I want to just show up at her door and talk ask why?? I tried to email her and talk to her on the phone and she will not talk to me. I just feel like it will bring some peace of mind? Im I stupid??
2007-07-22 18:17:48 · 53 answers · asked by angel 2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you are NOT stupid, you are hurt. But I wouldn't bother doing that...I would just LET IT GO! Put yourself above all that, and move forward with your life! Do what is best for YOU!
2007-07-22 18:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she won't talk to you, then she has very little to offer you. If you confront her, chances are she will not sit down with you and have a heart to heart. She could lash out and say some very hurtful things to your face, and make you feel all the worse for showing up at her doorstep, stooping to her level - afterall, is she the kind of person who has *anything* of value to offer to you? Probably not.
Furthermore, if she hasn't been cooperative in talking so far, then if you put her on the spot unwillingly, you would never be able to know if what she says is true anyway, or just said out of anger and spite. She could tell you alot of very hurtful lies and distortions that will mess with you even worse. You want peace of mind, and that is understandable, but you're looking in the wrong place. This valueless wh*re did not respect the sanctity of your marriage and does not believe in respect and honesty. It does not seem like she has much to offer you at all.
You need to hear the truth from your husband, you deserve that much. Its really tough, to be waiting on the full truth that you deserve, and if you two are still together and trying to work things out, it will be one long tough road of reconcilliation, but in the end it will be worth it. You do not need this woman, she cannot bring you peace, and you are already a far better person than she is.
You're not stupid at all, THEY were. What you're going through is a very traumatic event. You need to know the all of the truth because you are trying to make sense of things and how this could have ever happened. It will take time, but you don't need this woman to put your life back together again - she tore it apart to begin with!
2007-07-22 18:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anne H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that you would feel better by confronting her and give her a piece of your mind. Make sure you have your composure and do not get angry and lose control. You can go with your sister or a girlfriend instead of alone. You wldnt know the outcome until you do it. She might feel guilty and realise that she is wrong and leave your husband or she might just continue the affair. Then it will be the right time to contemplate divorce .... at that time, you will be more sure of the situation and easier to make the decision.
2007-07-25 07:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by Sal SR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should confront the woman your husband cheated with because who knows what you might do to this woman when your in a rage. The person you should be talking to is your husband after all he is your husband and even though this woman was a part of this affair confronting her will only make things worse. The only piece of mind you can give yourself is to divorce your husband for cheating that way you know it will never happen again.
2007-07-22 18:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by friendlygrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bigger question is how are you taking it out on your husband. -Many women forget that it is their husbands that cheated and not the woman. -Yeah, she's a dirty whore especially if she knew that he was married but that doesn't mean that she's the total blame. -You should beware of confrontations like that though because you don't know what kind of person you are approaching. You'd do better to confront her in a more public place than at her home. -Good luck though, be sure that you are calm when you talk to her when/if you speak to her. -Don't let that person know that she affected you so badly, some people feed off of that.
2007-07-22 18:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by monmonth. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can if you want but I don't recommend it. She could call police and claim you are stalking or threatening her, even though you are not. If you are on her property, you will be "at fault". The main one to confront is your husband. I don't know why so many women want to blame the "other woman" when it's the husband who has cheated. Frankly, I say let her have him as long as you get enough money and material belongings. Get a lawyer and "take him to the cleaners". Then let her have his broke behind. He's not worth it.
2007-07-22 18:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did and it did make me feel better. I didn't let her think that I was destroyed by this...I just let her know (without childish name calling), what I feel about her. I told her that there were consequences to having an affair with a married man and that I hope she remembers I said that when they come around. She apologized. I advised her that God could forgive her if she repented and asked and that someday so could I, but that she really needs to evaluate her life.
I felt like a million bucks after I did it. It was like a weight was lifted from me. I did not let her speak. I let her know that after what she had done, the least she could do would be to be quiet and let me say what I had to say. She did and then when she thought it was her turn to speak, I advised that no rebuttal or explaination could possibly be acceptable to me, so I didn't want to hear it...and I walked away. It really felt great!
2007-07-22 18:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid, it's human nature to want to know why. If she doesn't want to talk, then don't push the issue. Chances are she's too ashamed to face you or she just wants to avoid contact with you because sh'e afraid. It's one thing to knowingly do something wrong as opposed to facing the person that you have wronged. It makes it too real, something she can't deal with. You may have to just deal with it on your own, sometimes it's better not knowing why because it will hurt you more than you've already been hurt. Besides, a lot of times the answer to why? is a frustrating "because".
2007-07-22 18:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stupid. Your actions give her the idea that she has won a battle, you are wounded, and pitiful. So stop with the followup...this is your husband's fault, regardless of what she has done to encourage him..he is the one who stepped out on you, not her! Either belt her good, or leave her alone. Like Loretta Lynn sang, "don't mess around with my man if you don't want to go to fist city." As for me, I would ignore her completely, like a tick in life...she is nothing but vermin, and vermin can either be exterminated or deprived of food. Take away the food and she will run away.
2007-07-22 18:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Angel you are not stupid, as the matter of fact you are angry because your husband took away your trust. This other woman is avoiding you because she knows that she did wrong and can't face you. Now if it will help you to face her,just go to her house so you can see and justify your needs.
When I found out my husbands affair,I was angry like you, I called his wh##e and tell her to apologize to my teenager's, at first she didn't because my husband told her to stick with the story that they were only friends??.yeah right just friends that can screw each others...but I did face her and thought her a lesson..............good luck!1
2007-07-22 18:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have decided to stay with your husband then don't bother. You may find out some things that could further hurt you. Besides, she will never be able to give you an answer that you'll be happy with. Put that energy into making your marriage stronger. Don't give her the satisfaction of your time on her.
2007-07-22 18:23:44 · answer #11 · answered by shon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋