My husband is really making me mad...I really dont understand why he is allowed to do what he wants and I still have to do everything...he works and I stay home with our children. I do think he loves me, but it is so all about him. He is never with me...his friends, work, volenteering is so much more to him then me...he missed the birth of our second child because he wanted to go to work...so he wouldnt have to make it up...last week we was meeting up with him to eat lunch and he decided to go out with his co worked instead of meeting up with me and his children...we only have 2 kids...he told me he is only volenteering 8-16 hours a month and he goes out 3 times a week 4-5 hours each night...and I know he is definatley votenteering...he goes with the cops...and I have seen him...I was suppose to be able to get a little break and get to go work out but that istn happening unless I take the girls with me...so what do yall think???
2007-07-22 13:24:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he is home he is playing playstation and I am up here either watch tv or in a room playing a game with the girls or on the computer..
2007-07-22 13:42:45 · update #1
As a married man I would say that he is acting in a very selfish and immature manner. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Let him know just because you stay at home with the kids does not mean that he can go and do what he wants. Tell him that you have needs to. If he can't make time for you (and the kids) then you should seek out a counselor and work this out.
2007-07-22 13:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Right now you are not even on his radar as far as his priorities goes. I'd say it's time you started calling the shots because he could go on indefinitely being a self-centered insensitive arrogant fool.
What man gives a toss about his work when his love is giving birth to his child?
What man puts his wife and kids last?
If he doesn't start giving more of his time and being a part of his family he's going to find himself coming home to an empty house. Make him understand the seriousness of the situation and if he still insists on living his life with no regards for you and the kids then. ..Well, I know what I'd do.
2007-07-22 21:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's being selfish, but not on purpose (hopefully). He thinks because he earns the money he's entitled to a little time off to do what he wants. But he's not taking into account how hard it is to raise kids and not have help or exactly how much time off he gets every week.
So you should probably try to get him to go to a counselor, because people are more willing to listen if a non-partial third person is there to mediate...and back you up if need be. When someone outside of the situation tells someone they are being selfish they are more likely to listen than if the other person in the relationship says anything. That's more likely to be treated as criticism and ignored.
If you can't afford that, or he won't go, try to have him take care of the kids one day a week so you can have a day off. If he won't even do that...try for an hour a week and gradually extend the time you get off a week. Hopefully nothing more drastic will be needed.
2007-07-22 20:35:47 · answer #3 · answered by ne0h0taru 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to get a babysitter. If you have family close by, get them to babysit for a few hours even on week nights and go with a friend to the movies on a week night. To be at your best with your children, you need time to yourself and a break. I am a parent and if I don't get enough of a break, I'm not as patient with my son.
Make yourself more fun for your husband. He may think that spending time with you is just being at home watching the kids run around him and that is more work than fun. You, your husband, and your kids should go to parks and playgrounds together. Since your husband likes to play playstation a lot, you need to get out of the house!!! Find places to go that aren't too expensive and just get out of the house! Weekend get-away may be fun. Take the kids to a zoo or an amusement park. Go somewhere fun as a family. Good luck!
2007-07-22 20:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by daisy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He reminds me of my husband. I also stay home with our 3 children, 2 our mine from a previous marriage, but he treats them like his own, but he works out of state Sun. thru Thurs. and then wants to go and do stuff without us too. Most men are very selfish and don't think about anyone but theirselves. I haven't been out of the house (except to the doctor for my annual) without at least one of the kids in almost a 1 1/2 years. But he can go whenever he wants and is gone away from them all week. Missing the birth of a child is unexcusable. My first husband missed the birth of our 1st child supposedly cuz he was at some sort of school for his work, yeah right. Start acting the same way. When he is home and you want to go out, go. Just leave the kids with him and go. Good luck.
2007-07-22 20:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's being unfair and unreasonable. One quick solution -- get into the work force, even part time. That way you'll have excuses why you can't be home, and he'll have to stay with the kids on a more equitable basis.
2007-07-22 20:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Stephen L 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sometimes i have a lot of questions about my relationships too. but i have realized that the only person who can answer what should i do is myself.
Please see your life in retrospective, what do you want out of it? are you having what you want now? and then plan for the future and answer yourself what can you do to make the necessary changes.
He may get really mad when changes occur, but it seems there is not option for you to dialogue about your future.
2007-07-22 20:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Salmon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs some space! You're smothering him- that's why he needs to make exccuses to get out! Develop your own interests, which will make YOU more happy and self confident. In turn you'll learn to appreciate HIS space as well! Find a babysitter (family, teenage neighbor-whatever) and take a photography class, swim, go fishing- whatever it is that floats your boat and develop YOURSELF.
2007-07-22 20:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats not right but really think about what u do cuz remember u cant b selfish and 4 get how ur 2 gurls r going to grow up without a father
2007-07-22 20:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine s 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am so glad I don't have your life! It sounds miserable. Your husband is definitely spending time with everyone but you and that's a huge sign. Be prepared for it to get a lot worse.
2007-07-22 20:31:34 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋