Hey, you guys...?

Question

I'm going to do the dishes. Give me something funny to read when I get back, please. It's pretty boring around here at this time...
=-)
Love!

Answer 1

Last Sunday I went to my ex boyfriend's house for his daughter's 3rd birthday party. After the gifts were opened and cake was served, I excused myself to go to the bathroom to pee. After figuring out how to get the potty training seat off the toilet, I did my business and pulled up my pants.

When I flushed, however, the water didn't go down, it came up and (luckily!) stopped prior to spilling over. I figured it's no big deal because such things happen with toilets sometimes, but upon looking around the bathroom I found no plunger. I'm not easily embarrassed but my cheeks became red as I realized what I had to do. I walked into the living room and leaned in to whisper to Matt, "Where do I find a plunger?" He stated that there should be one in the bathroom and I told him there was not. "Go downstairs then, it's probably in that one."

Downstairs I go and sure enough there's the plunger. I bring it back upstairs feeling very much as though I'm marching said tool past 3 other adults and a few kids and while walking past I caught the attention of two of the children. They followed me into the bathroom while I attempted to make the water go down. "What are you doing, Beth? What's that? What are you doing?"

Well the plunger wasn't doing a damn thing and for some reason I had this flash of brilliance which told me that I should try to flush again because sometimes toilets do these things, so I flush again and to my horror and dismay the water doesn't go down, it just continues to climb up and now over the edge. I stepped out into the hallway and said, "Matt... we have a problem."

It's embarrassing enough that I'm now in this position, but what's even worse is that the water is a little... well... red. I don't want to disgust you and I’ll let you fill in the details, but this particular detail makes what would be horrifying downright mortifying to me. I'm 32, I shouldn't be such a girl, but I am!

He was a sport about it and fixed the problem, but I still felt like a horse's a*s. I'm not easily embarrassed but it's easily one of the most embarrassing moments that I've had.

I can laugh about it now but at the time I couldn't. I hope it put a smile on your face. :)

Answer 2

Biology 102

A lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.


PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.


TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.


HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go any where, you have to light a fire under their butt.


SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.


WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.


TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.


EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.


HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.


THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Answer 3

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're ******' fired!

Answer 4

Here's my favorite joke in the whole world.

So a pirate walks into a bar and the guy's got a steering wheel sticking out of the fly of his pants.

The Bartender looks up and says, "Hey man, doesn't that bother you?"

The Pirate says to him, "Yar! It's drivin me nut!"

Hahaha ... get it? Drivin me nuts!?

Answer 5

No Mexican Jews !!!

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?"

Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Do you have any Mexican Jews?"

The waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks."

He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said, "No sir, no Mexican Jews."

Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"

The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos," gave the expected
answer, "I will check again, Senor!"
and went back into the kitchen.

While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico . Our people are scattered everywhere."

The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews."

"Are you certain?" Al asked once again.

"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."

Answer 6

hi
there is a guy who has blue hair named E on Yahoo! Answers.....isn;t that funny enough?
i am just kiddin.

Answer 7

How can it be boring in beautiful downtown Arlington?

Answer 8

ok


why are men not supposed to do the dishes ?

cause its a woman's job..



LOL