbirth as well. Talk to your spouse about this and see your doctor or a therapist. good luck and congrats on the baby! :o)
2007-07-23 09:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by Һסρε 2ӨӨ8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋