My husband cheated on me and I left. We have been apart for 7 months. We worked things out and just got back together a month ago. I can not have kids and we have tryed for 4 years. We both just found out she is having his baby. She has signed over all right to the baby and doesnt want anything to do with it. Should I stay or go?
2007-07-22 11:05:47 · 16 answers · asked by k f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow... tough one this... you need to look deep inside yourself and see firstly if you can truly forgive your husband and trust him again... secondly can you love and raise this child as your own.. knowing how it was conceived... if you can honestly answer yes to both these questions then yes stay... but if you have any doubts seek some help to resolve how you truly feel before bringing a child into the home....
l wish you luck...
2007-07-22 11:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by narregirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him then you should stay. If this woman is sincere about giving up all rights to her baby and you feel that you could give the baby a good life, then stay and have the child that you couldn't give your husband. It may be hard at times to think that you're raising a child that your husband had to another woman, but you could also look at it like adopting a child that the parents/mother didn't want. The safest way to do it though, if you want to stay and raise this child, is to make it legal and actually adopt the baby. This way the baby will be yours and she can't say she wants the baby back later down the road. Talk with your husband about it and come to a decision between the two of you.
2007-07-22 11:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that only you can answer this question for yourself. Some of the key points that I would really take into consideration is are you willing to forgive your husband with your heart and not only think that you are? Will you be able to love this child as though it were your own if you can answer the first question and if by chance you do become pregnant will you favor your own flesh and blood over this other child that isn't asked to be brought into this world?
I would really seek professional help on this one if it was me and talk things out, it feels so much better processing everything and weighting out all of the pros and cons and here's a huge one......if she does decide to keep the baby then where will this leave you emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically? Like I was suggesting only you can determine for yourself what you really want to do and please think this through as it is a little child's life that is on the line as well as your own. I wouldn't make this decision lightly and not know in my heart where I stand.
I hope that it all works out for you!
2007-07-23 18:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by darlin0043 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the question about she signed over the baby does it mean that the baby will stay with him?In your case it'sdifferent because you can't concieved and if your husband wants to be with you I would say just forgive him maybe he wants a child and you that's why he did what he did.And if you leave him and look for a new guy I'm not sure if they will love as much. I would say stay a little bit longer see how things will turn out if you don't like it you can go.
2007-07-22 11:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by @NGEL B@BY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my , you are in a tough situation. You certainly have a lot of deciding to do here. You have to weigh out the pros and the con's and make a choice. I think people can be forgiven ,we are all human and deserve to be forgiven. Have you been able to forgive him ? Has he forgiven himself ? Hopefully this was resolved before you got back together. I think it depends on how strong your marriage is and how well you are communicating. Will you see her in this child everyday of your life ? Or will you be able to let it go ? You are the only one to answer that. I believe in love and that's one thing that don't go out of style and there is enough to go around. Love love love. I am one that cannot have children and before this happened to me I had a child and gave it up for adoption at a young age so I know the pain of not being able to have children ! Here though is a child that is your husbands and if you really have forgiven your husband and he is really sincere in being devoted and honest you can do this. You two can have a wonderful family. You should leave if you don't have it in you, this is potentially a recipe for disaster. Be true to yourself and pray for Gods will. Best wish to you.
2007-07-22 11:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by margo322 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman to woman, wife to wife.. You only knows how he makes you feel as in security wise. You know how great the two of you really are, think about it he does that's why the two of you are back together. Hang in there it's worth it. You sound like you heart is filled with so much love and you don't want to let go. So don't. You wanted another child and that's all GOD heard the fact that it's not yours was not in your prayers. Raise "your" child like only the two of you can. Keep your head up. You ask the question cause you can't think of enough good reasons to walk a way.. You stuck through it this long your reward will be much grater in the end, believe me I know
2007-07-22 11:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by Susie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve a better life than that. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I admire you for attempting to work things out, but now with another woman having his child I feel this will only complicate things and not allow you to work on your relationship with him. Ultimately, it is your choice, but life it too short to have to deal with all the baggage that staying with this man will create.
2007-07-22 11:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by lsah1852 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can live for the rest of your life knowing that your husband cheated on you, and that you're raising their love child, then go ahead. I personally would be very hurt and wouldn't be interested in that, but you may feel differently because you are unable to have a child of your own.
2007-07-22 11:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by bo, kingpin at large 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How sad.
But that only tells you that he
does have great sperm count.
Trust me, that dude is going to be
in full charge of this baby and his mama.
He is not going to forget her..
If the sex was great , he will return..
Good luck..
I would just drop it..
I could no longer trust him..especially around
the other woman and the baby.
You are never going to be confident /trustworthy
of this character.
2007-07-26 10:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by just me here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay. Help him raise the child it could be a great thing for both of you.
2007-07-22 11:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by gonecrazybacksooninky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋