How do you forget an unhappy childhood and move on with a happy adult life?

Question

Real life experience is a plus.

Answer 1

Let me let you in on something that I have discovered. There are some things you are never going to forget. I found a quote which I like which goes like this....

"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." ~ Michel de Montaigne

I grew up in an abusive family and have bipolar disoder as well as a personality disorder which was in part caused by the environment I grew up in. I have spent much of my life trying "NOT" to be many things, not to be my mom, not to be violent, not to be ignorant of what was going on around me and the list goes on.

There are certain memories I will never forget and trying to forget them seems to give them more airtime. I found a really good therapist this year, told many of my secrets and then worked to learn many of the skills that I never did as a child.

I learned that if I wanted to be happy I had to stop waiting for someone to make me happy and go after it myself. It a hard thing, to give up that dream that you have always had about things working out.

There are setbacks for me all the time, weeks where I shake my head a look in the mirror and wonder why I won't just wake up and get it, when this is going to become easy. It isn't though.

A bad childhood is an increibly hard thing to overcome, because it leaves scars in the most unlikely places. You eventually must decide if you want to live in the past or the present.

I know I still fluxuate but I work very hard to stay in the present and not keep so many secrets. Recognition is the first step.

Answer 2

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RE:
How do you forget an unhappy childhood and move on with a happy adult life?
Real life experience is a plus.

Answer 3

think carefully about your present - approaching life with happy, bright, earnest, energy will cause success. On the other hand, allowing morbid depression from the past to sully your current endeavours will casuse them to fail. Which do you want? How to forget an unhappy childhood? Just do it, dude! You never forget the events, but you must forgive the emotions. See it all with a stoney and neutral heart like on a sceen. realise that those who hurt you were themselves screwed up and in pain. Forgive, and if you cant forgive then at least try and underestand with adult eyes what was really happening back then. Dont let things that cannot be changed (the past) affect what can (your present and future). I have had lots of experience BTW

Answer 4

forget unhappy childhood move happy adult life

Answer 5

I'm 14, and not in "adulthood" yet. But, I am already trying to forget a few years of my life. Last year my bestfriend of 7 years died. She was only 15. When I was 11 my dad abandoned me, after many years of verbal abuse. I don't know how I will move on. I already am realizing how I do not trust men, and I find it hard to get close to people. It feels like everyone I become close to just leaves. I never talk about how I feel. I've learned it's just easier to keep everything to myself, then to try and actually have people understand how I feel. Because they can't even fathom the pain and the hurt and the lonelyness I feel everyday of my life. It appears to people I'm just being dramatic. When I honestly dread every day of my life. I don't know how I will move on from this. But I hope I will.

Answer 6

You don't forget an unhappy childhood. You learn to accept and move on. There is no way to change the past, however the choices you make will determine what happens in the future. You can choose to live in the past or choose to move forward.
Good luck,
Eric

Answer 7

Well, i may not be a best person to answer you. But i would like to express what i feel. Looking at your words i can say that you love your family very much. But there is no point in getting too serious about PAST. Bcz it has just happened and you cant change it. As your parents are living the way they want why really go sick for them..? But i am not asking you to neglect or forget them. But it's about concentrating about your life and your future. Just think yourself how much time you are wasting thinking of past and how that time will help you in your life. Start loving yourself bcz no one else can love you as much you do yourself and you don't have worry of losing it. Just keep in touch with them (parents) like over phone or casual visit. The life is all about change as i have seen it.(i cant tell my case though..!!)

Answer 8

You don't forget, but as time passes you think about it less. There are other things to take up your time so you don't dwell on it. It will always be part of your life, and it is one of the things that make you who you are now.
You realize that what's done is done, and you go on with your life.