My husband recently cheated on me with a co-worker and how do I get over it and how do I trust him again?

Question

He claimed to be in love with her and almost left me for her. He lied to me twice and kept in contact with her so how do I believe now it is truly over?

Answer 1

I hate to say this, but he has cheated, then lied....I am the first to forgive and forget, but I don't think he is going to stop. Sorry to be so blunt, and I know you do not want to hear this, but think about it carefully. You must decide if you can tolerate a life with a husband who will be falling in love with this one or that one for the rest of your life. You have no reason to believe you will ever be secure in your life. You have to determine if you are better off with him or without him. I know what I would decide, but that makes no difference here...this is your decision. You will NEVER trust him again, and I am not so sure you should.

Answer 2

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.


Source:http://myspace.com/creaturemermaid...

Answer 3

You don't sweetie, it will be hard for you to believe him all over again. Right now the trust that you have is gone. And by the way I do am sorry for what's going thought with you. Like your husband said, he loves the other woman, so it means that he is deeply emotionally involve with her. And the sad news of it is,your husband will not stop communicating with her.
How you get over it???.you can't,but times will help you ease that pain. Trust him?/ like what i said you can't right now or if there will be..Right now all you need to do is be more stronger than him, yes it will be hard because he betrayed you but take care of yourself now and by doing this you can go through with this.
And remember this,your not the only one who's having a problem with husband cheating,coz I'm on the same boat as you. This man that I married also had an affair not to long ago and I also found out that he fell in love with the married woman that he had the affair with. He thought he can come back to us when I discovered his affair,but he lost..........so if I were you,search your heart whether you can live with him or not..

Answer 4

believe me when i say, i know how what your going through! I wish I could tell you that it will pass and it might, but it has taken me six years to "get over it", (you never get over it)! but time has healed some the wounds. Mine did leave me, but we have been back together for 6 yrs, and its better than ever! The trust issue is the hardest thing to deal with, #1 he does not need to still be working with her, if he truly wants to make the marriage work he will do whatever it takes!
Pray to God to give you the peace and patience you will need to get through this, because nothing else will help , people will tell you counseling or therapy and maybe it can help you, God is the only way I made it through it then and He is still the only way I get thru it every time my husband walks out the door. Good Luck

Answer 5

You DONT believe it until it's been proven to you. And that "crazy" up there that says once a cheater, always a cheater knows nothing. People change for the better sometimes and a cheater is no different. Make sure that he knows what love you hold for him and what he would be losing by leaving you. Once this is completed and if he still cheats, then waste no time in seeking the help of a lawyer.

Answer 6

The most notable thing about cheating is that cheating is actually theft and lying as well, most cheaters have all three negative attributes. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, and your husband should have had enough respect for you to distance himself , rather than to entertain the thought and follow through with adultery.

In this situation, keep in mind,,, that what he has done to you, he will do to her.. so it is NOT you, nor is it a reflection on your lovability, but it is a reflection on his committment to do the right thing by you, a person he promised to love.


I would leave immediately not even think of reconciliation. Take care of yourself now even more than ever, since he failed to take care of you.

Answer 7

I might by no means confront her and permit her to suppose I spent greater than a millisecond considering her. Your husband is the person who need to take the bull by way of the horns and confront her. He must of direction no longer say you're "making" him do it. He must inform her he has heard from the opposite employees that she is making those feedback. She must preserve her feedback to herself as it is a position of industrial and hence irrelevant. Tell her she is disrespectful of him and his marriage and to be able to no longer be tolerated and not anything will ever come of it. Be mindful the females that do that will frequently trace to the others that there's actually whatever happening. The lady hopes this may occasionally get again to you and infuriate you to the factor of tossing him out. Your husband might effortlessly be represented by way of her to the others as a liar and a cheater and is sneaking round to be together with her. These females financial institution on not anything will probably be stated on your husband considering it might be irrelevant for a co-employee to inform your husband he's a jerk or inquire into what's relatively happening. Most guys haven't any notion what a few psycho chicks will do to get what they wish. He must constantly preclude being by myself together with her at the back of a closed door. This IS sexual harassment within the paintings position and most commonly is going unreported. Your husband must tell his manager/trade proprietor this is going on. Keep your informant blissful and speaking on your husband and to you.

Answer 8

OH HONEY!!! Just got done dealing with that SAME EXACT ordeal! I'm sure I can help you or at least lend an ear, but not on here. I won but it was not easy. I'm glad I did not give up. Contact me email at [e-mail]. I'll help you as best I can and let you in on alot of ways to find out what you want.

Answer 9

IF they are still working together you don't. They will still be seeing each other and I am wondering what changed he mind about a divorce in the first place. Maybe she got mad at him but she will get over it and then they will be back at it again. You should find someone else.

Answer 10

Sweetie, There's no nice way of putting this, you can't trust him..I personally know through experience, My ex hubby had a ongoing fling with a co-worker.he had developed an imotional attachment to her, told her all our problems..life with him was unbearable..The way I found out about them was I happen to find a videotape hidden in the car ,It was a sex tape they made.And it tore me apart..Your hubby obviously didn't care that he's made a fool of you..you need to let him go ..you deserve so much better than that!