Son doesn't work want help around home in trouble with the law
2007-07-22 13:52:01 · 11 answers · asked by big boy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No you do not let him move in. He's 20 and old enough to survive on his own. If he's in trouble with the law, he's only bringing that trouble into your home. Talk to your husband, voice your opinion, tell you understand he wants to help his son, but enabling him to continue on the path he's on by not forcing him to work or help out, will only lead to more trouble with the law and the two of you for that matter. If that fails, tell him that this is not what you signed up for and it's simply not going to happen. Remind your husband that he's 20 and unless he shows some sign of change, question why he thinks allowing his son to bring his drama into your home is a good thing.
It's not going to be easy honey, but you stand your ground...unless there are unusual circumstances surrounding this child. And by that I mean health or mental issues. I'm not cold and heartless, but I am a social worker, who sees parents enabling their children way too much. It truly impairs the child, and gives the child a comfort zone. So much so, that they end up lacking the drive to get on with life. Thus, parents get stuck with 35 year old children living at home. Don't get stuck in that rut honey.
2007-07-22 14:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you have to let him, only if you decide to try it. That said . . . try setting some ground rules and see if he can live by them. If he is in trouble with the law and you kick him out, what are his options? Does he have good friends he can live with or some other relative? Just because his dad married you, doesn't mean that he doesn't still love his son.
Don't make a man choose between you and his son. (Just like I would say to a man, don't make a woman choose between you and her child).
Last comment . . . a lot of successful people started out life on the wrong road, then turned it around. He's only 20.
2007-07-22 21:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by yyyyyy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh oh! You didn't talk about this before you bought the house!
You didn't talk about this before you got married. Get to talking. Your husband is part of his family and the son is included. Does your husband say yes? If so--that's it! If you get a laywer (to get a lease or an agreement drawn up) will you be going against your husband? Good luck to you! Start communicating!
2007-07-22 22:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband's son, it is up to your husband to determine whether he is to live there or not. You can voice your concerns about him not having a job being able to pay rent to your husband but if your husband is willing to support him on HIS salary alone there isn't much you can say. Just make sure that none of YOUR money is going to support this deadbeat.
2007-07-22 23:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's his son, why are you asking? He needs to decide if he wants him there. You need to talk to him about your concerns. This isn't about rights, this is about communicating with your husband about the concerns around his son moving in.
2007-07-22 20:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by Linda K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You own half the property. So you get half of the decision as to who lives there. Tell your husband that you don't want his son living there with you.
2007-07-22 20:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 20 and doesn't work? Tell him to get a job and charge him rent. Otherwise, show him the door and tell him to use it!
It's your house, not the kid's. If you let him live there it doesn't entitle him to any rights of ownership.
2007-07-22 21:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by Julius4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not have to let him move in. He is an adult of legal age. You only need to supply food and shelter to him while he is under the age of 18.
From what you've said, I don't blame you for not wanting him living with you...it will only enable him.
2007-07-22 21:01:27 · answer #8 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way ground rules pick up clean up get a job or get out,Where's he been for 20 yrs? Best be talking to dad???
2007-07-22 21:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to let him kno he won't have free room and board discuss it wit ur husband first draw clear line in the sand
2007-07-22 21:12:25 · answer #10 · answered by OMOTAYO.A. A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋