I just got married to a wonderful man that I dated fo 5 years. We took a break around the 4th year and I started to date someone else for about 3 months or so (my moms neighbor). The new guy and I ended up breaking up over unknown reasons (a stupid fight one night). And we havent talked since. I ended up getting back with my now husband and we have been happily married ever since. My problem is that I sometimes (a few times a week) think of this ex. What should i do to help these unresolved issues. I love my husband with all my heart and would never want to be with anyone else. I just dont know why i think of my ex. Any suggestions?
2007-07-23 01:50:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, I think this is normal. The most recent "ex" is someone that will be replaying in my memory, even if I am with someone now. Especially since there was no real falling out, just a fight or so.
The memory will fade eventually, but when you think of other guys you've been with, you will probably think of him... Dont think its a sign that you arent over him... he was a part of your life and everyone thinks about the past at some point. Just understand that he is an ex for a reason and dont ever leave the one you love to "try to find out".
You'll be fine.
good luck
2007-07-23 02:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that I understand.
Sometimes we tend to remember the best of a relationship and that's not all bad. The problem arises when one decides to act on those and learns that it's false.
There's an old axiom.
"There are some things in life that we can only enjoy once.
We can never go back for a second helping".
I've lived with memories for the past 5 years. Will never marry again. I have to stop myself at times and realize that it was never what I thought it was. I was married, she was not.
She remarried and went through an abusive husband and a bad divorce. I never wished that, but I think she may have created some of it.
All I ever did was love her.
Ya, I understand.
Remember, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 09:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by ed 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This kind of thing happens to a lot of people. I wish I knew WHY, but there is no known reason. I know that part of it is that when a good relationship ends suddenly, you're left without closure, and over time you tend to "idealize" the person, and make them perfect in your mind, when in reality they weren't for you...because if the Ex was for you, then HE'D be your husband now. It's normal, and you may remember him for the rest of your life, but anyone who's not willing to stick around for the long haul isn't really worth it. Keep it as a memory, just don't let it get in the way of the relationship you have now (although it sounds like you ARE happy).
2007-07-23 08:55:58 · answer #3 · answered by Love to Answer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well just because you occasionally think about someone else doesnt mean that your a bad person or that you dont love your husband. You spent a lot of time with this other guy and hes part of your past so naturally your going to think about him now and again. Maybe you need to talk to this other guy just so you can have some closure on that relationship. That way you can move on with your life and your husband whom you obviously love.
2007-07-23 09:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by Sparkles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always greener on the other side. In other words, you're married now but you're wondering if you made a mistake by marrying the man you did so you fantasize about your ex. (even though you love your husband) This is normal in everyday life and in stressful & boring times in your marriage you may do this often. As long as you don't act on it & start cheating with your ex or another man--this is fine. We all have fantasies--they help get us through life--and they are normal and harmless as long as not made into reality.
2007-07-23 09:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by countrywebbarbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This just means (well not really)
that the reason why you still think about him is either
a. you want to remember what the fight was all about
b. you feel kind of guilty for not talking with him and not settling things out
c. what if you kept him instead, what will happen now?
I'm not really sure ok, but it most likely suitable with 'b', hey you said you love your husband with all your heart and I'm just suggesting from what you said to my opinion
Hope I helped :D
I'm not married, I'm not even dating
I'm 13 T.T
so please don't go the wrong way... thank you :D
2007-07-23 09:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by CuRiOUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might still have feelings for him. And since you guys didnt end the relationship in a good way it makes you think of him. You should call him up and apologize and still be friends. You guys should chat on the computer or on the phone every now and then, and it should help your worries go away.
But only talk to him on the phone if your hubby is comfortable with it
2007-07-23 08:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you haven't had any other boyfriends besides those two then it sounds pretty normal to me. You'll just have to deal with it I guess. What else can you do? Ignore those thoughts when you get them or stop worrying about them. It's not a big deal.
2007-07-23 08:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by Iczer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking isnt a problem as long as you dont act on it. I still think of my ex once in a while or some sexy lady that I might have seen, but thats ok as long as its just "thinking".
2007-07-23 08:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by awjandbjj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i guess because of the way it ended.this happens to me too the mind is not ours to control sometimes.when this happens read or go for a walk or give your guy a big kissâ¥
2007-07-23 21:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋