do you think i have the right to be MAD?

Question

my wife has had a hard time sleeping at night in the past but some ppl moved in accross the street and my wife and the other girl has been staying awake ALL night long every night since she moved in and my wife has been texing this guy none stop i know it is not nothing about sex or any thing but it is like one tex after another as far as the woman accross the street goes she stays over my house all night long she will go home every morning about 6:30 to 7:30 in the morning an then my wife can go to bed i have hinted around that the woman need to go home that way my wife can sleep with her husband (me) we have kids and since she has been staying over here my wife sleeps till 2:00 or 3:00 in the after noon what would you do if you was me i want to sleep with my wife at night but remember she had problems sleeping in the past but she use to try to sleep with me i dont want to be rude and tell that she needs to go home at night and every time i talk to my wife she tells me

that she is a grown up and i am not her dad that she can stay up as long as she wants

Answer 1

OOh, bad karma!!! Sort it out quick before it gets out of hand.

Answer 2

You certainly do have a reason to be upset. You have children, you have responsibilitiesas a grown up and "grown-up" would understand that life doesn't just stop because there is a health issue. Life keeps going. If she has insomnia then she needs to find a Dr who can RX her something that will work with her needs to get her to sleep. Just because she can't sleep doesn't mean that her responsibilitites as a mother are allowed to be put on hold. I have insomnia right now because my husband is deployed. But I HAVE to get up at 8 when my kids get up regardless if I fall asleep at 1, 4 or even 5 am which I have done. Its not easy, but neglecting her loved ones is not a very "Grown-up" thing to do. She sounds like an immature teen rather than a grownup. The whole situation you explained is wrong and you need to tell her AND her latenight buddy that its over...Either she steps up and takes responsibility for her ownself and gets the help she needs to get the sleep she needs and starts to acknowledge you as her husband OR she needs to move out for awhile. A separation mught just clue her in on how incredibly selfish and immature she really is being.

Answer 3

I'd definitely be upset -- I think that sleeping together (not just sex) is a crucial part of being married -- it is where you let down your guard together and it solidifies your bond. Your wife is being very selfish and immature, but I don't think that being mad is going to be that productive.

Was she anxious going to bed earlier? I can see that if she was having a hard time sleeping -- she wouldn't want to just lie there awake. Perhaps she needs to go to a doctor.

I'd let her know how important it is to you (do this while holding her hand) to have her next to you at night. She is your #1 priority (I hope this is true), and you want to know that you are important to her. Sleeping next to her is part of that. Ask her how you can help... does she need a doctor... how can you help going to bed earlier easier on her.

If she is disrespectful of that, she is in the wrong. I recommend The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage (book) for you to both read together. Or, one suggestion is to read it and underline all of the things you are going to do for HER. This may lower her defenses. I wish you luck.

She needs to tell her friend to beat it. You're right, she should be in bed with you.

Answer 4

Your wife may be grown up but she's not acting like it. She's got a bad habit going here and for herself as well as for your marriage, she needs to stop it! Doesn't she have a house to take care of? Laundry? Meals? Shopping? Try telling her you miss her spending time with you. You can't make her change her schedule but you can try to make her WANT to. Is this a symptom of other problems in your marriage? What's with the other couple's relationship? I don't think being angry will help you but being upset and setting some more reasonable hours for your wife to be with a neighbor is a very reasonable request to make of her.

Answer 5

Yes, she IS a grown up, but she is NOT acting like one. She's reverting back to being a teenager, which is dangerous.

First, it makes her slack off on her responsibilities to FIRST you (her husband) and SECOND your kids. How can she be sleeping until 2 or 3??? Who gets the kids off to school? Don't either of you work?

You have EVERY right to be upset. Not being able to sleep well doesn't give you license to start acting like a child. She's an adult, she married you and had children, and she needs to be reminded that FAMILY comes first when you are a grown up, not your friends.

Answer 6

Sounds like your wife is having a lot of fun. Maybe she hasn't had that much fun in her life for a long time. I know, it sucks, but remember, she's going to be your wife forever. This deal with the neighbors will not last that long.
Let her have her fun, but remind her of her responsibilties too. Like, tell her, "It's going to be hard for you to get up tommorrow to take the kids somewhere when I'm at work," or something like that.
Have some fun with her, but don't let it get out of hand. By the time school starts, she should be back to a normal schedule.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Get up early and mow the lawn right when she goes to bed.... vaccuum the house at 8am. Get your kids to go to bed REALLY early and start going out yourself. They might wake her up when she goes to bed. Tell her that what she is doing is disprutive and that you would never expose her to anything that made her feel like a stranger in her own home, but you feel like one in yours. Offer to move out if that makes her happier. Go accross the street and tell this womans husband that you need to sleep over cuz his wife is too noisy at your house. Get counseling for yourself. She is out of control.

Answer 8

I can't believe you even asked the question. Do you enjoy being made a fool of?? Tell ya what, While she is sleeping, go get her suitcase, pack her clothes and her tooth brush, then wake her up and tell her to get the f%#*k out. Then take the kids out to celebrate. How hard could that be?
Say, you wouldn't happen to be blonde would ya?

Answer 9

Hey, let her have her friends, but tell her you want some more quality "us" time too. Give her some space. If you get mad at her what will that achieve? She'll only compare her mad husband with the calm guy she's texting and think who would she prefer? Someone who'se angry or someone who'se fun? Try to be fun for her, woo her, don't stress her out.

Answer 10

Tell the other lady to get her own life and tell your wife she's not 16 anymore and the bags are showing.

Answer 11

She is living as a married/single. It is not OK to hang out all night and send text messages unless you are a teenager. You need to have a TALK with her about her regression. Smith s you are correct and funny :)