i think my best friend is a lesbian neeeed help here??

Question

my best frend (girl) is a tomboy and well im a girl too and the thing is weve been best frends for less than a year but still its like we really understand each other but sometimes wen she comes over we have like awkward moments...like she suggests playin hide and seek and i would be like ok and like its dark and like she would touch me im not imagining it but it could be like im exagurating the touch maybe it was that her hand accidently hit my butt i mean it was dark and anyways she always holds my legs and like she carries me...but she calls herself straight but i dunno i mean the only crush she had was on eminem and like were in diff skewls shes in an all girls school wich worries me and like wen we went out one to my skewls talent show everyone thought she was my boyfrend coz she looked like such a guy and i was called a lesbian for weeks after that and like i didnt care but when i introduced her to my other frend they like started to look at each other in weird ways...and theres

and like theres no way i would accuse her of being a lesbain even though i support lesbians and gays but like were i am from like its an arab world and like its not even acceptable to even be gay or lesbian and like with my frend shes kindof emo and like shes the suicidal type so i wouldnt wanna go and accuse her of stuff that may not even be true!! so i dont know what to do like all her movessays shes alesbian but she says shes straight and she never lies so i need help

we're both teenagers btw

Answer 1

Why are you worried that your friend is a lesbian? You're suggesting that homosexuality is something you should be worried or afraid of. If your friend is a homosexual, then it's her own life choice and no matter what you say to change that, you're only going to lose her as a friend by pushing her away and trying to make her change. If you're that worried about it, tell her you're uncomfortable with her being so touchy-feely all the time.

Explain that you're straight and that even if she isn't - it's okay, you just don't want to be too physical with her because you're into guys. Explain it gently, but don't overpower her with accusations.

Answer 2

Why do you need help? Would your friendship be any different if she was gay? Being a tomboy doesn't mean an awful lot - there are lots of girls like that who are straight.

If she says she's straight then she should know, right? Even if she is gay, she'll come out in her own time. If you're uncomfortable about her wandering hands (if that's what it really is, it may just have been an accident) then tell her so!

You don't need to 'accuse' her of anything. Just treat her as you would your other friends. If she IS gay then you like her now - what would KNOWING that she's gay change? If she was it doesn't mean that she's automatically going to come onto you!

Just chill - you're getting worked up about something that might not even be true, and even if it is will almost certainly change nothing between you. Treat her as you would anyone else!

Answer 3

Okay so heres the deal... everyone else who commented needs to get a life! This poor girl needs help here, and i'm going to give it to her.

Alright well first off let me say that I've felt the same way MANY times before. I've got a best friend that never talks about guys, she just loves being around girls. This hasn't affected our friendship. You guys can be best friends, and she can be gay and you're straight. It doesn't really matter. Personally, I was confused for a long time. I had daydreams of kissing Angelina Jolie and being in a relationship with other females and I'm a girl. But i waited a few years and now i know that I'm bisexual but I prefer guys. I think you should be there for your friend. She might be confused like I was, at that age. She might be debating in her mind whether or not she should have a crush on you.

Your friend is probably very scared, and nervous of being gay just like all teens are. Don't talk about it with her, don't tell her you think she's gay. Just be there for her. She deserves a friend, a shoulder to lean on. You may be the only girl she has ever had feelings for and she's nervous. Your friend could be gay or might not be. My greatest piece of advice is just: wait a few years. By the time you are 20, you should have a good idea what you are. This friend needs you. And quite frankly, i think god gives us friends to teach us something about ourselves. Maybe God gave you this friend to teach you how to be open-minded and tolerant with with homosexuals. I wish you the best of luck and don't fret too much about this, it's normal to be confused!
All my best ~

Answer 4

Sigh. Grow up.

If she's gay, she's gay. If you're not, you're not. She can't "turn" you gay. You can't "turn" her straight.

If you are really her friend, you'll accept her without judging. Friendship is about a lot more than which gender a person is attracted to.

Many young people seem a little freaked out by sexual roles, and as such get overly homophobic (this means that you are uncomfortable with the idea of being gay or being around gay people). As you mature, you'll realize (I hope) that everyone is different, and this is just another difference people have. I've always liked the color green. My best friend likes blue. I'm not stressing about it, and what you're describing is really no different.

I hope you decide to show some integrity as a friend and relax about this.

Answer 5

Gosh you are so young. If you said these things around older (more mature people) they would find it highly offensive. You're stereotyping someone based on assumptions and rumors of what a gay person WOULD do...how would you even know that? What difference does it make if she IS a lesbian? Do you think that automatically means she wants you? Maybe you're not her type and she just enjoys being friends with you...and you with your nervousness, paranoia and jumpy behavior will surely ruin it before long.

Love,
Snag

Answer 6

Ok
try to talk to her....be honest with her...maybe she is not lesbian, but she loves you, in a friendly way.
And if she is lesbian....I can't find the problem. Are you homophobic? They're as good as all of us, or maybe better.
If you've got a lesbian best friend, that's good!
The only thing you must tell her is that you are not lesbian, and you consider her as your best friend, not more...explain her that you love her, just that in a friendly way, and you don't want to lose that feeling.
She'll get it.

Answer 7

maybe is is lesbian or maybe she is not. She could be lost in questions to her sexuality that's way she keeps say she is straight cause she is scare of rejection by friend and family. If she was lesbian and she is your friend you need to accept her that way she is. But if she is not she just feel comfortable dressing the way she dresses

Answer 8

ask her, and tell her to be honest - if she is, stand up for her - sounds like some of your "other friends" are a little closeminded. I'm a tomboy myself and I LOVE a slightly andrognous look, but it doesn't mean I'm a leisbian. In fact, I like guys who some people may see as "flambouyant" or "gay" !

Answer 9

i think she could be gay or she not she just very friendy you should ask her but sometime when you are tomboy that that don't make gay you just like to dress and it just phase you go through. she maybe do like but you could still see in the dark cause there are street light and you can see people shadow in the dark

Answer 10

lots of girls are tom boys and not lez...just be her friend my daughter and her friends are all straight and have babies and husbands but when they were young early teen i would notice that that messed around..i would see the little touches and snickers. the showering and in the bathroom together..its just normal when one starts into puberty to be curious and explore each other.....so don't worry even if she does more its just learning and playing with you..