i am 17 and i have a boyfriend that i've been with for a year now. i work 2 home jobs making $400 a week for both jobs. i have been on birth control for 2 weeks, then i started just throwing them away. for the rest of the 2 weeks. i've been having unprotected sex for the whole time. he thinks im taking the birth control but im not. i so badly want to get pregnant. and now i think i am. im just waiting it out. i know this is wrong, but is there a way any doctor can detect that i really havent been taking the birth control pills? and whats your opinion of the whol situation? please tell me thanks. and like how much all together does it cost to get everything for the baby. i know wal mart has somthing called nursery in a box. its a really nice crib and changing table and dresser for only. $199.99 they come in white cherry and honey.
2007-07-22 10:47:51 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The most important thing in any relationship is trust. How do you think your boyfriend would feel about being forced into such a life-changing situation? If you are pregnant, even if he doesn't stay with you he will have to support this baby for the rest of his life when he had no say in whether he wanted it or not. Are you willing to raise this baby on your own and be a single mother? Because at 17 there is a good chance you guys won't stay together forever.
If you want a baby and feel that you are truly ready (and have seriously thought out what a big responsibility it is) there is nothing wrong with that, but you need to be honest about your feelings with your partner and find one that wants to conceive a child with you. The child will be just as much his as yours so he should have a say in whether you guys should be trying to conceive or not!
2007-07-22 13:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure if the doctor can tell about the birth control thing or not but before u do anything drastic take into consideration that you are only 17 and having a baby is way more responsibility than you realize. I am 30 and still am having issues with the life changing event. Once u have a baby life is over on any kind of selfish manner. Please just listen to me, U R WAY TOO YOUNG? Give yourself a chance to grow up and be an adult the wait is well worth. If u know that it is wrong them y r u doing it? Shouldnt that speak for itself. The costs of having a baby are more than you could even imagine at this point. Yeah you can find stuff for cheap but what you do not know is that there are several reoccuring expenses. Dont u want to wait until u have ur life in order and afford to give your child everything you can. My boyfriend brings home 700 a week and we still struggle to pay the bills. PLEASE..IM BEGGING..Give this ALOT more thought. The wait is well worth it. I always said when I was 21 i was going to have a baby, well now my son is 2 and im 30 and i am definately glad that I waited. In those 7 years I waited i experienced alot that i never would have given I would have had a baby and now my son is the most wonderfulthing in the whole world.
2007-07-22 11:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by mimi 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Frist off honey your not ready for a child, the simple fact that you doing this behind your b/f's back, is very very immature. A child is a huge responsibly, your way to young for that. When your b/f finds out that you done this behind his back his more the likely going to leave you, cause in ways you lied and deceived him.
2nd Nursery is the least of your worries $400 a week is no money, when start buying diapers,milk, then there is insurance for the baby and you. I mean there are state run programs but that's a big problems teens and other people think if I get pregnant then I can go get the state to keep me and the child up which is very immature again. It's very very expensive if your not pregnant got back on birth control wait a few years till your married and more stable and have grew up some.
2007-07-22 11:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you're feeling broody. You've been taking the pill, and now you have stopped, and not let the guy know. What sort of a mother are you going to be?
The probabilty of you getting pregnant or being pregnant are extremely high.
You are going to need support for the baby. It is going to need what is called family. Your going to need family. The father is going to need family.
People can forgive mistakes, people can understand nature taking its course. But people hate being lied to, they detest being deceived.
I would strongly advise you to get the support of your family; to get the support of your boyfriend; to get the support of your health workers, and think yourself lucky if you get an ear bashing. In some cultures you would be stoned.
Familiarise yourself with all the best pracitices for pregancy, for child birth, the importance of the first year, and feeding and potty training and education, and all there is to know about child rearing, because when the bairn comes, you won't have time to be looking it up in books, you will just have to rely on your knowledge and instinct.
So you really want this baby, are you prepared for the mother's commitment of love, to love your child from the moment they're born, to your last good bye, no matter what they looks like, what they do or who they become?
What's been done, has been done. It can't be undone. You can't now wish you'd done things differently. but you can do the best you can for your child. If it so happens that you are not pregnant. Please don't get pregnant until the whole family is ready for it. That will be much better for you and what is better for you will be better for the child,
2007-07-22 11:54:18 · answer #4 · answered by d00ney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everything for a baby gets expensive... u need a lot more than just a nursery in a box. You need cloths for the baby, you need blankets,hygiene products,medical products,ointments,baby wash,a baby bath tub,DIAPERS and WIPES...and moreand honestly you should tell your man about the BC because if u are pregnant or gonna be pregnant he will eventually find out one way or another...and raising a baby is hard also... I wanted a baby really bad when I was 16 and me and my husband(boyfriend at the time) planned on having a baby and I got pregnant n had my first daughter at 17... n it was hard even w/ a planned pregnancy all the costs kinda bit us in the butt....
Kids are really great to have, I have 2 daughters...but just really make sure you are prepared emotionally n a little bit financially (no one is ever finanacially ready for a baby I don't care WHAT THEY SAY) before you make the big decision.
good luck
2007-07-22 11:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by bought2B2Babies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being incredibly irresponsible. Why on earth would you lie and manipulate your boyfriend into becoming a father he may not be ready to be yet?
17, unmarried, having unprotected sex, lying to your boyfriend about taking birth control. WRONG.
"I so badly want to get pregnant" - why the rush, you're only 17!
Having a baby should be a mutual decision and it takes a lot more than a cheap "nursery in a box" to care for a baby.
And yes, the doctor can detect the birth control pill in your system
2007-07-22 11:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by sweetnunziata 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl, springing up a surprise of a baby on your hubby is the worst decision you could ever take in your life. What you are doing is hoodwinking him into thinking you're on pills and that isn't right... Don't be selfish in this desire to want a baby. You are too bloody young to want a baby!!! Please for your own sake, go to school or do some more school. Yes you can... u have time on your side, my dear. When a baby comes into your the situation, life as you know it WILL come to a halt, a screeching one. Having a baby, doesnt just entail having to buy one piece of something from WalMart. There are hospitals to go to, clinics to attend, post-natals, food (the right ones), the NEEDS of the new-born are endless!! Not to mention YOUR newly-acquired needs. Sweetheart, these are real issues...I dunno how good your bf is, but I guess him being marginally older than you, will not be easy on him. He may just pack up and leave. I'm not painitng a gloomy picture but reality has to be faced. The money you are making now, isn't even enough to look after you alone....in a certain sense.
Please my dear, think properly about this. Don't hurt yourself and any baby you wanna have. Please keep your llife in one good piece for the very right moment.
God bless you; all the best.
2007-07-22 11:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bruno Tataglia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For your boyfriends sake I hope you are not. You may think you are ready to be a mother, but doesn't he have a choice in being a father? What kind of relationship do you really have if you are willing to lie to him about something this important? Babies cost a lot of money. The cost of delivering them (even with insurance) can be extremely high. I think I paid around $2000. for the delivery and hospital stay after insurance! A box of 80 diapers costs around $21. that will last around a week. That is over $1000 in diapers a year alone! I hope that you are not, and consider the consequences. If you are, I wish you all the luck in the world....you will need it!
2007-07-22 11:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie... I'm a bit speechless, but I think you're about to get a crash-course in School of Hard Knocks...
I don't believe in what you did, but I don't get to make that decision, so here it goes:
Having a baby is more expensive than you'll ever dream of. Not only preparing for the baby, but the next 18 years part of it too. This baby depends on you for EVERYTHING.. it's not like he can get up and go to the fridge and get an apple, or go to McDonald's and get a cheeseburger himself... there are special needs for a child, certain things at certain times, know what I mean? And it gets VERY expensive. Not to mention, doctors visits and hospital bills. The average cost to have a child in the hospital in my area is $15,000! Do you have that lying around? Probably not.
Now, they probably won't test you to see if you've been taking your pills, they'll just ask you. But it's totally wrong to withhold this information from your bf. He's going to have to be responsible for this child too, and you've burdened him with something he apparently doesn't want right now, and even worse, something he told you he's not READY for, and you trapped him. It's wrong.
I am a 25-year old woman who is 27 weeks pregnant currently, and the father walked out on me and my son. This was through no fault of my own, this was just bc of his lies. So, I hate to say this, but I take great offense to the fact that you trapped your guy when he was completely honest with you, when my guy left me bc he was dishonest! But, it's your choice ultimately, and you'll have to pay the price, in more than one way.
Just bc you're 17 doesn't mean you're irresponsible, BUT the decisions that you've made thus far are extremely irresponsible. So I hope you're prepared for the consequences.
Good luck to you...
Start researching Day care, costs at your local hospital and doctor, buy diapers and clothes each time you go to the store, and go to your local health clinic for adivse about nursing and birthing classes. Or, ask you doctor.
You've go a lot coming to you that you don't even know about yet!
2007-07-22 11:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is very expensive. You may have good jobs, but what about education and housing. Do you have support from friends and family? All those things are necessary to have a healthy environment for a child to grow up. It is very wrong to lead your boyfriend to believe you are on birth control...how is he going to react when you get pregnant? What if he leaves you and abandons the baby? What if he feels trapped and feels like he is obligated to give up things he wants for himself? If he ever finds out what your doing I'm sure he'll be hurt and if he does not want a baby he will resent you for it. I am not one to preach about age since I was 15 when I got pregnant with twins but I had the love of an amazing man who was looking forward to being a daddy, support from his family (and eventually my own), great friends, my boyfriend also had a great job and we had our own house by the time the twins were born.
Oh and as for a doctor detecting birth control pills, I am not sure how long they stay in your system but testing for synthetic hormones is not a routine test in pregnancy.
2007-07-22 10:55:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋