I have a fiance and we i have known him for over 2years and im engaged to him for 6months now! He has a very big jeoulsy problem, like he doesnt let me talk to guys AT ALL! and he always asks me if i talked to guys?
also when we fight, if he wants us to go somewhere he will grab my hand and make me do something! He can be very sweet, i love him and his family! but i want him to stop hurting me! i just need some advice on what to do...
2007-07-23 06:30:05 · 11 answers · asked by sara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
More often than not, jealousy is caused by a general feeling of insecurity. It is highly probable that this guy feels something is missing from the relationship and if it goes on, he fears that the the relationship might die. Fear, alongwith anxiety and concerns about the future are just some of the stumbling blocks of relationships.
Some questions you need to internalize before you approach your fiancee about this: have i communicated any message to him to cause him to doubt the relationship? am i a proactive partner or a passive one? by being proactive, do i give him enough time, words, and thoughts that he need even "BEFORE" he asks? by being passive, do i assume a lot from him or take him for granted? do i respond constructively every time he asks me if i talked to guys?
It appears that this jealousy rage has brought your fiancee to become unreasonably physical. This behavior is indicative of his past childhood conditioning, which, if not at all mended, could pose future problems for you.
I suppose your engagement for 2 years was not enough for you to establish your fiancee's inner person. Try to dig deeper into knowing him. Like for instance, whenever you go out, how much time do you talk about "YOURSELVES" rather than other people or other things?
At this point, if you wish to end up at the altar with this same guy, you really really need to do a lot of talking. I am guessing you won't expect this initiative from your guy. You have to do it yourself.
I wish you luck!
2007-07-23 12:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by jeff b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although your kids have grown attatched to him it would be easier for you to end it now rather than ten years down the road. change your locks, a descent man is not gonna just show up at your door in the middle of the night knowing you have kids.. even ifyou invite him to come any time he should call but not in the middle of the night. is he on drugs? if he pops up again let him know that you two are done and you wish him the best. I was MARRIED to my older sons dad and i put up with him too long my ex came home maybe once a week and my son was effected by this i left for my sons sake. I refuse tobe codependant and have some man sleep under my roof when he isnt helpingme with my kids. Your kids will respect you for respecting your self and not allowing a man to have the control over you. its your house your independent you change the locks period. (i am not being judgmental iresponded to this question because I went through it. You may meet a nice man and whos to say your bf will pop up? GOOD Luck! relationships work because there is a contribution being made by each person that effects e other possitvely suppose to be a team and help one another accomplish there goals. he doesnt sound like the one for you right now. at least you are not in denial because you feel he has some kind of stuff going on.
2016-05-21 01:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down (not after theres a problem) but when every thing is good and tell him how you feel, let him know that if you are going to spend your lives together then he needs to trust you and he needs to respect you when you give him an answer. He needs to know that he cannot grab you, he needs to be able to converse with you in a more calm manner or you cant be with him, thnk about how much worse he could get, put your foot down now while its still early. Best Wishes.
2007-07-23 07:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SERIOUSLY LEAVE HIM!!! Its already not good the way it sounds. Jealousy is the root of all evil in a relationship. If your already having problems now its gonna even get worse! No man that loves you would grab you or even make you feel uncomfortable! NEVER, EVER, Thats not love! Thats a HUGE CONTROL issue. One day he may start beating on you. I am telling you he may be sweet and say all the right things but you already know if you cross him wrong what happens. Good Luck but please listen dont wait until it gets to late and you invlove kids what happens when they see this and he does this...?
2007-07-23 06:37:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two have been going out that long and he still doesn't trust you, why would you marry someone who can't just trust you. AND being hurt like that is not good nor will it improve in your relationahip. But I also advise you don't give up on him just yet. Let him know. Communication is good and will help in any relationship.
Wish you 2 the best of luck :)
2007-07-23 07:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by unicorn_dragongrrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sara invite him to a cool place sit and talk openly be honest and tell him you do not like his attitude change him before things go bad remember that jealousy almost destroyed my own marriage that is 24 years,jealousy is a two side weapon.you are a female use what nature has given you to keep him in your world.
2007-07-23 06:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by seawave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's hutring you physically then that has to stop immeditately...for the jealousy problem have a serious talk with him and ask him if he trust you...when he aswsers yes ask him y he wont let you talk to other guys
2007-07-23 06:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by IRRESISTABLE!!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sara
when you love someone you do get little possessive about him/her....sit and try to talk to him and make him believe that he is the only one whom you love...make him trust you...without trust nothing is possible in any kind of relationship
2007-07-23 06:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he is the only man that you love and that you would never cheat on him! Tell him that if he doesn't stop hurting you that you will leave him or tell him when he is hurting you!!
2007-07-23 06:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by *Chy` 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is confront him and tell him to stop hurting you because you cannot take it anymore. if he really loevs you, he would care about you and your health and stop.
2007-07-23 06:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Dollie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋