Any thing goes!
2007-07-23 00:32:02 · 15 answers · asked by Flowers 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Better late than never :-)
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
2007-07-23 04:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jim 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
might of told u this one already but here goes.
a bonde goes into the hair dresser and asks for a hir cut. the hair dresser says mame please remove the headphones so i can cut your hair. blonde replies sorry i cant. so the hair dresser starts cutting the hair around the headphones. then she realizes the coustomer is a sleep and she removes the head phones. a few min later the blonde is dead. the on site paramedics picked up the head phones and it said breath in breath out, breath in breath out...enjoy
2007-07-23 07:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by prince charming 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay a girl was waiting for a bus with the guy behind her. when the bus came she could not get on so she went to the zipper in the back of her skirt and undead a little. she still could not get on so she undo it some more. she still could not get on the bus so she undid it some more. than the guy behind her picked her up and carried her on the bus. the girl said " hey what was that for" and the guy said I thought we were good friends and she just undid my pants three Times
2007-07-23 07:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Always have a parrot in your bedroom to know if you're being cheated on unless your partner loves your first name...
By the way, the jokes and riddle section would suit you well without spending points!
2007-07-23 07:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a farmer goes into his bedroom to the wife with a sheep under his arm
he says "this is the pig i have to f**k when your not up for s3x"
the wfe replys "i think you'll find that pig is a sheep"
the farmer laughs and replys"i think you'll find i was talking to the sheep"
now thats one funny joke ond one of my favs
hope your laughing xxxxx
oh yeah good morning hun xx
2007-07-23 07:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by bullbusbutt 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why are men still necessary?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
2007-07-23 07:37:04 · answer #6 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knock Knock
Who's there
Eve
Eve Who
Eve ho here we go
no i don't get it either
but my names eve and that's in this joke book i have so it's the noly joke i tell
2007-07-23 07:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by SmileeSuzyy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is an old couple in a church
the old woman whispers to her husband "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?"
her husband shouts "TURN YOUR DAMN HEARING AID ON"
2007-07-23 07:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by Harren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not a joke,its more like a comeback. when someone is being a moron i say "hey please dont let your mind wander,its too small to be out on its own. lmao!! it just cracks me up and it usually puts "the moron" in their place. hehe!! to steve spoc: personal add: seeking a vibrator with an income!! that would be my ideal mate!! lmao!!!
2007-07-23 07:38:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are blond jokes only one liners
so men can understand them
just kidding guys
2007-07-23 07:38:13 · answer #10 · answered by notrighttome 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋