We used to hang out with people a lot more, but now that we have a baby it seems like nobody ever calls anymore. Does this happen to other people? I'm starting to feel sort of self-conscious about it because I'm used to having more contact with people. People seem to like our baby and he's usually not annoying (unless he's tired). But since he came along, nobody seems interested in hanging out anymore. Has anyone else experienced this when you had a new baby?
2007-07-22 18:18:44 · 21 answers · asked by Byakuya 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Yeah, it's difficult. Very few of our friends have kids yet and so we're kind of the odd man (or couple) out. I've been trying to initiate more things myself because I think our friends just aren't sure if they're bothering us or if we'd even be available to do things anymore.
Supposedly when your child starts interacting with other kids then you meet their parents and start to form a new circle of friends. I find that kind of sad and am not ready to head down that road yet. Perhaps someday.
In the meantime, be sure to keep calling your friends and planning things. They probably just don't want to bother you and aren't sure what to do at this point. It's got to be weird being the ones without kids trying to figure out what the other people do that have kids.
Good luck to you! (Too bad we're not friends! ha ha!)
2007-07-22 18:44:59 · answer #1 · answered by ad 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We experienced similar things, and we are an older couple also dealing with eldercare at the time we had our child. Most people our ages are already grandparents. So that was pretty strange. I found other groups like Le Leche League (since I was nursing my child)... met new people at the local school districts "Birth to Five" program (I don't know if this is state wide or Federally mandated, but if it's a Federal program, would be worth checking into as they can send a social worker out to visit and to provide information on gatherings where you can meet other couples with babies your ages..
There was another group that I heard of but never got to go, something about MOPS Mothers of Preschoolers ? so that may be of benefit.
Really the ones who will want to hang out are ones who are going through similar experiences - because the single ones you used to hang out will feel like they don't have any thing more in common since they don't have a baby etc.
Hang in there!
2007-07-22 18:26:00 · answer #2 · answered by MsDrPepper 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is normal, when a child comes into someones life it is altered its a given. The people who used to hang out with you before now see you as a parent and they probably dont want to take your time away from your new baby. Things will change not only your friends but other experiences you used to have before the baby came. Dont be scared or worry too much you will adjust to your new changes just give it a little time. Wish you luck and the best of my wishes, oh and congratulations.
2007-07-22 18:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by D S♦T♦A♦R♦S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal...try hanging out with people who have little babies as well. It's more fun to be around people who have the same in common with you.
Some folks feel like they're intruding when they call you...they never know when you are napping with your baby, and they don't want to accidentally wake you or the baby. Don't worry...things will get better with your social life!
2007-07-22 18:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by futureteacher0613 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ohhh hun, it's so normal.. you just have to have a different kind of social life...make new friends with other mommies that have babies the same age as yours....sure your single friends(or friends w/out kids) like your baby, but mostly they could care less about the fact that your baby can smile, burp, hold his head up etc...) so having mommie friends is the way to go...
your a different person now, and busy with baby so some people may think that your too busy for them... call your friends and have some grown up time once a week...
Good luck and congrats!
oopps.. should've checked your profile 1st your a dude.. do mommie= daddy friends...
2007-07-22 18:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by allyn h 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its totally normal. People kinda back off once you have children because the first few months you need to spend as much time with them as possible they are still your freinds they are just letting you handle your business. Remember you have a little one now and the tiem you have with them whiel they are little you will never get back. If they are really your friends they know that this is an important part. best wishes! and congrads!
2007-07-22 19:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by mother of twin girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, especially if your friends don't have kids. Dont worry though, you've got someone who really needs you now and for the rest of their life. Try a 'mommy and me' class to meet other people your age with children
2007-07-22 20:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by Kmmv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happened to us! As soon as I had my baby I was in a different group! All my friends who didn't have babies felt uneasy and didn't want to hear my constant stories about my baby who is my life now. So, eventually they all stopped calling except for a couple friends. I say screw em!
2007-07-22 18:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by ♥§weetiepie♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal.
You have other things to do and hanging out will have to be something special now, not just something that is normal anymore.
It sucks, but it is the way it is.
GL to you and i hope you get to have more of a social life, doubt it but i hope so.
2007-07-22 18:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by kissmeagainnow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
social life? havent had one of those in 5 years ( my son is 5!!) It does pick up a little bit as friends have children or as your lttle bubbie gets a little bigger. Never the same as what is was though. Dont panic I think it happens to everyone....
2007-07-22 18:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by Iamme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋