What would you do if your child did not belong to your husband? What if the other man is calling?

Question

I have a 2 year old and she does not belong to my husband biologically. He cheated on me and moved out for about 6 months, I had a sexual ralationship with another man and got pregnant. My husband has known the whole time. I found out I was pregnant before he moved back in and he still wanted to get back together. He treats her just like our other daughter. He doesn't seem bothered by the fact. I have not hidden anything from him. Recently I got a call from the man who is her biological father. He wants to know her and be in her life. He is not worth a dime. He is in and out of jail lately and on drugs. He is married now too and I have heard that he hits his wife. She has children from a previous relationship the I have heard he is really hard on. I told my husband and he wants to leave things as they are. He does not want this other man involved in our lives at all. I don't either really. She is not missing anything. She is well taken care of. What would you do? What are our rights?

My husband is on her birth certificate. She has his last name. No one knows this. This is our deep dark secret. My husbadn is good to her and this other man was a fling and not good enough for her. It is my fault but I don't know what to do. What do I do when she is older? What if she asks me? Then what....

Answer 1

Tell him that his involvment is not wanted nor needed. She has a happy family life and he doesn't need to ruin that for her. Change your number and move if you absolutely have to. When she gets older, you can explain to her your mistake and tell her why you kept it from her and that it helped keep your family together and that she has a very good daddy, just because he's not biologically doesn't mean anything. Just don't lie to her when she asks.

Answer 2

If the bio dad wants he can push the issue and go to court to fight for time with her. If he does there is nothing you can do to stop anything unless you can PROVE he is abusive, etc. Seems like all you have right now is gossip or hearsay, which doesn't prove anything.

You may not think she is missing anything, but she will reach an age where she wants to know her bio dad. All kids do and it doesn't matter how nice the live is you have given her, she will feel that connection to him and want to know him.

You may as well start considering now letting him spend time with her, supervised, until you are sure he is safe for her to be around. Or you can wait and I'm sure if he is serious you will end up on court over it all. Be ready. If he really wants contact there isn't much you can do to stop it.

Answer 3

Tell this fling to get lost. You don't need him screwing up your daughters life. Your husband sounds like a decent man to raise anthers child. Don't tell daughter that the man she calls Dad isn't.

If your husband is on the birth certificate then the other man would have to get lawyer, go to court and petition for DNA test. Let him know that if he is declared the Father you will expect child support until daughter is 18 and you will want past support too. That might scare him off.

Good Luck

Answer 4

First, I would fight to the death to keep an abusive drug addict away from my child.

Second of all, you deserve the stress, heartache and expenses that this situation is about to bring when the drug addict gets a lawyer and asks for joint custody. It's bad enough that you think getting pregnant was a way to get even with your husband for cheating but, you pick a drug an abusive drug addict that's in and out of jail to get you pregnant?

And most of all you have messed that child's life up beyond anything you can possibly imagine yet. I know from experience (as the child in a similar situation). You need to spend the rest of your life asking God and your child for forgiveness.

Before you go blowing me off as a judgemental jerk and give me a bad rating or report me for abuse, stop and think for a minute. I'm not the one that used a pregnancy to hurt other people. I'm like your little girl; a pregnancy designed to hurt others and left spending the rest of my life with my head hung in shame wondering what life had been like for me if my mother hadn't decided to act like a crazed whore one night.

Answer 5

I think she is legally your husband's daughter then, and you owe her biological father nothing. He isn't entitled to visitation, if you want to allow him visitation, that would be up to you. You could hold it in a supervised location and never allow her to be alone with him. If it is better for him not to be involved in her life, that is your call to make. He may be able to take you to court for visitation, but he'd have to go to that effort and prove he deserves it. What you tell you daughter is up to you as well. On one hand you could argue that she deserves to know her biological father, and at some point may have to when she's older, for health records, but on the other hand, it is your job to keep her safe, and if physically knowing him is not a safe option, maybe you could just wait and tell her when she's older. Call a lawyer to be sure. best wishes!

Answer 6

Being the biological father unless he legally gives up his rights he has legal rights to his child. Depending on the state you live in, the law may onsider your hubby to be the childs father because you are married but you need to check the law in your state. Ask the biological dude to give up rights (should have done this in the beginning) Good luck!

Answer 7

tell the guy that you want nothing to do with him and unless he can afford an attorney and a dna test then he will not have any rights to her.that your husband is on the birth certfcate and is in all ways her father.when your daughter is in her late teens ,tell her.she will have no reason to ask before then as long as that guy stays away.when you are pregnant and married the man you are with is the father legally,unless proven by dna.so you have done nothing wrong.

Answer 8

Tell him that if he wants to see your daughter that he will have to get a court order to do so, but be forewarned: if he involves the courts, you will too, and you will insure that child support payments come out of his paycheck every pay period for the next 16 years. That should cool his jets!

Answer 9

Tell him that if he wants to be a part of her life - that it also includes child support, which in Indiana - continues until the child is 21. That will make him definently think twice.

Answer 10

you ought to locate out what your criminal rights are so some distance as this guy having get right of entry to with the youngster. i could seek for advice from a kin criminal expert or your loved ones courtroom, they must be waiting to permit you comprehend what rights you have, and what rights he has. i could sense the comparable as you, your husband is her father now, however the regulation does not consistently see it that way. ordinarily i could say that even nonetheless your husband is a staggering father to her, she has each and every exact to comprehend her organic and organic father additionally. even with the undeniable fact that, in case you have concerns approximately her secure practices and wellbeing around this guy, then this is desires diverse attention. merely be conscious that throughout the time of maximum places, the only circumstances a organic and organic confirm is denied get right of entry to to a newborn is that in the event that they have harmed them in some way, or abandonment (or maybe this is iffy), in many circumstances he could ought to have executed some thing on your daughter. As lots of the different solutions pronounced, adoption by utilising your husband is an outstanding concept, yet her 'father' could ought to relinquish his parental rights for that to ensue. My wager is he does not want to try this, or he does not be asking to work out her now, so so which you are able to coach your self in case he demands to work out her. relatively, i could seek for advice from criminal help as quickly as you are able to. good success, i'm hoping each and every thing is going properly.