One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste time," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five pounds...... a lot quicker and better than a doctor".
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda. He
deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the Urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Asda, eager to check what will happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better....and thank you for shopping at Asda.
2007-07-23 08:50:48 · 61 answers · asked by PRINCEUPP 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
very Good dude..
2007-07-23 08:53:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious!
2007-07-23 08:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by wildaboutme23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny, I laughed out loud!
2007-07-29 10:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Ju_Ju 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant!
2007-07-23 08:56:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2007-07-28 07:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by colin872966 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard it before, but funny still.
2007-07-31 08:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by rex2gsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg that was really funny!!!!! gre8 joke hahahaha that was soo funny.. thats now my fav. joke gr8 job. keep up the good work!!! i think u should try 2 come up with a dumb blonde joke those r always funny and im sure u would b gr8 at them!!!!!!!!!!!LOL neways gr8 job and i hope u make a whole lot more joke survey questions. =)
keep it up!!! add me 2 ur contacts and if u have any more gr8 jokes email me!! thanx 4 the laugh lol
2007-07-23 08:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by grindsk8king 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That was a really funny, I am so depressed today and that cheered me up to be able to laugh!!!!!! Thank-you, have a great week!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-23 08:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by Dianne L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes very funny ha
2007-07-31 03:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, thats hilarious. Good one
2007-07-23 08:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol .i love the part about ur wife is pregnant.Twins,and there not his so he should get a lawyer.
The part about his daughter having a cocaine problem and she going into rehab really got me started.
2007-07-23 11:03:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋