Is it possible for mams to not care about there daughters, because thats honestly how i feel. My mam and dad are devorced so my mam lives in another house and i feel she has out up so many barriers towards me after the devorce.
I try to tell her how heart breakin it was bringing myself up to be a woman for 4years without her help, and all she says is how it made her feel. I dont get an apoplogy or any sypmpathy for whats happened. This cuts me up inside and really confuses me. Does a woman like this deserve a daughters (my) love?
2007-07-23 00:24:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, it is possible for a mother to have a lack of maternal feelings- she loves you but in her own way and obviously not in the way that you need. How old are you? Do you have any other adult women in your life to be confidantes and to give you advice? If you want to maintain a relationship with your Mam you may have to simply accept the fact that she is self-absorbed and sees what goes on in the world only as it affects her. My own daughter left three young boys- but I know she loves them- she's simply not confident enough in herself as a person and as a mother to be maternal towards them. It's sad but in a world that focuses on how we can make ourselves happy, more and more women are looking for answers to their own unhappiness issues- to the neglect of their own children. Make up your mind right now that YOU won't follow in her footsteps, tell yourself that YOU are important, and go live your life. It may help to get some counseling along the way! Good luck! Be strong!
2007-07-23 00:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by jheneka 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, there are those few mother's who don't give a **** about the kids that they have and I am one of them. Growing up, my father wasn't anywhere in the picture, my mother ran him off before I was born. Growing up my mother would down me because I looked and acted like my father. Which as a child was hard to hear since I never got to meet my father. Anyway since then i have grown up gotten married and have 4 children whom their grandmother has chosen NEVER to see. And have tried several things to let her know that I love her but she has chosen not to have anything to do with me. That is her choice not mine. Although during the years I have tried to make ammends (because I figured I'd be the bigger person) she still has NEVER really been in my life. It hurts but it sounds like you have become a very bright and caring young woman and it maybe hard for you to feel that she doesn't love you at all and you maybe right in a way. All you can really do is move on and try to remember the good times that you have had with her. The love for your mother will never go away afterall she is your mother. Try to keep an open mind and maybe your mother will come around. If she never does then you know that you tried. Good Luck!!
2007-07-23 03:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should she apologize or give you sympathy? She did what she thought was best, maybe it wasn't best or maybe it was. Divorce can be heartbreaking for children, but so can being raised by a pair of dysfunctional and thouroughly miserable parents. In fact, the latter can be much more damaging.
Your feelings are not hers to fix. You are the only one in the world who is responsible for your happiness. Smarten up, needy people are easy victims.
Does she deserve your love? Love is not something that is about deserving or undeserving. You either love someone or you don't.
Does she deserve a relationship with you? Does she want one? Do you care for one yourself? If not, then don't have one.
Adult children do not need their mothers.
2007-07-23 00:35:47 · answer #3 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you brought yourself up to be a woman , was your mother not where around..?
If you feel you have raised yourself, which I do not think you did, You are wanting to be an adult now, am I right. Which means you can understand that your parents divorce was about THEM and NOT you.
Yes, it involved you but was not about YOU! Your heart broken..? How do you think it makes your mother feel. ?
Some people do not talk about there feelings, even mothers. that does NOT make them bad parents or bad people. It is just the way they are...
Yes, she deserve your love, she is your mother, Good and bad parts..
2007-07-23 00:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are old enough to move on be a better person some people are not good at apologies but if you feel she isnt even apologitic in side the if she seems like she doesnt love you then just stay away from her i have a dad that way but they have been divorced for years my kids dont even like him and he has money and all the good things in life but the one thing he doesnt is family all he has is is new wife and that is it and i survive i am better of without him he makes me miserable to be around like i am not worthy well he had not part in the raising of me so why be nice now you will learn if it gives you heartache then write her off i know she your mom but why have all that heartache when it can be prevented
2007-07-23 00:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by LOLO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mum and you should worry less about your feelings and more about your education at this point. I don't mean this as an offense, but you need to stop viewing your personnal problems as an excuse not to do your homework, because education is what you will really need in your life. So please start reading, improve your spelling and grammar, this is an honest advice for someone your age. As for your mum, you must realise that she has personal problems too, you can't expect her to be perfect. You have to come to terms with the fact that your mum is only human!
2007-07-23 00:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mom is hurt, confused and or doesn't
know what to do. Could be she is afraid of something and she doesn't know how to handle it. Try not to take it personally until you find some clues.
Set up some time to be with her. Talk to her about herself, see what is keeping her from you and perhaps she will open up.
Discuss something with her that you could use her advice on. See if she gives you any insight into your problem.
Let's hope she gives you what you want
Good luck!
2007-07-23 00:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Reo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its is absolutely not true as every mother is different.
No matter what, you should still respect her and communicate and reach out to her in hope that things would reconcile.
Some mothers go the extra mile to assist their daughter in any difficulty at hand.
Perhaps, you could talk to a close friend to speaking to a counselor or to someone whom is understanding.
Just pray to god for help and guardians.
Take care.
2007-07-23 00:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents never apoligise or give me sympathy either, so i wouldn't worry about it. some people just aren't as open as others so don't worry about it. yes, ok so perhaps that means that you can't talk about your feelings to anyone, but at the end of the day they are your feelings and only you can work out how to make them better.
2007-07-23 00:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can "MAM" know about YOUR feelings?!?!?!?
2007-07-23 00:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋