I just found out my dh of 10 years cheated on me about 15 years ago when we were dating. Thing is she eventually started dating his best friend. We hung out with them alot, drinking etc. He kept trying to push me and her together to be friends yet never thought it was important to tell me about his past with her. He says it is stupid for me to be mad about it now. Do you agree?
2007-07-23 07:14:10 · 14 answers · asked by frogger 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, since it happened 5 years before you were married, i have to gather that you hadn't been together all that long, and obviously it hasn't had an impact on the relationship between the two of you, and so it wasn't that big a deal. you obviously won, so yes, i think it would be silly to get too upset about it. you might tell him that he should have told you, and you can get a little upset, but don't get crazy about it. it was 15 years ago.
2007-07-23 07:19:36 · answer #1 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your world was a coin on edge for a really long time. Being flipped didn't take much. He did a 15 year old while his child was in the first year of life, while you were still pretty emotional and learning how to deal with this little person 24/7. Being honest and fair isn't like Viagra. You don't take it for a few hours of good times. Honest and fair is 24/7. He takes his honest and fair pill, does his thing just to make you feel better, and then returns to honesty dysfunction. If you stay, do in knowing that his being honest is a brief, planned event.
2016-05-21 02:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not stupid to be mad. I don't think I'd divorce him, but do be mad. You may not have married him had you known about his little fling. His fidelity since then shows he's grown up now, so you shouldn't get all suspicious on him now, but his has been an ongoing lie for 10 years. That's wrong.
2007-07-23 07:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed as well! It does not matter how long ago the betrayal took place, you just learned about it. It may as well have happened yesterday! He was unfaithful to you. Whether you were married at that time or not, it does not make it hurt any less. You are completely entitled to your feelings! If he thinks you are overreacting and have no right to be angry, perhaps he should have either not cheated or kept his mouth shut.
2007-07-23 07:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually you do have the right to be upset. What he did back then was just as much wrong back then as it is now. And every second that went by that he failed to confess it to you was one more second he was deceiving you. No, cheating is wrong on any level and no amount of time will just sweep it under the rug.
2007-07-23 07:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by sickblade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let it go, but not until I got my point across that I didn't like the fact that I never knew. He'll probably leave it to the "you never asked" category. Not worth a fight in the long run though. Speak your mind and move on for your own sanity.
2007-07-23 07:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lexi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does DH stand for? I wouldn't worry about it--it was 5 years before you got married!
2007-07-23 07:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by boohoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Single people really have no real bonds to anyone including their partners, that is why we have marriage. He had doubts about being with you and did whatever with this other woman, but HE DECIDED TO MARRY YOU. Celebrate that fact and stop looking for fault in him. Love is accepting each other completely with their faults.
2007-07-23 07:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I agree, you weren't married at the time you were just dating. Besides it's too late to get mad about it now...that's just plain childish.
2007-07-23 08:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to him it may be silly to be mad about it now but i have to 2nd what has been said here earlier....why did he tell you about it now...that would cause me problems...like he was thinking about and needed to come clean in case you found out...or he was thinking of doing it again and needed some cover?
2007-07-23 07:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋