We were talking about my brother and his wife and he constantly accuses his wife of cheating. I asked him if he would be forgiving if he knew that I cheated on him and he said that he wouldnt waste his time fighting with me or the other guy, he would just leave. Weve been together for 17 years and married for 13. I recently had been cheating on my husband. I ended that relationship with the guy and my husband doesnt know anything about it. I look at him everyday and it eats me up that I cheated and I want to tell him,but my heart and something inside tells me not to say anything. I made a huge mistake with this other guy and I broke it off with him.. Should I get it off my chest and tell him or leave it alone.. What would you do?
2007-07-22 11:36:34 · 16 answers · asked by its not that serious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not to justify what i did.. but to whoever wanted to know.. yes my husband cheated on me about 2 years ago.. But I didnt do it to get back at him. I was not sexually satisfied at home and m husband is the only man I have ever been with my whole life..It was curiosity
2007-07-22 12:07:35 · update #1
I would just leave it alone and let it die with you! All this will do is take the guilt off of you and put it on him. Telling him is not worth the problems it may cause you in the long run. If you truly love him and you know that you will never do that again than leave it be. He was not perfect and you learned from your own experience and just be a great wife to him now! Him knowing this will make you feel better but in the long run it could end your marriage. Just put it behind you and don't breathe a word sweetie. Things happen and it's over now .........move on and be happy in your marriage. Best wishes and take care.
2007-07-22 19:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
give yor husband a little of credit hun.He isn't as stupid as you think and probably already knows.He might not realise its over but men are not as nieve as you think they are.Why do you think you and him were discussing cheating in the first place? He acted as if he was not aware because he is waiting for you to come clean.He is testing you.Tell him and it might be easier on you and his relationship.He deserves to know and deserves to hear it from you.He deserves to also be tested and have you tested as well.If the guy you cheated with partook in you cheating on your husband then rest assured he could have been with someone else as well.since you cheated then obviously you are unhappy about something.Why not just leave him? Areyou really expecting positive answers here?
I cannot believe how many of you are saying to hide it and it and the guilt will go away someday! If a man asked this question you would all be calling him a scumbag.One user even said to forget it and ask god for forgiveness.That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! I believe the bible says you have to ask god for forgiveness after making things right with those you trespassed against.Some of you christians interpret the bible anyway you feel like!
2007-07-22 12:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
my dear girl you sure are in a pickle.
I have never been in your position so I couldn't say what I would do, however,I'd like to say what I think you should do.
If you remain silent and let it pass you will forever feel guilt inside. You will have to learn to live with this guilt and let it be a reminder the next time you have a desire to have an affair. If you truly feel bad about what you did you will honor your husband by remaining ever true.
If you decide to ease the guilt and tell him of this then be prepared for your whole relationship to change. Even if he were to forgive you, which is unlikely, he will be forever suspicious of you. His trust in you will be broken and this is hard to live with.
I wouldn't tell him. Bare the burden of guilt and in time, if you remain loyal, it will ease.
After all, you are the cause of this, why should he have to suffer as well?
In time it will get easier to live with.
best to you.......
2007-07-22 12:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by newfy hank 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would erase this from my email account asap and I would forget all about it . Why hurt him and if you want your husband you will shut your mouth. Don't be stupid. Keep your mouth shut and find some peace with god ask for forgiveness with the lord and be done with it don't look back . Becoming honest with him really what are you going to gain ? Hurt feelings no trust ??? Don't be stupid. My grandfather once told me that if you were ever caught with your pants down it wasn't you and you don't know what there talking about . Sounds a little dishonest but baby if you want your marriage to work FORGET ABOUT IT. We all make mistakes. Don't ever cheat again.
2007-07-22 12:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by margo322 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u tell your husband the truth he will leave u, and your marriage will be over. u need to focus on making a better marriage, yes u made a huge mistake, and next time u may not be able to get out of it so easily. he will leave u if he finds out, not because he doesn't love u, but its a way to protect the ego from further harm.
2007-07-22 11:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd rather have a clear conscience for the rest of my life. Any human being deserves to know the truth, especially if it affects them so drastically. If his love for you is strong enough, he'll stay to work it out. If not, then all I can say is you knew what the consequences would be. It's just a risk you're going to have to take.
2007-07-22 11:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by HoPeFuL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relive your guilt by telling him might make you feel better but would only hurt him. If its really over I would say do not tell. The guilt you feel is your punishment. But you need to get help to figure out what problems caused you to cheat to being with. Good luck
2007-07-22 11:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by Love the west 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You get your backside into therapy ASAP and deal with WHY you had the affair and set up a relationship with someone who will make you ACCOUNTABLE for what you did.
I would NOT tell him. The only good that will come out of that is you feeling 'better'....and that's selfish.
2007-07-22 11:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him, you already know that he will leave.
It would probably devastate him.
But ask yourself this, if he cheated on you, would you want to know?
Sometimes sparing the other persons feelings is worth more than clearing your own sense of guilt.
2007-07-22 11:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by Sumie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Figure out what made you seek out another man. I would have to ask that question to myself first. Go from there.
2007-07-22 11:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by GRITS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋