I was invited to my sons' father wedding?

Question

We had my son when we were in high school i was 16 and he was 17 at the time. I'm now 25 and married so i'm totally over him of course, but i don't know if he invited me because it was the thing to do or because he really wants me to be there. My husband said that we should go since our son is in the wedding, but i know for a fact that my sons father's fiance' doesn't like me to much (I think it's because me and him are still close and don't have no baby mama drama). I do know for a fact that he wants us there...but i don't wanna upset the bride on her day...what should i do

yes I was given an actual invitation

Answer 1

This is a really tough question. I would want to go because my son is in the wedding but I understand that you may not want to upset the bride. The thing is - you do have a child with this man and you have remained friendly. Which is the way it should be for the sake of your child and the bride should be mature enough to understand it. Why can't everyone be friendly???? I would probably call my ex boyfriend and his fiance and tell them how you feel. Tell them you would like to be there for them but do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Life would be much easier if we would talk to each other and explain feelings. The bride has to understand that you have a child together and that's it - there is nothing between you but you would like to be friends with her too for the sake of your son. It would be great if everyone could just get along for the kids. I hope it works out!

Answer 2

If you know it would upset her, don't go. This is her day not yours, you had yours. I think ,deep down your ex has more respect for you than his wife b/c if he knows she does not care much for you then he would not have invited you in the first place. It sound like you 2 haven't quite gotten over "everything". It could be that the 2 of you have some guilt for not trying to stay together for the sake of your son or something along this line. You 2 should let go and move on with your separate lives and do the best that you can at raising you son "apart".

Answer 3

If you were given an invitation she obviously has agreed to having you there. She would have fought it tooth and nail otherwise. I would go and show that you are very happy for them. Maybe once they say I do she won't feel so threatened by the relationship the two of you have. She should really appreciate the lack of the baby momma drama! I'd get her a special gift separate from the wedding gift just as a gesture of friendship between the two of you...after all she needs to know that you are happy that she will be a part of your son's life.

Answer 4

I believe that the bride will have to accept the fact that you are somewhat in the picture because you and your ex do have a child together. When she marries him she marries all the responsibilities that go along with him. She will have to learn to get along with you eventually because of the son you had together. So that is a situation that she will have to get over. You shouldn't have to miss a moment with your son because it makes someone else uncomfortable. Kids grow up too fast to miss anything.
I say she needs to get over it and accept it.
But I understand the other point too. Who wants the drama. But if she is any kind of person she wouldn't start anything on her wedding day.
Good Luck
Blending families is hard

Answer 5

I agree with JM. If you know for a fact that his soon to be wife would take offense to your being there, I don't believe that I would go. Just thank your ex for the invitation and ask for some pictures of your son on that day. Explain that you want no part in making the special day for his wife anything but special and would prefer not to be there. If in fact you decided to go after all, look to be mentioned as the wrong doer later down the road. Just my opinion. Good luck.

Answer 6

Since it is also the GROOMS day and he has a say in who HE invites to HIS wedding, if you and he are on friendly terms there is no reason not to go. The fact that his bride doesn't like you is HER problem not your's, your son probably wants you there as well...as his parent you should go in support of your son.

Answer 7

in case you want to proportion your day with them and it incredibly is not uncomfortable, choose for it. there are various nontraditional households obtainable and no person says you won't be in a position to be acquaintances in simple terms because of the fact which you had a newborn mutually. They style of incorporate your and your son could get excitement from seeing absolutely everyone united that day don't experience obligated to ask them even with the undeniable fact that, that must be an uncomfortable subject and that i think of absolutely everyone ought to have the skill to appreciate that having that reminder of your previous there won't be elementary to handle. you will hit upon different information on a thank you to be friendly. So, its extremely plenty in spite of you go with. i'm hoping each little thing works out :)

Answer 8

I think you need to go for your son's sake. I respect that you do not want to ruin the "bride's" day, but if she is going to be part of your son's life than you to need to get along and learn how to deal with each others presence. I wouldn't go to the reception if they are going to have one. Just the wedding so you can see your son.

Answer 9

I think you shouldn't go. You are right. It is the bride's day. You don't have any reason to be there. the son is there because his dad is getting married, which doesn't have anything to do with you. Let the bride have her day. If you were there it would take away from it.

Answer 10

go and be supportive and see your son and then after give the father a deep wet kiss and wish him good luck and pass the new bride some good ideas and reutrn with a clean hand in everything that went on that day