Throughout the course of our 3 year marriage, my ex left me three times. Now, one year after the divorce he is emailing me and calling me and seems to want to be friends. Why?
2007-07-22 19:37:23 · 14 answers · asked by adodd8 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No kids and we live in different states
2007-07-22 20:00:41 · update #1
my ex called me 8 months after he told me to never to speak to him again, its probably because he misses you and cant stop thinking about you, maybe he wants to be more than friends, maybe not, ask him
2007-07-22 19:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Source:http://myspace.com/creaturemermaid...
2007-07-23 02:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi adodd8,
There are many reasons why you're ex is emailing u again. 1st, inspite of all the nasty things that transpired leading to the divorce, im sure there were many fond memories as well. 2nd, feelings don't just die..it might lay dormant but anytime it can be revived. That should explain why lots of "ex" when they meet again resumed their relationship. Because the feelings were there all the time & it takes ur meeting each other again to reactivate it. 1 year is a long time for soul searching. 365 nights of thinking, reminiscing is not a joking matter.. he might be missing u & is thinking of a 2nd romance (but he's not rushing things) or he knows he screwed up that last time & just wants u to know how sorry he is. My advise to accept his emails & resume the friendship. Remember for 3 years u were husband & wife. What's the worse that can happen?
2007-07-23 02:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One reason why people say the standard "We can still be friends, right?" phrase is to protect their own feelings. Whether they have feelings towards you or not, saying that they still want to be friends is a way of shielding themselves from the reality that you aren't together anymore. It can also be a way of convincing themselves that they are not a 'monster' for wanting to discontinue the relationship - by saying that they still wish to talk to you, they are telling themselves that they are still a good person. It is almost a form of denial.
However, another could be that, although they do not want to be attatched romantically (not the right time, one of you is moving away, etc)they still enjoy your company and do wish to remain close to you. Although this is initially a good idea in theory, you have to decide how YOU feel. If you still feel strongly for the other person, it may be best for your sake to reduce contact for a while. You can't keep pretending to yourself that you are 'just friends' because the only person you are fooling is yourself, and this is going to cause further pain.
Good luck with your situation, I wish you all the best.
2007-07-23 02:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by pathawkinsau 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be honest, I have never been married. However, did you guys have a lot of drama? Maybe he's so over the bull crap that he really does just want to be friends. I want to be friends with my ex because his current girlfriend is my friend and we are DONE and that's all there is to it, we cut the ties move on and be normal liek nothing happened.
2007-07-23 02:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Jen22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have children together? that could be a huge reason. Could be hes over you now or he wants closure or he wants you back or he just wants to be civil either way so what? PS Thats the 3rd time Princess Mermaid has used those same poems , sayings etc FUN-NY!
2007-07-23 02:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why he is doing this doesn't matter. The questions you might want to put some thought into are: What could you possibly gain by taking these calls? What could you lose? Why would you bother?
Take care!
2007-07-23 02:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mytmel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't guess at it just straight up ask him why are you contacting me. He may still like you or he may want to lead you on so if you definately want to know just ask him......don't string him along. Things get ugly when that happens.
2007-07-23 02:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by likewhoa88 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he realized that the grass really isn't greener on the other side. Maybe he wants you back? Good Luck!
2007-07-23 02:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by sealegs32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be trying to get back with u, and by saying he just wants to be your friend he is protecting his ego, just in case u reject him. he doesn't want to tell u the real reason but its because he misses u and regrets leaving.
2007-07-23 05:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋