How should I schedule my visitation with my son?

Question

He would be living with his mom, out of state.My dilema is his school. I want him 6 months out of the year and six months would interfere with his school.

I cannot relocate from my state. My career/income would significantly change for the worse.My job is only in certain states ( I cannot talk about my job).

It doesn't make any logical sense to me to fly my son for summer,spring break, my birthday,Christmas (even years) and winter break. That's too much of an expense and with child support I can't afford to see my son on those terms.

Answer 1

You'll probably have to settle for the standard visitation order for whatever state the child currently resides in, for parents that live more than 100 miles apart. it is usually 1 weekend out of the month and extended visitation during school holidays and summers. Do a search for the state you live in + standard possession order. Unfortunately, it isn't in the best interest of the child to have to change schools, so the judge probably won't OK that. Best wishes!

Answer 2

You may just have to sacrifice a little of what YOU want and think of your child. A six month stretch is quite a bit for a child. Yes it will interfere with school. How far is "out of state"? Can you make a drive every few weeks to see him? What about on long weekends when there is there is a no school day? Why don't you take the summers, a week while school is out for holiday breaks and such. Can you move to be closer? I understand it will be hard, but make a schedule that will work, and your son will not suffer. But saying "you want him 6 months out of the year", sounds a little selfish as you are only thinking of yourself. Yes, he is "half" yours......but he is himself 100% and his needs and wants come first. My ex has made many changes to his life and has actually moved further away, and he will have to make the drive to see her every other weekend. I have 2 more kids with my husband and due to my schedule, I cannot do all the traveling, so since he wanted to move, he had to make sure he can make it work. And he does. Sometimes, you have to take steps forward, in a positive manner....not to cause friction. If you want to see your son, you may have to make an effort of being the "bigger person" and keep a positive tone when dealing with your ex...or your child will be the one who suffers. Good luck.

Answer 3

Depending on how old your son is, six months out of the year if taken all at once could be very difficult adjustment for your child, six months without one parent straight is a tough thing to do. Even if you guy did home schooling and traded every other month, that's still a lot of adjusting for a child to do. Your best bet, in the interests of your son, is to move to the same city, get a legal agreement that neither parent can move further away than 50 miles from the other, and work out an arrangement so that your son has the least amount of adjusting to do. It's not about YOU, it's about HIM.

Answer 4

You should not divide him between schools, that is too confusing for everyone!

Have you asked him what HE would like to do? Give him several options, such as 2/3 of summer break, 1/2 of spring and 1/2 of winter break. That way he spends a good portion of time with dad and still has a chance to be able to hang out with his school chums too.

Just give him a voice in this. It is his life too.

Answer 5

It would, and it would make it more difficult on him even if you got him for a year and she had him for a year. Get him every holiday that he is out of school and spring break and all of summer vacation as well as the weekends. Take every chance you can to get him when he is out of school so he knows you are there and you put him first and foremost. Also, call him everyday. Send cards at random and little gifts to him. Being in two schools will make it hard on him bc no two schools follow the same study, and you do not want him to get behind in his schooling. Think of your son in every decision you make.

Answer 6

Put your child and his education first.. take the summer, thanksgiving holiday.. christmas break and spring break.. let him attend one school during the year. It's difficult for children to leave their friends.. go to a new school with all different routines and curriculum and stay where they should academically.. You could also go there and rent a room on some weekends so you could spend time together.. I know it is hard.. but it's what's best for your child..

Answer 7

A six month split would be very disruptive to his schooling. I don't think you want to do that.

You may need to settle for summers and vacations, with some sort of options for you to go visiting there X weekends a year. Though if/when he's a teen, that will be a tough point because he'll want to be near his friends.

Answer 8

Does his mom live out of state already? If she doesn't, you can stop her from moving out of state as the best interest of the child. He can go to school the first 6 months with her and the second with you. That's usually how it's done.

Answer 9

You can either try to arrange to have him during all school breaks or you could simply enroll him in school where you live when he is with you.

There are many parents in your situation and schools are used to helping parents. What you do is enroll him before he comes to visit and make sure they understand the situation. You will need your court papers so that they know its all on the up and up and that you have the right to enroll him in school.

Answer 10

Can you move to be closer to them, to allow him to stay in the same school all year?

His childhood years are going to *fly* by so quickly. Once they're gone, you won't even mind having made a few sacrifices now, to make them better for him (and you and his mother). In fact, your life wherever you live will probably make turns that make you glad that you moved closer, too.