if you were me?

Question

i had a boyfriend for almost 2 yrs. and our communication was poor because he worked overseas. thinking that it was over because of his silence i accepted another guy and our relationship did well. bf 1 suddenly showed up and i frankly told him that im already into a relationship but he refused to accept it and still continued to love me. boyfriend 2 accepted a job overseas and proposed to marry me after awhile which i accepted but still bf 1 persisted to see me everytime he comes for vacation. I cant deny that i still love bf1 but i was already committed to bf2.

to cut the story short i got married and still continued to date bf1 but i my conscience is killing me i stopped to see bf1 and cut all sort of communication. i joined my husband (bf2) at his work place

up to this date, bf1 still comes to haunt me in my dreams. i have searched for him on the net and i was able to locate him. he is now married.

what should i do. i still love bf1 and i know he feels the same.

bf1 married after i got married. I didnt have any choice but to marry bf2 because his family and mine will be disappointed.

Answer 1

Sounds like you shouldn't have got married in the first place. If you dont love bf 1 then why you still with him?? Ur being very selfish not to mitchen dishonest.

Answer 2

You really ran things into the ditch when you started a relationship with the second one without breaking up with the first. And then....well, you know what happened next. Your conscience should be bothering you because now you're both married to other people and you know you've been unfaithful to your husband. At some point, you need to CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR and a good place to start would be to stop trying to contact your ex. HE'S MARRIED. Leave him alone. Spend your energy on your husband and your marriage. You'll feel better about yourself if you start making some good decisions.

Answer 3

Let it go. You are both married now and have new lives apart. If you continue to go this route then there is a possibility of wrecking at least three other lives maybe more if there are children.
You made your choice back then and you have to live with it now. Fantasies are great but let them just be that.
Probably every woman has thought to herself "What if I had married ____ instead of ____, my life would have been so much better..." But they left it alone in the end and so must you.
Just let it go and get on with making your current life the best you can for you and your husband.

Answer 4

If I were you I would live my life trying to make bf2 feel like a husband, instead of a bf. Everyone makes mistakes, but making a mistake doesn't give you the right to hurt someone else so that you can change what you did.

Answer 5

Why would you fallin love w/ someone eles if you were married? Were you unhappy w/ your husband ? Then you should have cut your ties. You r in love w/ your boyfriend ...does he know this? He is married ...if you two had something special you should discuss your relationship and do not be married if you r not willing to give 100 % to your marriage and you r not b/c you do not love your husband.... Good luck on your choices.... You have many to make ....Remember this if it was the boyfriend who did not want you then do not destroy .....his life& marraige. He would find you if you r ment to be together...... If you love him you will protect him.... that is the purest form of love ..Close your eyes and see that he may be happy... Sometimes when you love someone you have to let go ..........for them..........

Answer 6

You should stop being a childish little baby and act like a married woman.

And guess what....bf1 DID NOT CHOOSE YOU.

Answer 7

Be a wife to your husband. Cut ties with your old life. Make friends with his friends wives and start doing things for your husband that will make him happy. Honor the committment you made and even if you drema about your old life, just move along and make your life you have now the very best that it can be. With your energy focused on your husband you should be feeling better in no time. What you are doing is talking yourself out of the responsability you took on so you do not have to face it. Just face it. You will be happier. You are both married. Act that way!

Answer 8

I'm not married yet, but i pray this neva happens to me. U're only playin with explosives that will not just hurt u, but those around u. U're married so stay so if not, leave. Stop playin stupid with ur marriage. Or do u think bf1 will leave his wife for u? Stop being a foolish dreamer. Cut off from him. stop mailing him & talkin to him. As it is, u've done enough damage.

Answer 9

I can understand how you can still love bf1.But you never said rather you loved your husband. you have to leave him there in your dreams if you love him. if its meant for you to be with bf1 you'll be together just as soon as you let it go. trust me

Answer 10

Well, you have nobody but yourself to blame for the mess!! You should have called it quits with ALL MEN- when the bf #1 wasn't talking to you because of HIS JOB!! (hello- anyone home??? it's a job- he's not married to you) but instead you go and find another man, because no doubt you were lonely and didn't want to be alone, to figure out your own damn emotions about bf#1- so you made a mess! pat yourself on the back, and tell yourself you're one hell of a woman, because you confused the hell out of yourself.

Cry to someone who cares, because you made your bed, now you lie it!!