I have always thought that if you are in a relationship, and get cheated on, that it is not the other man/woman's fault. It was your partner's fault. However, is it different if the person is a total stranger to your family? What if the person knows you and your family? Shouldn't that person have to suffer some kind of consequence? Why should they have nothing happen to them when your life is now in shambles? Would it be fair to stand outside their apartment complex and yell loud enough for the neighbors to hear that she's a homewrecking *****? Or maybe dedicating your MySpace page to her homewrecking *** for a while. Tell me what you all think.
2007-07-23 04:22:40 · 45 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My first husband cheated on me more then once. I thought he would stop, that it was a "phase" and when he quit then we could end up in a good marriage.....NOT! After 2 years I divorced him and moved out of state. I loved his family and we always exchanged Christmas cards. So, I got on with my life and I saw him 7 yrs later. He quit his drugs and got a good job and his head was on straight. We got along great. And he admitted that he did me wrong and I was the best thing that ever happened in his life. He wanted to get remarried, but my life was way past wanting to be married to him. I truly still cared about him, but realized that the best gift he ever gave me was to do something that made me leave him. My life is good now. So, what I'm telling you now is, that he let you know what kind of person he really is and she was part of that lesson. Maybe you need to seize the opportunity to make a better life for yourself without him. Their relationship isn't going to work out because it's built on quick sand. By the time they realize that, you'll have a wonderful life and quite honestly, there's no better revenge then to have a wonderful life after someone did something so destructive.
2007-07-23 04:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by LAL 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually, her life is in shambles as well. She's wasted time, energy and emotion on a married man who either has already left her, will leave her soon or will cheat on her later. She likely has horrible self esteem and no sense of self worth.
We all know that the man almost never ends up with the woman he cheats with. He may divorce his wife, but he won't commit to the girlfriend. Once the thrill of hiding is gone, he's usually outta there.
There are probably enough people reminding the other woman that she's a homewrecker, talking about her behind her back, etc. to do some damage. It's best for the wife/first girlfriend to show some class and not involve herself with that kind of behavior. If she does, it's just allowing this other woman even more control over her life, and wasting even more time because of her.
2007-07-23 04:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it is not right of the other woman, but your spouse isn't innocent either. Don't go yell at her tho, You have to be the adult here I know it is hard, First I would make sure the whole family knows that you don't like her at all and you don't want her around if your family respects you they will no longer let her be involved in your family functions, If your family keeps letting her around then I would tell them straight out that they know how you feel about her after what she had did to you and your family and if they really love you they wouldn't keep hurting you like that and tell them you wont come around any more if they like her around better, As for your husband if he cheats once he'll cheat again, I'd leave him in a heart beat he is no better than her, Stay strong they aren't worth it.
2007-07-23 04:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by Bingo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
None of those things will give you piece. If you stand outside her apartment and yell, you could be arrested. You could dedicate your myspace page to her for a while, but what would it accomplish? If it will make you feel better than go ahead and do it. But if your only motivation is revenge, I guarantee that it will not help you at all. You need to move on with your life. Ruining hers will not help you to do that.
2007-07-23 04:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I did the behaviors that you suggest, I may feel better at that moment, but in the long run, I think I'd feel foolish.
I believe that we all have consequences to our actions.. good or bad. I think you may never get the satisfaction of seeing her consequences of this specific action.
The only way that she won't have some emotional consequence is if she is a total sociopath (& those are rare)
and has no feelings.
If you really think it will make you feel better... go ahead, but I suggest that it's between God and her, not you and her.
2007-07-23 04:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by Bentley 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While it sounds like a good idea, she can have you arrested for disturbing the peace and for libel or slander. She is not doing anything technically illegal -- just highly immoral. What you suggest would be illegal.
It is better to quietly make sure that pweopl know what this tramp did. The guy that broke up my marriage now has no friends, and neither does my ex-. And now, after 5 years of them dating, she finally realized what a loser he is, and dumped him, too. Now neither one has friends, but at least people will talk to her now.
Our mutual friends during our marriage all stuck with me - once they figured out what this homewrecker had done.
"What goes around, comes around!"
2007-07-23 04:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well considering that it takes two to tango, I would say that the "homewrecker" should reap some of the responsibility. But sadly, there is not much in this world that can be done to "force" responsibility on someone. If you go to their apartment and scream and yell, you could be arrested. However, I would be more concerned with your emotional recovery rather than her homewrecking ways. You need to realize that you don't need someone who would betray you like that, and recover your life, and not give her so much power over your soul.
I have gone through this one....
2007-07-23 04:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by vaughnc5920 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Things we do that we know are wrong usually come back to bite us. I really believe that if she knows she did wrong and isn't sorry she'll never really be at peace. Also, how will she ever have a happy marriage herself knowing that there are women like her in the world. My advice, go vent to a longtime girlfriend. Use every swear word you know, all in a row. Then try to be happy yourself. Let someone else be her judge. Besides, what if she comes out and says things that just make your heart break more? I totally understand your anger. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-07-23 07:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually feel compassion for the woman who picked my husband up in a bar while he was blitzed drunk...he confessed the next day and thru the power of God and forgiveness he and I are working through it...our marriage is stronger and healthier than it was before he cheated and I praise God for that!! However, the "other woman" is probably still a broken, lost, hopeless individual still out there getting wasted and messing with other women's husbands...what is so broken in her own life that she would use married men to make herself feel better? I dont think revenge would benefit anyone so I pray for her...
2007-07-23 04:40:54 · answer #9 · answered by Notagain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is not fair. However, what you are suggesting does not help an already bad situation.
It is for this sort of thing that women have acquired their notoriously "catty" reputations.
You are right about one thing though, it is your partner's fault, above all else because he is the one who owes you the duty to stay faithful, not the other person (whether they know you or not). Focus your efforts there.
2007-07-23 04:29:34 · answer #10 · answered by dpilipis 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋