it is. what can i do to spruce up the sex life. i know he's physically attracted to me...i'm not sure so much as emotionally. please help
2007-07-23 06:19:20 · 18 answers · asked by coldplayfan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have sex about three times a week. he works 80 hrs/wk i work 60
2007-07-23 07:31:41 · update #1
If he's physically attracted to you, and you two have a strong relationship then...
I'm just guessing by your work schedules that you guys are both busy people. I can tell you from experience that working a lot can lower a man's sex drive. Sex is great, but it is (and a lot of times should be) work. Sometimes when you're not working you just want to enjoy a good meal, lie down, relax. or perhaps he's too caught up in work.
If its not that, then maybe you do something spontaneous and kinky for him. Drop a big sign, but do it when he's well rested.
Guys may have several reasons for abstaining from sex. If he feels you may be uncomfortable with the sex, he may avoid it. Let him know you enjoy it and that he's your sexy man. Boost his ego.
2007-07-25 14:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by ajre82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
Well, I agree with the others that there is something wrong and you really do need to figure it out. A heart to heart without blaming is needed. Maybe he is having an issue and is embarrassed.
To spice things up to you try:
- sexy lingerie (men are very visual)
- Maybe buy or rent an erotic movie. Not a porn (unless you like that) but something more woman friendly. You can buy these online to avoid embarrassment.
- Do a strip tease for him
- Buy some fun new "toys" - also can be bought online
- Talk about fantasies and/or act out some of your safer ones.
- Talk about different things you would like to try with each other.
Good luck. Sex does often drop off from time to time...but not normally that soon so I think first you need to talk. :)
2007-07-23 06:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by ~Brenda~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men think they have to do the same things that made you marry him to keep you. In his mind the hard part is over. So he like I got you and you ain't going no where. WRONG he has to sex you like he did before. Let him know this is only the beginning and even if he working hard he still got to find time to make to you. As Dave Hollister said" TAKE CARE OF HOME SO SHE CAN TAKE OF YOU"
2007-07-23 06:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by Deneice C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is confusing... I would say talk to him, and ask him WHY he doesnt want to have sex. This is so strange because usually WOMEN are reported as acting this way...
But the best advice that any of us can give you is to talk to him. You're only a month married, and I cannot see into your marriage or your husbands mind to know why he doesnt desire intimacy, but it is a problem and can lead to greater problems if it is left unaddressed.
2007-07-23 06:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sex problems already? Is this your/his first marriage? Did you two live together before you got married or did you two just move in? Are you just getting home from your honeymoon? He's probably just trying to adjust to his new role in life. Give it a bit of time and see what happens.
2007-07-23 06:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Odie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know for some men the excitement decreases while pressure increases after you get married. Maybe he's thinking about where you guys will be in 10 years. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. You're too early in your relationship to be wondering what's wrong.
2007-07-23 06:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mekia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a marital problem. Sit him down and tell him that whatever it is, he can feel free to tell you because if you don't know, you can't fix it.
It may be something he is afraid to tell you (like "you nag me," or "you don't keep yourself up for me," or "you try to emasculate me,") - so you have to go through a great deal of trouble to make him feel safe so he will open up. Tell him to be blunt, and DON'T cry and complain at what he says.
If you feel like it's insensitive or unreasonable, take time to think about it - DON'T START AN ARGUEMENT - or he may never open up again.
2007-07-23 06:25:28 · answer #7 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you!! My husband and I just had this fight last night!! One thing I can tell you is don't nag(thats what I did, hense "fight"). I've been married 7 yrs and It's been a battle the whole time!! I'm about ready to end it! Good luck!
2007-07-23 06:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by Marygoroun(d) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have totally discharged his drive batteries. This reminds me of a song I heard, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I always was". After only a month you might suggest he go in for a medical checkup and yadda, too.
2007-07-23 06:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an issue you need to resolve. Sit down with him and figure out what the problem is.
2007-07-23 06:22:29 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋