Should your spouse come first or should your children come first?

Answer 1

God First

Spouse comes first only after God......

Children second......

Answer 2

I answer that the spouse should come first. Here is why.

Day to day care/needs the children should come first, BUT long term your spouse should come first. You MUST "feed" your marriage, and see that is remains happy and healthy. If you don't your marriage will suffer and in the end the children will suffer. Children thrive in healthy marriages. Call it a trickle down effect.

If you ignore your spouse and focus on the children you won't be married for very long. Yes, the spouse is a grown person who can see to their own needs. But if you don't "feed" those needs, then your self-sufficient spouse will go find someone who will.

Answer 3

Nice question!!!
However, in all truth you should come first. Its only after your needs (NOT WANTS) are meet that you can then offer assistance to other.
As for who should come first after yourself that really depends on the age of the child and the circumstance.
Are we talking about 24 who is getting their PhD in basket weaving or Medicine?
Are we talking about a 4 year old who scared of the dark?
In all truth I would side with the spouse, because your bond with your children may become strained, but will always be there. However, your spouse has no bond beyond your commitment to each other and we all know that can too easily be broken for good and in the end damage done to your spouse is ALWAYS passed on to the children. Remember they learn to love another, by how their parents love each other.

Answer 4

Your relationship with the spouse should come first. You can't raise healthy children in an unhealthy marriage. If it's a safety issue, then the children should come first. It's not a cut and dried issue. There are situations that require each to be true.

Answer 5

Serious life misconception is the children should come first because they are unable to provide for themselves. When you got married you did not say place no other before you until we have children. You promised to place NO ONE ELSE BEFORE YOUR SPOUSE. This does not mean do not provide for your children but it does mean remember who was there first and who will be there when the kids are grown up and gone.

The problem with children today is that most parents do put them first and this leads to children being selfish and self centered and thinking everything should and does revolve around them. Today's children are less likely able to survive the real world once they go to college or move out because they find out for the first time that what their parents taught them was in fact a lie. Children are an asset to your marriage they are not and never were intended to take over your marriage or meant to put your marriage and life on hold because God gave them to you. They were given to you to teach how to live through your continued efforts in living and loving and having a great marriage where they learn to put each other first and not have to ask the same question you are asking here today.

Home is where children are to learn about supporting others, loving themselves, and loving others while not forsaking themselves. They can not learn this if parents make the world revolve around them and you aren't being honest with them if you make them think the world does revolve around them.

Yes you can be a wonderful parent without putting your life on stops until your kids are out of the house. Your kids may learn to value this as much as I did growing up.

Answer 6

The way it should go is:
1. Child
2. Spouse
3. Yourself

Of course ppl have other views but the child should come first.

Answer 7

Is you spouse also the father of your children? Not that it should make a difference, but your children depend on you!! They should be first and foremost no matter what. I'm a divorced mother, problems all started after my daughter was born and she became my #1 priority and he didn't like it. He wanted my undivided attention at all times and as for taking care of our daughter, well that was all up to me to! I was told that's the woman's job. If you can't share the responsibly of both being parents(mother or father) and put you children's needs first, someone has a problem. When I got together with my boyfriend I told him right from the beginning, that my daughter was the one and only priority in my life and if he ever put me in a position to have to choose between him or my daughter, he would be on the loosing end of that battle.
I wish you and you children the best.

Answer 8

50/50

You MUST make time for the hubby.
If you focus on the kids your marriage will fall apart.

Your a wife first
Then a MOM, and Friend to children 3rd

Your kids need a schedule.
Bedtime no later then 9 for kids under 11
9:30 for 15 and under
then your scheduled time with your honey.

Take a night to be just with your spouse, get a sitter or drop the kids off at your parents for a couple hours.

It's a balancing act because many times you'll find that your husband is just as needy as your kids

Answer 9

Your children should always come first, if things got bad between two people you still have your children. they are blood related and your spouse should never ask you to put them first before the kids. I think if ever an adult did this they are selfish.

Answer 10

Both. You can't put one on top of the other. Because at some point you have to think that you were husband and wife before you were parents. That is one mistake that parents make way to often. Then they have t children and then they forget about themselves. Of course adults are adults and they can understand a little better when you need to cancel something for the sake of the child, but don't forget about your marriage because at the end the children probably won't have parents together..
Good luck

Answer 11

They are at the same level, if you ask me. That means you need to make time to be not only a Mother - but a WIFE as well.

After all, your children will grow up and make lives of their own. As they should - and if they had the advantage of learning from a loving mother and father - who also loved each other - you've prepared them well.

And when the children are gone - you will still have your loving husband - a relationship you cultivated and cared about for years.