My so called friend met someone less than half a year ago. Since she is dating this guy, it's hard to get in touch with her, she'll often ignore me on msn, use excuses to ditch me after we made plans for a couple of beers, etc.
She is getting married next month, and I am very happy she found someone after so much misery. But I am also upset because I haven't seen her in so long, she is so into this guy she won't give me one hour of her time to catch up.
I was thinking the other day, if we are friends, why haven't I been invited to her wedding? Bridal shower? Seen her dress? Help her plan? Go with her to check on marriage stuff, met the groom, etc...
I am wondering if this friendship is only a one way thing, she probably doesn't feel the same way. Seems she remembers I am her friend when she needs to borrow money.
Should I be upset or am I making a bigger deal than there really is?
2007-07-23 07:22:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sounds like the so-called "friendship" is more on your part than hers. If she is not responding to you, quit trying to reach her. You will be able to make new friends. You have what's called a 'fair-weather friend'. Especially the money borrowing bit. Drop her and see if she tries to get in touch with you the next time she needs to borrow money. Then drop her!! (without making the loan of course!).
2007-07-31 06:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your feelings are hurt and I certainly understand why! Some people are just "friends" when they need something and forget about you when things are good. Perhaps she is concentrating on people she has met through "him" and family can also become all consuming when weddings are being planned. It could be that his family and hers are running the show and won't allow her to invite all of her old friends. That could be why she is avoiding you, because she doesn't know how to tell you that you aren't invited because of costs and isn't allowed to invite all of the people she would like to be there.
Try to talk to her and perhaps she'll be able to make you feel better. If not just let it go and consider it a lesson learned. If she is really your friend it will work out and if she's not you're better off without her.
Look at this way, if she is isn't your friend, you can stop making the effort and make room some one who will be a REAL friend! You were there for her and there are lots of people out there who would be as good to you as you are to them! You deserve that! Don't waste your time and emotion on someone who doesn't deserve a friend like you! Good luck and things will work out!
2007-07-23 15:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by Janet H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously. she is not your friend at all cause if she was, she wouldn't be ditching u with u emailing her, calling her, and her not inviting u to the wedding. SO i think u should be upset with her just let it go because if she was your friend she would of invited u to the bridal shower? maybe made u maid of honor or one of the bridemaids. I have a friend and i asked her to go to the mall with me. i called her the day before. i asked her u want to go to the mall with me. She said ok. SO the next day i called her and i was ready to go i asked her was she still meeting me at the mall. I heared her asked her mom can she go to the mall with me, her mom said no because she had to watch the kids. Friends like that i do not need and obviously your friend is a backstabber and fake. SO im just giving u advice u can stay friends or just tell her to back off. I mean if u ever get married dont invite her to the wedding after what she did to u girl.
2007-07-30 10:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say it, but you are hurt from how she is acting. You are not wrong for that. Your friend is on cloud nine and is leaving you out. She isn't sharing this happy time with you, but has no problem sharing her bad times. It sounds like you're more of a friend to her than she is to you. It's not to say she doesn't like you. She might just not consider you one of her best friends and is putting all of her time into her new man. Most of us are guilty of abandoning our friends when we find new love. That should tame down and she should come around eventually. My concern is that she hasn't invited you to the wedding. Is she secretly mad at you? I think you need to have a talk with her and if she is just too busy to talk to you then you should just be too busy the next time she needs you. Be leery of anyone that only is there when they need you. They should want you just as much or something is fishy.
2007-07-23 14:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by Teresa Dagger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She has decided that she does not value your friendship. Effectively, she is your friend but you are not hers.
I think you'd best stop wasting your time with her. I must admit I do not have much respect for people like her, people who do not have the guts and decency to just tell others when they don't want to be friends anymore.
In all, your question should not be "should I be upset?"--you clearly are upset. The real question you should be asking yourself is if this so-called friend of yours is still worth your time. I wager the answer is NO.
Don't blame it on yourself.
2007-07-23 16:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but you are not making it a bigger deal than it is. Unfortunately, your friend has decided you are no longer her friend. It would have been nice, had she talked to you about it, and explained herself...but she has not given that courtesy. As much as it must hurt, I hope you don't pursue this relationship. It will only keep disappointing you. Let's hope in time, she sees her mistake and comes to you and apologizes. You are a better friend than she deservesat this point.
2007-07-29 12:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probally try to talk to her 1 more time. Men can change everything. I know what your going through, but i also know what shes going through... Just don't lend her any money...no matter how much u have! Ask if she needs help, but then i would say forget it. Just keep checking the mail for an invite.
2007-07-31 14:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by TristaKayW 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be upset, but seems like she did you a favor. A real friend wouldn't treat you the way she has. Move on you don't need "friends" like that.
2007-07-30 16:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset too. Just go to her house, and force her to sit down and talk to her and tell her all this, if you call she'll hang up and if you I/M her she'll ignore. If I was you, I'd get an attention grabber like "I do cocaine" or "I'm having an ultra sound and since you haven't been talking to me you wouldn't know I'm 5 months pregnant, please come to my ultra sound" but really meet her and tell her you were lying and that you just needed to talk to her but couldn't get her any other way. And get back your money.
2007-07-23 14:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by Olivia M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
apparently you thought you were friends and you are not really. i mean you are an acquantance but that is it. well why would you be upset? i woudn't there are so many people out there to met and like just pick yourself up and go find some more people and forgt this.
2007-07-30 23:15:51 · answer #10 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋