I'm a good girl, have a good relationship w/ my parents. But I made a mistake, gave in to peer pressure and drank. I would tell my parents but they got to know before I could tell hem. They belived me, were nice, said w/ love they understood, but anyway took some measures that dad strongly emphasized was NOT a punishment, but a growing up process. So, during some time they will supervise me and though I'm not grounded there's some restrictions, all related to going out w/ friends. They said they'll help me go through this period, and asked me to consider they're helping and not punishing me. I got sad, told them I'm a good girl that made a mistake, this happens and there was no reason for them not to trust me. Dad assured this wasn't the case, said if he forgot $1000 on my room he'd be sure I wouldn't steal a cent, but, since I'm 13 and inexperienced, I need some help to deal w/ peer pressure. Asked me to be patient and in 1 months, he thinks, everything will be over.
2007-07-23 03:51:50 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Isn't this unfair? Didn't he use say soft words to describe what actually is a punishment? Does his action show love? You see, a year ago my older sister did something wrong, she lied, was jealous of me, something that hurt all of us. She regretted, apologized, we believed she was sincere and forgave her completely. Actually, she was sincere and we're great friends. I reminded dad of this, without any resentment but just to make him see she had no punishment and I was getting those measures. He said it was different, she gave in to bad feelings, realized it was bad and regretted. I didn't have bad feelings, it was just a difficulty to deal with peer pressure. He tried to cheer me up, and said I'm a wonderful girl who showed difficulty with such situations and need "help" (in plain English, punishment) to learn how to deal w/ them I'm confused, maybe someone can help me. I feel they are being unfair
2007-07-23 03:52:01 · update #1
They sound like they are doing a heck of a good job. Learn from the mistake, and things will be all good soon enough.
2007-07-23 03:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hes being a dad and just worried because his little girl made a mistake -yes - however whats to say you may do it again I mean mommy and daddy aren't always going to be there to help you Ill be going to college and I have done so many stupid things that I regret but with out my parents help I dont think I would be the person I am today ...you could suggest this: If you were to go out with your friends give your dad a call every once in a while to check in tell him where you are and what you are planning on doing this way he knows where you are and what you are up to with out feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable around your friends ...I think he just doesn't want to see you get into more trouble than you did ...if you consumed enough alcohol that day to a point that poisoned you you could have OD'd on alcohol ...but thats not the point I think it is unfair to what he is doing and should think of some thing else to do the not nessecarily puunishes you but helps seem like he has control on the situation
2007-07-23 06:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by katty0003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they are not being unfair.
Alchohol can really hurt you and put you at risk. Consider youself really lucky that nothing really bad hapened while you were drinking. That's a really hard way to learn a lesson.
You are also really lucky that you have parents who care about stuff like that. Some parents would just yell and ground you, oher parents care so little they wouldn't notice if you were high/drunk every night.
You're not grounded, just supervised. You really are too young to drink. And very priveliged to have such understanding folks.
As for your sister... was that not dealt with at the time? Do you think your parents should punish her now, just because you feel bad? Sisters always have arguments/issues, and again you sound lucky you've got a sister who's not like that all of the time!
2007-07-23 04:17:21 · answer #3 · answered by internits 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake and realized you were wrong. Yes, you should have been punished, but your parents are a bit off by saying they are "trying to help you thru this". You are obviously not a teen drunk, so this was hopefully a one time mistake. I'm not sure what measures your parents took because you were very vague in your posting, but if it was a first time offense and you were sorry and knew what you did was wrong, your parents should have gone a little easier. Second time however, I would not be so lenient. I have a 12 year old son. If he came home and said he got drunk and made a mistake, yes, he would be punished. If it happened again, the punishment would be more strict and so on and so forth for as many times as he repeated the offense.
2007-07-23 04:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by kikio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are just trying to protect you and yes right now it seems totally unfair and you resent the fact that they went easier on your sister and got tough on you. I am sixteen and i dealt with the stages of my parents just trying to protect me and it was hard. When I was thirteen my mom found out that bascially i was living a double live (drinking, smoking, etc.) now everysince I have been clean but my point is IT WILL PASS and in a month or less your parents will go right back to treating the way they did before. Your a good girl and your parents know your a good girl the trust will come back but for now you have to respect the fact that your parents are acting like parents and are trying to protect from making a big mistake (and drinking is no joke) as for peer pressure anyone who pressures is not a friend and remeber everything you do in life is a choice
2007-07-23 04:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that your parents love you and want whats best for you. I think they're actually being very nice about the whole thing. I probably would've lashed out and grounded you...but then, you wouldn't really learn anything. After your "grounded" period was over you'd probably go out and do it again. But this way, they want to show you what's best for you and make sure you don't fall into peer pressure again. Your parents have great patience and I think that in the future...when you have your own kids you will learn a lot from them. =)
1 month is not a long time at all...cooperate with your parents and you all will be a lot more happier.
2007-07-23 04:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by Liz B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have awesome parents. You are 13, and you are good at it, too. It is summer, and it stinks for you. It is a punishment, but your parents are trying to do the best with a bad situation. They have lots more experience with life than you. Trust them. They aren't perfect. but it sounds like they love you and want the best for you. How you react to this will help shape who you are and the relationship you have with your parents.
It will make an impression and you may be less likely in the future to slip up again. And your sister's situation? Maybe they realized that they weren't hard enough on her and it was a mistake because she may be suspect in some way, even if you don't know about it. You sound like a reasonable teen. Make the best of it because you are stuck with it anyways.
2007-07-23 04:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by Iamstitch2U 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 years from now, if you gave in to peer pressure and did something illegal, you may end up doing 20 to life in federal prison.... no matter how good you think you are.
Sure what your parents are doing is punishment, but for the best reasons. You broke their trust, they need you to reestablish that trust.
But is it fair? No, not really. There are kids out there whose parents don't give a crap about them and would look the other way. Then there are parents who would beat their kid to a bloody pulp and lock them in their room for the next 5 years.
Life isn't fair, but we have to play with the cards dealt to us.
So accept your punishment as it was intended, a loving jesture allowing you restricted freedoms that in all fairness many other children will never have.
2007-07-23 04:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that he doesn't trust you he just thinks your growing up to fast. Trust me if I had a 13 year old daughter id be the dog cleaning out his shotgun when she brought a boy over.
Yes your dad is probably being unfair but since when don't parents have feelings that make thm completely unbiased. Also he just might not liek the crowd your with, drinking at 13 is a bit young I think I was like 15/16 before I drank.
Your dad isn't punishing you because he doesn't trust you. He knows that if you had a decision between wrong and right that you would choose right. The question is at 13 what he sees as wrong and right and what you do may vary.
2007-07-23 04:00:39 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew P 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You know what, considering what some parents would do if they found their kid drank, you are getting off SO easy. Just suck it up and deal with it. It's just a month, they're being nice about it, and now you'll know never to drink while you're underage. Every action has a reaction. This is their reaction. You'll be fine, you'll live, you'll get over the embarrassment of whatever "supervision" means.
They obviously love you and want to make sure you stay safe. Be thankful for that.
2007-07-23 03:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by Heidi W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think their "help" (punishment) for u is unfair but i do think its unfair that they handled the situation with ur sister differently than theyre handling urs. i basically gone through this same scenario. i was 12 (now 13) and my friends said that i should make a myspace. i was in the mood to do it and it didnt seem like a big deal at the time so i made one. a couple days later i asked my rents if i could make one (after my myspace was up and running). they said that theyd think about it. about a month, maybe more, went by with no answer from them and i still had my myspace. but i though it was completely fine cuz they hadnt said no yet, right? finally my mom got suspicious, as all moms would, and she found out that i had one. i knew she new cuz there was a cup of tea in my room and it wasnt mine. it had to have been moms. she was searching through my room! so we had a big long talk with my dad, stepdad, and mom. they did give me consiquences that were related to the situation but i was actually glad they did cuz i really felt like i desirved them.
hope this helps. :]
2007-07-23 04:11:24 · answer #11 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋